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“I thought purple was your favorite,” I reminded her.
Zoe realized her error but didn’t miss a beat. “I can have two favorites, dad.”
“Yeah, dad. She can have two favorites,” Julie teased. This exploded several loud chuckles from Zoe who had just made a new best friend.
“Ok, then. I see,” I said. Zoe was probably going to be a lawyer or a politician with that kind of wit.
I watched the two of them talk and hang out together for a while growing more impressed the whole time. The way that Zoe and Julie just clicked was remarkable. Julie truly had a wonderful way with kids.
Soon, it was time to end the playdate and as Julie was starting to leave, she said goodbye to Zoe and then the two of us stepped outside for a moment. “That was really great,” I said.
“Oh, she is so sweet,” Julie replied.
“You handled her really well,” I said. “She usually doesn’t warm up to people that quickly, but she liked you right away. Now, I will warn you she has her moody days and some days where she just doesn’t want to talk to anybody, so don’t think it’s because of you.”
“Oh, I can see that. And I imagine at first, she will be very happy to have someone new around, but after that wears off she will start to close herself away to avoid getting attached. She will start to feel closer to me and that will scare her a bit, so I anticipate a bit of a rollercoaster the first few months. She will be bratty and try to push my buttons and test me. I’ve seen it all before. But she is great.”
I listened as she spoke and I found those words to be just the thing that made me realize how right I was to have selected Julie for this job.
“Wow, that is great,” I said. “You are very insightful. So, can you be here tomorrow at three?”
“I’ll do that,” she said.
I said goodbye to her and watched her get into her little car and drive away. As I walked back into the house, something about today really hit me. This was the first time in a while that I had not felt totally lonely and miserable. I had not been consciously thinking in some part of my mind about Amanda. I was enjoying connecting and talking to another person.
And it felt great. Julie was warm, she was sweet, and she was so kindhearted and compassionate. She had a great mothering vibe about her with Zoe, and she had that patience, a softness when she was talking with me. She was one of those people that you might feel comfortable telling your biggest, darkest secrets to right after you’d just met her. I loved that about her.
“I like Julie, Daddy. She’s really nice,” Zoe said when I sat down on the sofa.
“Yeah, she is. I like her too, pumpkin.”
I did like her. I’d only known her for about an hour, but in that time, she’d managed to put a spark inside of me that no one else could.
And that was exactly what scared me. I was getting those feelings again, and this time it was those romantic feelings for someone new. I wanted to pursue this so badly because it felt so good, but for several reasons it was best if I put those feelings away. I had to bury them out of sight and mind for a while. That was the right thing to do.
Zoe was going to have a great nanny, but that was where it ended for me. I couldn’t put myself out there again, not to that extent. Besides, she was nine years younger than me. I didn’t think that women her age wanted to date men in their mid-thirties, did they? Surely not.
But what if? What if I did go for it? Was I afraid of getting hurt? Yes. Was I afraid that Zoe might be hurt? Yes. So, for now I just had to keep myself together.
Chapter Four
Julie
“So, you got the job?” Tessa asked the second my foot came through the door of our apartment.
“Yes, I did!” I said. I couldn’t hide my excitement. I’d been so worried about everything and now this would put my mind to ease a bit. I really needed it. I didn’t realize exactly how stressed I’d been until I heard those words that I got the job.
“That’s fantastic!” Tessa said, giving me a hug.
“Thanks,” I said. “It is such a relief.”
“When do you start?”
“Tomorrow,” I replied.
“Well, what is he like?”
“Who?” I teased with a goofy grin.
