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Proving this to be true, he leans on the island, his big arms caging me, and yet somehow sheltering me. “Do we need to talk about what just happened?”
The question hangs in the air, and while I want to say no, no, we don’t, there are words on my tongue. Words I can’t seem to fight. They’re going to explode from me, and I don’t know where that leads us.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Emma…
Do we need to talk about what just happened?
No. We need to talk about what he might think and not say and the things in my head that he might be thinking are too much. My capacity for diplomacy seems to be gone, used up with Monroe and so just like that I blurt out, “They wore condoms. It was a rule on the boat. No one fucked without a condom. When I told you I was safe, I am safe. I went and got checked. I’ve had blood work done a couple of times just to be safe. I—”
Jax cups my head and his mouth settles on mine, warm and wonderful, like the spice of his cologne, his tongue swiping deep. “Stop making me want to fall in love with you because I won’t come back from that, baby, and then you’ll be stuck with me.”
My skin heats, emotions welling in my chest. “Jax,” I whisper, overwhelmed in a good way by his response, but there’s more here between us, more bothering me. I pull back to look at him. “I need to know this doesn’t change us. I need to know—”
He leans in and kisses me again, and this time his hand cups my backside and he molds me close, his erection pressing to my belly. “All you do is make me want you more, baby.”
“You barely wanted to spank me as it is. I need to know you won’t be afraid. I need to know you won’t hold back.”
He squeezes my backside. “Did you like it when I spanked you?”
My cheeks heat. “Yes. You know I liked it.”
“Then why the hell wouldn’t I do it again? We do what works for us. I’m not holding back, Emma. I’m charging forward and I hope like hell you are, too.”
“I’m more ready to charge forward with you now than ever Jax North.”
“Good. Then let’s do what needs to be done today, and spend the evening exploring the castle. Yes?”
“Yes,” I agree. “I’d like that.”
“Good.” He kisses me and reaches for my cup, sipping it and then fitting it to my hands, with a wink. “Savage says we’re good to go to stay here, and now that he has his team in place, we’re safe to move around as we please.”
“Safe?” I ask, that word getting my attention. “We think there’s real danger?”
He leans on the counter across from me. “That envelope left for you on the heels of my brother’s death concerns us all.”
“You hired security over York though. Do we really need security over an envelope?”
“York just had the world pulled out from under him,” he says. “That alone is a reason to be cautious. Another good reason to go to Germany,” he adds. “It’s space and time for him to go away. And by the way, that list your father had of my clients, York had it as well.”
My eyes go wide. “They were working together?” Realization hits me. “Oh God. My father was using him to get goods on your clients.”
“And keep them away,” he adds. “Which means he wanted the castle in a big way.”
“Why? What could it be about this castle he wanted to a degree that drove him to such extremes?”
“That’s what we need to find out.”
“My brother knows,” I say. “I know he knows. Before Germany, I need to talk to him. I need to force answers.”
“Then we’ll go talk to him. Right now, I’m going to call the clients your father held captive and assure them York is no longer a problem.”
“I need to work, too. I have some plans for the Germany property I have to deal with today.”
“Do you need your things from the castle to get that done or can it wait until I make these calls?”
“I’m good,” I say. “I think I should call my mother. I told Monroe. He’s going to call her.”
He arches a brow. “How’d he take it?”
“I think he knew but didn’t have confirmation. He seems to appreciate that we told him.”
“Did he bring up York?”
“Yes. He didn’t say it, but I expect him to exit that business.”
“And that’s a reason to keep our security. As Savage said, when someone has nothing to lose, they can become dangerous.” He pushes off the counter and kisses me. “Call your mom. I’ll be here in the kitchen when you’re done.”
“I’m going to go to the front porch. I want to actually admire the view that I’ve been in too much hell to enjoy.”
