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And there it was. The one thing that Shea had always known was the untouchable subject. She had brought out the big guns.
“You don’t know that he won’t leave,” Farren whispered, and the tears began spilling from her eyes.
“And you don’t know that he will,” Shea countered in a soft, calm voice, grabbing Farren’s hands and holding them between her own.
Farren said nothing, but her body jerked with the silent sobs that overtook her. She had no more words. She was raw and vulnerable, and even with her best friend sitting right in front of her, holding her hands, then wrapping her arms around her, she felt alone. She’d always felt alone.
***
At home that night, she lay in bed and held her cell phone in her hand, staring at the screen for what seemed like an eternity. It was late when she hit the send button with Rayner’s number pulled up, and she immediately regretted it.
She was reaching to hit End when she heard his voice pick up. “Farren?”
She froze.
“Farren, are you there?” he repeated.
His voice sent flutters throughout her stomach. Why did he have to have such a profound effect on her?
“Yes, I’m here,” she answered.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, and his voice sounded so soft and caring. Was it her imagination?
“I… wanted to tell you…” she began.
“Tell me what?” he urged, and she thought she could hear worry tinge his voice.
“Tell you that… I, um…” She lost her nerve. She couldn’t tell him. She had to think of something else, fast. “I felt bad about leaving in such a rush earlier. I wanted to see if there was anything I could work on tonight to get us ahead for in the morning.”
The blood pounding in her ears calmed only slightly with her averted topic. She waited for his response, hoping he didn’t see right through her.
“You’re too young to become a workaholic like me already,” he teased, but the jab at her age sent a pain coursing through her.
She laughed nervously. “No, I just… didn’t want to leave you hanging on anything if there was still work to do.”
“It’s nothing that can’t wait until morning,” he assured her.
“Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Tomorrow,” he agreed.
She was just about to hang up when his voice stopped her again.
“Farren?” he said, and his voice was rough and low.
“Yes?” she asked, thankful for the delay, to hear his voice a while longer.
“Goodnight,” he finally said.
Oh, she thought. “Goodnight,” she returned.
And the line went silent. He was gone.
She set the phone down on the computer desk next to her bed and turned over, hugging her pillow close to her body.
Everything was so uncertain, and she was so scared. How was she ever going to tell him? Did she really have to? Would he figure it out? Of course he would figure it out. He was a brilliant, intelligent man, which was one of his many irresistible qualities. There was no way she could keep this a secret forever.
What was she going to do?
