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“And I do. What does a piece of paper have to do with any of that?”
“It’s more than that for me,” Kat said. “Getting married is about declaring your love to the world. It is about a union between two people in front of the people they hold dearest. It’s about creating special bond that can’t be unchanged.”
“Oh, but it can. I’ve seen perfectly happy couples get ruined by just getting married. It changes things. I don’t want things to change.”
She sighed. “Well, I guess that settles it then.”
“Settles what? What is that supposed to mean? Are you breaking up with me?”
“Well, if there is no future for us, then what are we doing here?”
“So, if we don’t get married then it’s over?” I asked. “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not going to be forced into getting married.”
“Not unless there is money in it for you anyway,” Kat said. She instantly grimaced as she said it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
“But you are thinking it. I’m sorry that you feel that way.”
I drove back to my place. Kat packed her things, and I put her on a plane back to Cleveland. I hated that we parted on some bad terms with an argument. I missed her so much already, but I did not want to get married. I was too against it. The title of marriage being held over everything was going to make me go insane. That wouldn’t have been right for us.
I didn’t want that for us at all. I just wanted her. And I knew she wanted me. Why wasn’t that enough?
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kat
(Two Weeks Later)
I caught the line drive headed straight for my head without even thinking about it. The play was pure reflex, total instinct. I threw the pitch, a hanging breaking ball with some speed taken off it, and the ball was right in the strike zone. The batter nailed it and the moment it took off from the bat, I knew it was headed straight at my head.
My glove shot up faster than I realized I could even move and caught the ball a nanosecond before it crushed my face in, particularly the nose area. I would have had a broken nose, and a few other fractures to the bones that gave structure to my face if I’d missed it. That was why some of the women wore cages, but I was confident that I wouldn’t need one if I did my job correctly. I’d messed up and the breaking ball did not work. That was my fault.
It was the last play of the game. My teammates all ran over to congratulate me. All except for Julie, who was kicked off the team, and was out on bail awaiting prosecution for her antics against me. That bitch was going to pay big time. Her family was loaded. They tried to buy me off of course, but my pride wouldn’t let me take her money. That only would have made me look weak, and like I was admitting some of the things on that video were in some way my fault. No way. I was making ok money. And there were rumors that I might be up for an endorsement deal soon. That would bring in some cash for sure.
I was fine. I was finally in a good place. All except for my love life. It had been two weeks and I
had not heard a word from Lance. I’d pissed him off. And that was my fault. I had said some very unkind things to him in the heat of the moment. I was hurt that after everything we’d been through that he was not willing to marry me. He said he loved me. I said I loved him. We’d proven to each other how much we meant to one another. What was the damn deal? He was terrified of marriage. The institution of marriage… it had scarred him somehow. He was a product of his environment. His parents had raised him in a profoundly dysfunctional way. And in some ways, I thought that was a good thing because he’d turned out so wonderful in so many ways, but in this one area he refused to give in and face that fear.
I would never want to force him to marry, but I did hope that he would change his mind some way.
I went home and took a hot shower, ignoring the temptation to go to the bar and get some drinks with the girls. I was still a bit pissed at some of them for not stopping Julie with that stupid video and the drugging. They knew she did it, though they claimed that they knew nothing about the roofies. The plan was just to get me very hammered. I called bullshit. But it didn’t matter. Seeing what was happening to Julie was enough to deter them from ever trying to mess with me again.
After the shower, I climbed into bed and read for a while. It was early and I was dead tired. We had to go on the road the day after tomorrow and we had practice most of the day tomorrow, so I needed my sleep. I didn’t even get past the first page of the new Nora Roberts novel I was delving into before I passed out asleep.
The next morning, I woke up to my alarm screaming. I shut it off and realized that something else was screaming and it was coming from inside my stomach. I was about to hurl.
I covered my mouth, leapt out of bed, and ran to the toilet just in time to spew the contents of last night’s frozen burrito dinner out of my mouth.
I was getting worried. This was going on a week and a half of throwing up first thing in the morning. What was wrong with me? I had an idea and it was starting to scare the hell out of me. But I’d put it off long enough. I had to find out the truth.
After my stomach settled down, I pulled the home pregnancy test from my bathroom closet. I’d picked it up from the drug store a few days ago and been too afraid to take it until right now. But enough was enough. I had to do it. I’d waited long enough.
I read the instructions, took the test, and then waited for several minutes until it was ready to show the results. I couldn’t believe it. It was positive. I was pregnant. I was … pregnant?
I held my hands over my mouth gasping in terror. I… how could this be happening right now? Shit… why weren’t we careful? I just didn’t think it would happen. I wanted Lance so badly that I didn’t dare think about such a thing. And now it was, a thing… what was I going to do?
First, I’d have to tell Lance. Then I’d have to tell my coach. We were only halfway through the season. I had a lot of games left to pitch in. But I couldn’t play pregnant, there were too many risks.
My life was about to change significantly. I was scared. But I took a deep breath. I tried to imagine my mother there with me. What would she tell me to do?
