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‘If that’s what you think you feel right now you’re lying to yourself,’ Grace told him with astonishing conviction. ‘And why are you lying to yourself? Because you feel sorry for me and you think it’s your job to look after me. You have a very strong sense of responsibility and that’s a noble trait but don’t let it blind you to what you really want out of life. And what you really want, Leo, is not me.’
Leo wondered why she was telling him how he felt. Did she really think he was so inadequate that he couldn’t work out his own feelings for himself? Annoyance slashed through him and he wanted to express it but he was horrendously aware of the experience she had undergone and that it was his duty not to make the situation worse.
‘Our marriage was all about the baby and everything you have ever shared with me related to the baby and the baby’s future needs. Without our baby...’ Grace framed unsteadily, tears glinting in her over-bright eyes ‘...we don’t have a marriage. We don’t even have a relationship. We can get a divorce now.’
‘Are you insane?’ Leo heard himself snap back at her, all self-discipline vanquished by her use of that bombshell word. Divorce? How was he supposed to listen to that in polite and understanding silence?
‘I’m looking at a guy who doesn’t even wear a wedding ring!’ Grace shot at him equally out of the blue and Leo looked down at his bare hand in bewilderment, wondering what wedding rings had to do with anything and whether simply leaving the room would be wiser than remaining.
‘You never bothered to ask but I would’ve liked to get married in a church. But then you never really wanted to be properly married to me, so obviously you didn’t bother to ask my preferences. You didn’t choose me,’ Grace condemned heatedly. ‘You married me because I was pregnant, so why would we stay together now?’ she demanded emotively.
Leo lifted stunned dark golden eyes from the offending hand that lacked a wedding ring and thought how sneaky women could be. She had never mentioned his omission or the church thing. She had never by so much as a hint let him know how she felt about him not wearing a wedding ring and now he was being hung out to dry for a sin he hadn’t known he had committed. How fair was that?
‘I can buy a wedding ring,’ Leo pointed out gruffly.
‘That’s not the point!’ Grace exclaimed in seething frustration because he was not giving her the reaction she had expected: he was not looking guiltily relieved.
‘Then why did you mention it? And could we have this conversation at some other time when you’re not emotionally overwrought and we’re both feeling calmer?’ Leo pressed grittily. ‘Because right now is not working for me.’
Grace lifted her chin. ‘I thought it was better to say it and get it out in the open. I don’t want you faking what you don’t feel. You felt things for the baby, not for me.’
‘That is untrue,’ Leo grated, losing patience. ‘You’re my wife and I made a serious commitment to you.’
‘But I don’t want your cold sense of commitment...I want love!’ Grace flung back at him helplessly.
‘I warned you that I couldn’t put that on the table,’ Leo breathed harshly.
‘Oh, you could if you wanted to,’ Grace fielded with unmistakeable bitterness. ‘But you don’t want to. And do you know why? It’s not because you had an unhappy childhood, it’s because you’re an emotional coward.’
His nostrils flared, his eyes kindling like flames. ‘Let’s not descend to that level.’
‘But it’s true. You don’t get involved because you’re scared of getting hurt. Nobody wants to get hurt, Leo, but most of us still try to make a relationship that goes further than practicality and convenient sex. You’re too busy protecting yourself to even give it a go.’ Exhausted by telling him what was wrong with their marriage, Grace fell back against the pillows, drained by emotion. ‘Go back to the castle.’
‘To start planning our divorce?’ Leo challenged darkly.
‘It’s inevitable now,’ she whispered numbly, her heart heavy as lead inside her tight chest. ‘There’s nothing left to keep us together.’
