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As I drove that long drive back to Cincinnati, I made the decision that was sure to change my life forever. I didn’t want to wait a week just to be told that I had not made the team. Would they even contact me to tell me that? Or did they only contact the ones chosen? They really were not clear on that. Ugh, it was all driving me nuts. My anxiety about everything was at an all-time high.
I wiped my eyes and tried to stop crying. I had to compose myself. After a moment, I started to dial Lance on the phone. Then I quickly ended it. I couldn’t do it yet. I was not ready to make that decision and to throw in the towel on everything else.
But God, I was at my breaking point. What in the hell was I going to do?
Chapter Fifteen
Lance
I called Kat about noon that day. I’d been up half the night thinking about her and wishing she was with me. She said she had something very important she was taking care of and she would not be available for a while. She had to go out of town for something, a new career opportunity perhaps?
I wondered if it had anything to do with the softball tryouts. She was damn good from what I’d seen of her playing, and I wished her the best of luck. But there was still a part of me that hoped it did not pan out because that would make her much less likely to accept my offer. Then I would be back to square one on this. I hated thinking that way. I cared about Kat and I wanted her to be happy. Yet, there I was wishing that she didn’t get her dream opportunity. That made me feel like a real asshole, but that was how I felt. I needed her to come on board with this.
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I needed her to come on board, because I was madly in love with her. I couldn’t fathom my life without her. She was amazing. I needed her so badly in my world. I wanted to be married to her. I never could have even entertained the idea that I would get married to anybody, but here I was.
Kat would probably be home by now from her travels. I hoped things had worked out for her and that she was happy. Her happiness meant a lot to me. I wanted that more than anything, even if I did have some incredibly selfish thoughts from time to time. I was a work in progress; this whole thing had completely thrown me for a loop.
I sighed as I picked up my phone and made that phone call to her. When she answered, she sounded a bit groggy. It was about noon, so I was surprised I’d woken her up. “Hey, how’s it going?” I asked.
“Good…how are you?” she replied.
“Did I wake you?”
“Yeah, but I’m glad you did. What time is it? Oh, shit… I didn’t want to sleep this late.”
“I guess you must have needed the rest then,” I said.
“Yeah.”
“How was your trip? Did you take care of everything you needed to get done?”
“Oh, yeah… it was good. I’ll see if things pan out or not.”
She still wasn’t volunteering the information of what she was actually doing there.
“Ok,” I said. “Well, what are your plans tonight? I was hoping you’d want to come over. Maybe we can kick it casual and order a pizza. You sound like you aren’t up for going out anywhere.” I chuckled a bit nervously. I wasn’t sure why.
“Yeah, that’s fine. What time?”
“Six or so,” I replied. “Whenever is fine.”
“Ok, I’ll see you then.”
I ended the call and shook my head. That all sounded so awkward. I tried not to think too much into it. She was half asleep. Hell, I hoped she remembered the conversation. I really wanted to see her, and wanted to talk to her more about the proposition. I was going nuts not knowing if this was going to work or not.
I put my phone away and went into the gym to get a good workout in. I needed to work up a good sweat. This would help clear my mind a bit …I could hardly wait to be with Kat again. When I woke up in the morning and she was not beside me, it pulled at my heart and made me realize how much I missed and cared for her. She was the angel in my life and though I’d never realized it before, I really needed that.
That night Kat arrived promptly at six. She looked amazing, even though she was wearing just a sexy blouse and a pair of snug jeans. We were both dressed pretty casual for an evening at home. If she’d suggested going somewhere, I would have been totally down for it, but I could see on her face that she was a bit tired. I’d made the right call. Besides, it just felt like a pizza and beer type of night.
We settled in and an hour later we had our pizza delivered and were both about three beers into the case. I was impressed with her ability to match me beer for beer. I didn’t often drink beer because it was too carb loaded and made me bloat, but every now and then you had to live a little bit. And I hop
ed that we were celebrating something.
It was still an awkward thing to bring up, so I decided to ease into it. “So, how was yesterday? Are you allowed to talk about it?”
She laughed. “Of course.”
I smiled back. “Well, it just sounded like something you either wanted to keep a bit secret or you were being told to…”
