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Boyce
I looked up in shock as she told me that she heard me at night. Sweet Vivian told me that she touched herself to the sound of me with other women and I stared at her as she stammered and blushed. I refused to see her in this light and pushed the words out of my head. “I won’t bring anyone home anymore. I have an apartment down here I’ll take them to.”
“That’s where you sleep when Bella is at friends for the night. I wondered why you didn’t come home at night.” Vivian murmured as I sipped my tea. I needed a fucking whiskey with this conversation.
“It’s easier when I work late sometimes, Vivian. I know you’re safe there, both of you. I had a state-of-the-art alarm system put in when I lost…Nora. I can look at the house anytime I need to, and I would get an alert of anything happened. I set it up that way to keep you safe and now I think it’s staying away from you.” I lifted my eyes to look at her and she was staring back at me with wide eyes. “I never meant for this to happen.”
“Nothing has happened,” she insisted, and I shook my head.
“It won’t happen. We will never happen.” I was firm as she jerked back and nodded. I knew that by saying that I was sending her into the army of kids at her school, boys that would hurt her. I knew that I was giving Vivian up but there were so many red flags in this situation. Even if she was going to be eighteen in six months due to staying back in school when her parents passed away, I could not touch her the way I wanted to.
The waitress brought our plates just then and set them down, ending the conversation as Vivian tucked a strand of silky hair behind her ear. Once we were alone again, I watched her push the food around her plate as she took a few small bites. I ate half of my dinner and asked for boxes for the rest as Vivian pushed her plate away. We walked to the car quietly and I drove us home as she shrank against the door for the several minutes that the commute took us. I didn’t know what to say and she seemed like she was feeling awkward as well.
I pulled into the driveway and parked in the garage before she jumped out of the car. “Do you need me at the office tomorrow?” Vivian asked as I nodded, looking at me with stricken eyes before she went inside. I took the food into the house, noting that Bella was home for the night. I put the food away and poured myself the whiskey that I’d been craving all day, shooting it back with a jerk of my neck. I hadn’t turned to alcohol since Nora’s death and even then, I kept it in control. I poured another glass and took it to my room and out to the balcony, sipping it slowly. “Dad? Are you okay?” Bella’s voice carried through the open doors and I glanced at her. She looked so much like Nora and even more guilt flooded my mind.
“Fine. Why?” I asked as she stepped out and looked at the sky.
“Vivian seems like she’s in a bad mood, too. I think she’d fighting with her flavor of the month but who knows?” Bella leaned against the railing and looked out. “Is everything all right at the office?”
“It’s great, Bell. Just a long day. How are you?” I barely saw my only daughter these days and I tried not to think about her enticing best friend downstairs.
“I’m so good, Dad. The play is going great and I think I brought my grades to all B’s. I want to go to Juilliard so bad.” She smiled at me and I nodded as I reached out and touched her hair. Bella was a year younger than Vivian was and I tried not to notice the difference between the girls.
“I know, sweetheart. You deserve that.” I assured her as she hugged me. “Your mom would be so proud of you.”
“I wish I could tell her about this. I wish she could see it. I think that Viv needs her sometimes, too. She lost both of her parents.” I was reminded of the harsh truth as my daughter spoke. I was Vivian’s caretaker because my best friend died with his wife.
“Just be there for her as much as you can. You girls are growing up so fast now and everything is going to happen so fast.” I felt the sadness at being alone here kicking in and wondered what parent looked forward to that. They made me worry more than I ever thought I’d have to, but it was good to see them turning into women. I knew that a lot of that was my fault with the feelings that I was fighting for Vivian.
“I don’t think she’s going to move for college. How can I be there for her?” Bella asked sadly as I smiled.
“She has the opportunity to go wherever she wants. We’ll see what happens,” I hugged her before Bella pulled away and gave me a soft smile.
“Good night. I love you, Dad.” I told her that I loved her as well as I felt like a pervert for wanting her friend. I finished my drink and brought the glass inside, setting it down on the table. I stepped into the bathroom to shower, reaching down to grip my cock as I moved under the hot water. I closed my eyes and imagined Vivian in bed, touching herself as I fucked a woman upstairs. She was so pale, and I imagined her nipples to be a dark pink and tightened my hand. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” I murmured as I imagined her full tits and fingers touching that sweet clit. I cried out as I jerked forward, coming hard. It probably felt better than any woman since Nora and I let out a groan at the thought of my wife. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
I finished the shower and dressed in some shorts before dropping onto my bed. I felt guilty for jacking off, but I was a man and I needed to work Vivian out of my system somehow. I turned on the television and checked my phone to make sure that everyone was set for the night before setting the alarm.
I noticed that I only saw Vivian at the office and at dinner sometimes. She was always out, and I assumed that she was with friends or boyfriends. She was civil to me at first and then we fell into a pattern of conversing a little more as I pretended that the night at the restaurant ever happened. The holidays came and went with the usual family coming over and I noted that neither of the girls invited anyone. They just chatted with the cousins and Vivian stayed as far away from me as she could.
It seemed like minutes passed and they were starting their Senior year. I’d explained that they could go to any school they chose to without any concerns of money before the year started and could reach for their dreams and I looked at Vivian for a long moment across the dinner table, knowing that was what her parents planned for her. She nodded, and Bella mentioned that she was going to try to audition for Juilliard as soon as possible. Vivian didn’t say much, excusing herself to go to her room as I watched her for a fleeting second. “Do you know her plans?” I asked Bella as she shrugged.
“I think she’s going to stay local. She mentioned that she really liked working in your office.” Bella never wanted to work downtown with me and I saw her frown. “I know you do well with it, Dad. You love it but it’s hard for me to picture Vivian doing something like that. She was always so into art when we were younger.”
I remembered that and thought back fondly to Vivian’s paintings and drawings. That seemed to stop after the accident and I sipped my coffee as I mulled that over. “Perhaps she enjoys the more technical aspect of things now. It’s still art, Bella.”
I cleaned up the table with her and set the dishes in the washer before shutting off the lights and going upstairs. The alarm was set for the windows and doors, but everyone knew the code if they went anywhere. I dropped to my bed and powered on my laptop to try to get some work done tonight, my mind heavy with thoughts. In months, they would be graduating and moving on with their lives. I’d be alone, and I
went into my work email as I sighed. I didn’t think that it would feel like this.
CHAPTER 6
Vivian
I pretended that I was enjoying my last year in high school. I dated a few guys, but nothing serious. I just needed a man to fill the void that filled me once I knew that Boyce wanted me as much as I did him. I knew that he did and wouldn’t do anything about it, leaving me feeling empty.
Bella kept on as she had been, performing a lot and getting her audition to Juilliard. I went with her to the audition, sneaking off to the side to watch her as she performed a heart-wrenching, emotional monologue from one of her favorite plays. I knew that she was in.
I opted for a degree in Graphic Design and wanted to stay around Maryland. There were a few colleges that would be easy to get into and I could live on my own for the first time in my life. It wasn’t like Boyce had strict rules once we were older and driving, but I was thinking more about an apartment. My parents left me plenty of money for that, so much so that I didn’t even need to go to college. I’d be fine.
