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“So we go down to the basement and it turns out that he’s taking me to a meeting with him. I was completely fucking uncomfortable. His friends are chatting with me before the meeting starts and talking about how I’m his support system. I’m ready to make a break for the door but then someone calls the meeting to order.”
“The person who’s speaking starts talking about addiction and then proceeds to tell the saddest story I’ve ever heard about selling his kid’s PlayStation for crank. The whole time, this guy is trying to hold my hand and I keep pulling it away. Then they start praying and talking about God, which made me even more uncomfortable. Not really a believer in that whole...whatever.”
“Finally, they take a break, and I get up to go to the bathroom. I come back and tell him that I’m leaving. He makes a little bit of a scene but then I go outside to catch a cab because my car is still messed up, but I find that I have no cash in my wallet. I left my bag on the seat when I went to the bathroom. I think he may have robbed me!”
“So I walk to the ATM, because luckily the fucker didn’t take my cards and get cash. Then I cab it home, make myself a Lean Pocket, and go to bed early,” Maureen finishes.
“Holy shit,” Taryn said, sipping her virgin banana daiquiri. “He robbed you? Where do you even find these guys?”
Celia shook her head, and said, “Shit, girl. I thought my life was fucked up.”
“Online dating. And before any of you even say it...never again. I’ve been thrown up on, robbed, stood up. Fuck it. I’m off men,” Maureen added.
Cora felt Celia scoot closer to her and laughed.
Maureen glared at her and said, “Not like that,” but then paused to consider Celia and added, “You’d totally be my type though, sugar lips.”
“If you two made out, I bet we could get some free drinks,” Cora suggested, laughing at the look on Celia’s face.
Taryn held up her hand and said, “No. Not my virgin eyes. They couldn’t take it.”
“That drink,” Maureen said, “is the only virgin thing at this table, Taryn. I might also point out that you’re like, six months pregnant.”
Snorting, Cora narrowly avoided shooting martini out her nose again. It was time to put the drink down, she decided.
“So,” Taryn asked, bringing the focus back to Cora. “How are things going with you and Jamie?”
“I can’t speak for her, but I can certainly tell you that someone showed up this morning late, and looking distinctly rumpled,” Celia said, grinning.
“Traitor,” Cora hissed. “The secretarial oath is sacred!”
Celia laughed, raised her glass, and said, “But this is rum!”
Cora gave her one last glare and then said, “Things are going well. It’s only been a little bit over a month, though, so we’ll see.”
“We saw on Memorial Day, Cora. He looked like he was ready to mount you in the pool. There are some things that you just can’t unsee!” Maureen complained.
She took another sip of her drink and smugly said, “Well, then be glad you didn’t stay in the same room with us that night.”
Taryn gasped and said, “You dirty girl! Did you have sex in his childhood bed?”
“Like you haven’t,” Cora snorted.
“No. Evan shoots me down every damned time. He says his mother has hearing like a bat. Plus, he’s been hands-off ever since they put me on light duty. No restriction for sex. I confirmed it with my doctor. Granted we play a little rough, but...”
Maureen put her fingers in her ears and said, “La la la!”
Celia frowned and asked, “What’s up with that?”
“Maureen is Evan and Jamie’s sister,” Cora explained.
Celia shook her head sadly at Maureen and said, “Oh Jesus. That poor girl. But all you need to do, Taryn, is just tell him that you’re coming in five minutes, with or without him. Whisper it in his ear and then give his earlobe a gentle nip. He’ll cave.”
Taryn’s eyes lit up and she asked, “Ooh, Cora. Can we keep her? Can we?”
They all dissolved into laughter. Eventually Maureen unplugged her ears and asked, “Are we done?”
Taryn, without missing a beat, said, “And he does this thing with his tongue,” and then dissolved into giggles.
