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“Ah, she is good. Zoe loves her. I appreciate you guys recommending her to me.”
“Absolutely,” he said. “No problem. Always glad to help out. So, did you ask her out yet?”
I laughed. “Give it a rest.”
“What? She is attractive. She is smart, fun, and I know you have noticed these things about her.”
“Well, that may be true, but I’m still not going to go there.”
Ben sighed. “Why not?”
“What? Do you and Becky have some kind of a bet or something? It sounds like you really want me to get with this woman.”
“Ok, I guess you have us figured out. I bet you would be married within the week.”
I smirked and rolled my eyes even though Ben couldn’t see either one. “You are crazy. I know you’re joking.”
“True, but Becky really did think you two would hit it off and the sparks would immediately start flying between you guys.”
I then heard Becky murmuring in the background before she got on the phone. “Ricky, dear, what is your major malfunction?”
I laughed. “I wasn’t aware that I had one.”
“Yeah, something is wrong with you if you don’t take advantage of this opportunity. This is an amazing story. Every great love has a wonderful story of how they met.”
“Is that your angle? You want us to get together so we can have this great story to tell at your Christmas party every year? That’s what you are getting at? That’s a lot of effort just for that, I hate to tell you.”
“What? It will be great to tell everyone.”
“I’m just not ready to dive into the dating world,” I said. “I’m too broken. I can’t subject someone to all of my crazy baggage. It wouldn’t be fair to them.”
She sighed loudly in my ear with a little grunt at the end. “Fine. I tried. That’s all I can do.”
“Sorry to disappoint you. Hey, Ben do you want to go see the game tomorrow?” I asked.
Ben paused a moment as if asking his wife if it was ok. I heard Becky murmuring and Ben murmuring back as I waited for a response to a very basic question.
“Um, yeah. Sure, man,” Ben said. “We can do that. The Braves are in town, right?”
“That’s right.”
“Great. Sounds fun,” he said.
“Cool. I’ll buy the tickets and you can pay me for yours tomorrow. I’ll pick you up in my sweet ride.”
“Sounds good,” Ben replied.
I ended the phone call a few minutes later. I’d hoped some fun conversation would cheer me up out of this funk, and it had at first, but then it had quickly turned to my dating life. I knew my friends were just trying to help, but enough already. I really didn’t need anyone meddling in my personal life.
But they had a few good points. I did feel something strong for Julie. I wanted to just ask her out, maybe take her out to dinner, and see where the conversation led, but it was too much, too soon. We barely knew each other, and though I felt as if I’d known her for a long time already, I knew that it was unlikely she felt the same about me.
“What are you going to do?” I asked softly out loud as I poured myself another drink. Two was usually my limit. It was enough to feel relaxed and to ensure that I was still being responsible about things. I’d seen my uncle Harris drink himself into oblivion and with the pain I’d been carrying around the past few years, I knew that it could very well be me if I wasn’t careful. I had a daughter to raise; I had to stay healthy for her no matter what.
I was worried as could be though. It was kind of funny, and I couldn’t stop laughing at myself as I sipped the whiskey, but it was also kind of serious. I wasn’t sure how I might feel with Julie being around all the time. I was sure this attraction to her was only going to grow and get deeper inside of me over time, but I wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize her job, or her budding relationship with Zoe. She needed a great woman in her life.
I also needed a great woman in my life. Sitting there together at dinner was the first time in a long time that it had felt like a family lived here. It was nice, comforting. I just wanted it back so badly.
But I couldn’t force it. Yet, with Julie it just didn’t feel forced. It felt natural. It felt normal. And it had wrapped my heart up inside it’s warmth that I didn’t want to let that feeling go.
