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“I take it you got the flowers?”
“Yes. And the card. But I can’t possibly accept this gift, Daniel.”
It kills me to refuse this, but it’s not right. A present would be one thing, but free rein with his credit card? That’s the sort of thing a girlfriend would do, and I’m not his anything. Common decency dictates that I can’t accept it.
“Oh, you will. I want you to accept it. Go wild, Caroline.”
I lick my lips, pressing my free hand to my cheek, which suddenly feels on fire. Images of us together in the hotel bed sweep into my mind, of Daniel asking me to call him Dan, asking me if I could take him in deeper.
Aw, shucks. My imagination escalated quickly, and he hasn’t even been flirting. Clearing my throat, I try to gather my wits around me.
“Daniel, this is not—”
“Stop trying so hard to do what you think is right. You’re dying to go shopping.”
I can hear the smile in his voice, and my decency is melting away by the second. Why does he have to know me this well? I love shopping, but a teacher’s salary requires a lot of self-restraint. I love my job, working with kids. I’m not good at much else, but I’m really good at this one thing. The slight downside is the salary, but I’ve built my life so I don’t need a lot. For some, it would seem like a small or restrictive life, but I like it.
I have a strict no takeout policy, only eating out when the situation requires it. I often invite friends over instead of going out, and I cook for them. I only buy the clothes I need, and try to keep to timeless pieces—jeans, little black dresses—so they won’t go out of style quickly. Some things I even buy from thrift stores. There’s an excellent one nearby, and I came across unexpected gems there.
But what Daniel is offering is insane. I’ll make one last attempt to dissuade him. Just to have a clear conscience.
“It’s just not right.”
“I already bought you some presents, so you’ll have to pick them up anyway.”
“Wow.”
“Thought you might need extra convincing. Pick them up, and buy anything else you want.”
“What did you buy me?” I ask, despite myself.
“You’ll see.”
“Okay.” Energy courses through me as I pace the living room.
“Have fun, and I’ll see you tonight at seven.”
We agreed on dinner in a restaurant in the Presidio to celebrate my birthday and talk about that night, but now I’m losing my nerve about the latter.
“Let’s talk about the elephant in the room now,” Daniel suggests. Shit, shit, shit.
“No elephant here,” I say with an awkward laugh, heading to the kitchen. I can’t face this without caffeine. While brewing coffee, I whip myself up a sandwich, keeping the phone between my shoulder and my ear.
“Okay, let’s leave it for the evening, then. Unless you’d rather we talk about it another day?”
“You wouldn’t mind?”
“You’re th
e birthday girl. Don’t want to spoil your day. But I still want my dinner this evening.”
“Sure. Dinner’s on. No conversation about elephants.”
To be honest, I don’t see how a conversation would help anyway. We both had a slip in our control; that was all. No need to beat a dead horse. Do I crave his touch, miss how safe and cherished it made me feel? Sure I do, but that doesn’t mean I should act on it. Some things are not for me, and Daniel is one of them.
“See you at seven. Have fun shopping. Promise me you’ll go wild.”
Laughing, I try to focus on my sandwich and not the way my pulse skitters. My poor sandwich doesn’t stand a chance of distracting me.
