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Then I decided I was going to gather all my things, just in case Carter needed his territory back and hadn’t wanted to hurt my feelings by saying it.
My limbs felt heavy as I dragged myself around the house, picking up clothes and random possessions. My eyes were burning, and my entire chest felt as if I was being squeezed by a tight corset.
I stopped by the office to sign the papers, and before leaving I descended to the lab. My head chemist was still there.
“Nicole, if you need any input, you can always call me.”
Nicole shook her head. “I’ll survive three days on my own. But, before you go, I do have some goodies for you.”
She showed me two small vials, then sprayed a puff from each on a paper tester.
“Newly concocted today.”
I held them to my nose, and immediately wanted to hug her.
“You so deserve a raise. These are fantastic.”
“See? I can handle things around here without you. Now go, have fun.”
Nicole handed me the vials, and I pocketed them before leaving. Sampling was one of my favorite things to do in the world, but even that wasn’t enough to keep my worry from spiraling into panic as I headed home. I needed to drop off there the stuff I’d packed that I wasn’t taking on the trip.
I took a cab to LAX, wishing my sisters could join me tonight, even though I wasn’t brave enough yet to share my fears with them.
I was ashamed that I was allowing my insecurities to overpower me.
I ran a successful business, and I’d overcome many adversities in my life. My self-esteem was at a healthy level most of the time. Right now, though? My mind was a dangerous place. I knew that, but I couldn’t help that it worked a certain way.
I worried myself sick, wondering if my meddling nature had pushed away the man I loved; if I had suffocated his feelings for me.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Carter
I landed at LAX at 3:00 a.m. The girls were with my parents until the end of the week, which meant Val and I would have four full days for ourselves once she was back. I’d missed her so much. I’d wanted to share everything with her: a joke Peyton made, a cake I thought she would like.
I’d barely restrained myself from texting her continuously so she could relax properly. She’d sent me a few pictures of the vineyard and the hotel, and I was glad she was enjoying herself. She deserved it.
And once she got back, I’d have her all to myself.
At my apartment, I went directly to the bedroom, planning to sleep right away. But I stopped in the doorway, taking in the room. Something was off. I glanced around. The apartment was far too orderly. Val liked to leave her things all around, which didn’t bother me. The girls did the same. It made the place look lived in. Had she tidied up before leaving? Or had the cleaning company been in here in the meantime?
But they never moved the clothes, unless they were on the floor, and then they placed everything on the bed. No, this must have been Val’s doing.
I looked inside the dresser. None of her clothes were there. Had she needed all her things on the trip? Unlikely. Val had brought enough clothes here for three people. My pulse sped up when I checked the bathroom. She’d had what had seemed like a million bottles of all shapes and sizes spread everywhere, and now they were all gone. I popped open the top button of my shirt, suddenly feeling as if I couldn’t breathe right.
Why had she taken everything? She couldn’t possibly need them all on her trip.
An impossible thought wiggled its way into my mind as fear clawed at my gut. Had she left me?
I gripped the bathroom sink with both hands until my knuckles went white.
That couldn’t be right. We’d spoken every day. Our conversations had been short, and Val had talked longer to the girls than to me, but I hadn’t thought much of it. Should I have?
Since our fight, Val had been a little colder, but honestly, I’d deserved it. I’d planned to pamper her like a princess once she got back from the vineyard and we could be alone, to show her just how important she was to me.
She hadn’t changed her mi
nd, had she? I moved to the living room and poured myself a glass of bourbon. I had told her to take the time and think if she was happy with the fact that I was a package deal, if that was what she wanted.
