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I should have said I would marry her. I didn’t want to be married. It was against everything I stood for, but would I ever be happy without Kat in my life? I really didn’t think so. Would I be willing to put aside that principle, something that was so important for me for the woman I loved?
Yes, I had to. I couldn’t live this way.
I left the party early, feeling like crap. I had to talk to Kat.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
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sp; Kat
I was nervous as hell when I walked into the doctor’s office. I was shocked they’d agreed to see me on such short notice. I was a new patient after all, but after explaining everything to them about my predicament they told me to come on in since they’d just had a cancellation.
After waiting in the waiting room for about ten minutes, the nurse called me back. She quickly took my vitals and began a new chart for me. A technician took some blood after that and then she went to have it tested in the lab. I was surprised when she said the test would not take that long. I always thought it took days. Then she said the doctor would be in within a few minutes. And now, I was alone in the room.
The walls seemed to be closing in on me. I was feeling anxious and stressed to the max. What was happening to me? I was scared as I could be, that’s what. I had no idea what I was going to do. If I was out of work for over a year with carrying the baby to term delivering, healing and everything else that went along with becoming a new mother, I wasn’t sure I’d be asked to come back to play. I also did not have enough money saved to support myself for a year, much less adding a baby to the mix. I was starting to wish I’d taken that offer with the Julie situation. Maybe it wasn’t too late…
The doctor came in just then. He was a middle-aged man with a bald head and an overflowing belly, but he looked nice enough. He looked as if he’d been doing this job for far too long. “I’m Doctor Ryan,” he said introducing himself to me.
I shook his hand and then I watched patiently while he went over my chart. He was taking his good time looking over things, occasionally pausing to ask me some questions about the new patient information forms I’d filled out in the lobby when I had first arrived.
“No history of diabetes in the family?” Dr. Ryan asked.
“No,” I replied.
He continued to scan. “No history of epilepsy or blood disorders either?”
“No, nothing,” I replied.
“Ok, let’s take a look at you here,” the Doctor said. He did a cursory exam looking in my eyes, my nose, my ears, my throat, checking my lymph nodes, and finally listening to my heart and lungs. “Ok, everything sounds fine there,” he said draping the stethoscope around his neck.
“Ok, what about my results?” I asked nervously.
“Well, we looked over the results and it looks like you are pregnant,” he replied with a smiled.
He must have noticed the look of terror on my face because he slowly wiped that expression off his face. I tried not to cry, but the tears began to sting my eyes almost instantly. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Why now? Why? Shit. What was I going to do?
“I take it this was not a planned pregnancy?” Dr. Ryan asked.
“No, it was not,” I said.
“Well, that does happen. I’m going to tell you, what I tell all my patients in your situation. I don’t believe in mistakes. I believe in wakeup calls. Sometimes the universe makes colossal changes to the program in our lives to jar us into taking swift action to reevaluate things and make some necessary changes. But often those wake-up calls are the biggest blessings in our lives.”
“Right,” I said. “I totally believe that. Thanks.”
When I was finished at the doctor’s office, I found I felt a bit stronger, but I still wasn’t sure what to do. Should I tell Lance? I’m sure he would want to know about this, and he deserved to, but at the same time I was afraid he would want to marry me.
“Well, isn’t that what you want?” Kayley asked me when I called her and told her everything. She said this after screaming in my ear for ten minutes about how happy she was for me.
I loved that girl.
“Yes. I want Lance to marry me, but only if he wants to. I don’t want him to feel forced to because I’m pregnant.”
“You think he would? If he is against marriage that much, then I don’t see why he would think this was different.”
I sighed. “I know him too well. This to him would only make sense. He has some old school foundations in him. He would absolutely want to marry me just because of the baby.”
“Well, that might not be a bad thing. You wouldn’t have to worry about finances for you or the baby. I know you would never use the situation for money, but here it is, and it might just be the best way to go, you know? You have to think about what is best for the baby now and not just what satisfies your own ego.”
