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I was a bit curious now. “Do you think there are people who are having relationships without anyone knowing?” I wondered if it was even possible with a unit that close.
She laughed. “Maybe, but I think it would be pretty hard. You can usually tell that sort of thing. People in that close of an environment who have those types of strong feelings for each other are very obvious. You can see the flirty glances, the occasional touch, and you hear about them being spotted different places together. It’s just not wise to try to game that system. But it’s fun as hell to fantasize about.”
“I guess,” I replied. “I imagine that would be difficult. Has this rule been in place long?”
She shrugged. “Ever since I’ve been with the department. So that’s five years now.”
I thought April looked younger than that, but I was a bit intrigued.
“So, I’m curious, what do your folks do? I mean, this place can’t be cheap to be a member of.”
“They are both doctors,” she said. “Boring.”
“So, I take it you never had the desire to follow in their footsteps?”
She laughed. “No. I grew up watching them both work eighty hours a week to pay for the ridiculous house we had and the nice cars. They have always been the types to enjoy that type of lifestyle, but I got bored with it quickly. Besides, I would be bored to tears working in some stuffy job like that. I’ve always been an adrenaline junky. I love extreme sports, and I always gravitated towards fun, physical types of jobs. School was never really my thing.”
“Did your parents ever give you a hard time about it and try to force you to get an education and all that?”
“Sure, they did,” she said. “But they know me and they learned early on that I’m going to march to the beat of my own drummer.”
“That’s cool,” I said. “I admire that you stuck to your guns and went the path you wanted to go down.”
“That’s the way you do it,” she replied. “You can’t live according to other people’s plans. By the way, you never answered my question.”
“Which one?”
“Who do you like? What guy is tickling your fancy?”
I smiled. “Well, I did have a bit of a connection with Gary. I mean, it’s probably nothing, but I think he is interesting.’
April’s demeanor changed suddenly. Her face grew a bit cold and she shifted her body language as she took a big drink. She sat up straighter and looked deeply into my eyes. “Now, it’s a good thing we have this rule in place, because a guy like Gary is guaranteed to lead any woman to heartbreak.”
“Really? Why do you say that?”
“Let’s just say, he has a lot of baggage going on. I mean, he is a veteran on the team, and he generally gets along well with everybody, but there are a lot of rumors going on that he is just not the type of guy you want to date. He is very much into himself, his space, and even though he has a lot of friends on the crew, I don’t think anyone can say that they actually know the man. He is really off in his own world, and he wants to stay that way.”
I was taken aback. April really did seem to know a lot about Gary. Her words hit home, mostly because they described myself in a lot of ways. Gary wanted to be alone. There was nothing wrong with that, but he was still nice and sociable. He had friends in the company and I’d witnessed this myself. He was likeable and very well respected.
I couldn’t help but feel that maybe, April had a thing for Gary and didn’t like the idea of someone else, especially the new girl, encroaching on her turf, even though she wasn’t going to do anything about her feelings due to the strict company policy.
Something told me I did not want to get on April’s bad side, but someone should have told her that she definitely did not want to get on mine.
“I see,” I said. “Well, it’s just a feeling I had. He is a great looking guy, right? And of course I would never dream of going against the company policy to ask him out or anything.”
“Yeah, that’s good. Being the new girl especially, they are going to have you under a bit of a microscope, to make sure you toe the line.”
April laughed. The tension was easing a bit, but I couldn’t get over the fact that she had gotten so mad about that. It was actual anger; that was what bothered me so much. Did she and Gary have some sort of history together? Maybe there was more going on there then I really was aware of. For now, I would just play it safe and stay under the radar, but April’s plan had backfired. If she wanted me to forget about Gary, I was now more intrigued about him than ever.
We finished our drinks and then parted ways. When I got home, I pulled up my laptop and did a bit of snooping. I checked Gary out online, just trying to see what I might be able to dig up about him, but of course I only found the typical stuff. Most of what I knew about him was on social media, something I did not do much with. Ever since I lost Edward, I had no real reason to share anything about myself with the world. Most of what I would share would probably just bring others down, but I knew I was getting better. Little by little, I was starting to heal. The fond memories were outweighing the thought that I would never get to see him again.
I finished my search by pulling up a few photos of Gary. He was such a great looking guy and there was a warmth behind his eyes that I gravitated to. And as I searched more deeply there, I could see the pain that he felt. I could feel that there was more to him, something he kept closed off from the world. I might have been wrong, but this was something I could identify with. I wanted to believe that we were kindred spirits and that was why I had this weird connection with him, though we’d talked just briefly.
I believed it was the physical contact that really helped to solidify this attraction between the two of us. That was it. That’s what it was.
But was it all one sided? Did he feel this with me at all? Or was I just fooling myself? Maybe April was right and he had no intention of ever letting anyone into his inner circle.
I wasn’t sure why I kept thinking so much about him, but since that first day when I’d demonstrated the lesson with him, I’d felt so close to him that I couldn’t let it go. I wanted him with me. I wanted to feel him close to me.
