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“I don’t fucking care. I need you in my bed, Vivian. How can you walk away from that?” Boyce asked me as a tear slipped down my cheek. This was a mistake. I should have resisted him, and I wiped at my cheek.
“You think I want to? I wish this had never happened now.” I pushed myself from the bed and walked to the door, needing space.
“Viv? Where are you going?” Boyce called out to me as I cried walking down the stairs to my room. I walked in and locked the door before I pulled on a robe and crawled into my own bed. I cried as I thought back to every touch and kiss as I curled up into a fetal position, knowing that I could never take tonight back. We’d crossed the line.
I dozed for a while before waking up with a stare, looking around my room. There was still packing to do, and I stood on weak legs and took a deep breath. I pulled the boxes down from the pile and packed clothes and the things from my bathroom that I didn’t need in the morning. I worked quietly, letting images of being with Boyce flash through my mind periodically. I knew that it was useless to fight them, and I cried as I packed.
This was a forbidden relationship in anyone’s eyes. I couldn’t tell a single person about it, much less the friend that I shared everything with. I wondered how I was going to get through the phone conversations with her and the holidays in a few months. We would need to hide that this happened from Bella and the family. I finished the last box in the bathroom and leaned back against the wall, taking a deep breath. My body was still aching from the rough sex and I reached under the robe and stroked my clit slowly as I bit my lip. How could I use this memory and touch myself like this? I felt like I was possessed with need and found the moisture, smearing it around as I closed my eyes. I made myself come again, feeling the need for Boyce filling me as I moaned softly, standing up to go get some water from the the fridge.
The house was quiet as I walked to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. I assumed that Boyce was still upstairs and looked at the stairs as I paused before returning to my room. I wanted to go up there and crawl into his arms and I found my feet moving up towards his door, tapping gently on it as I waited for him to speak.
“Vivian?” Boyce asked as I assured him that it was me. I opened the door and walked inside, closing it behind me. He stared at me as I walked around to the other side of the bed, setting my water down and crawling in beside him. “Are you okay?”
“I need to go to the apartment and school, Boyce. I think that we need to give this time because it might not be what we both think it is. It might be just the once and then your life will really begin.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “It might just be sex that we were never supposed to have, the kind that you can’t prevent.”
“It’s more than that. The way that it’s been building between us is so much more than that.” Boyce told me as he turned to me and looked at me in the dim light of his lamp. He reached over to me to loosen the tie of my robe, opening it as he stroked my body. I watched as he stroked his fingers over my nipple, seeing it harden under his touch. I wasn’t about to stop this even with all my doubts because I needed it. Boyce teased my nipples before he moved his hand down to stroke my sensitive clit, finding me wet from my recent release. “Still?” He asked as I smiled weakly and looked at him.
“I don’t think it will ever stop,” I admitted as he slipped a finger inside of me and made me groan. “I don’t know how we’re going to do this, Boyce. I need to see the college thing through but I’m not that far. We can see each other or something if it leads to that.”
“It will.” Boyce assured me as he kept stroking me, adding a finger after a few minutes. I came for him, groaning his name. I turned to face him, crawling over his body to find his mouth with mine as I pressed down against his cock. Boyce pulled my face closer and deepened the kiss as I slipped back and forth over him, enjoying that friction. “I get tested regularly and I’m clean. I don’t fuck without a condom normally, but I want to with you. Are you on anything to prevent pregnancy?”
“I am. I have been for a few years,” I replied as I lifted my body and found him with my hand. I slid down over him and groaned as he filled me again. I knew that we were pushing the limits with this, but it felt so good as I rocked against him. I rode him, adjusting the angles of my body until I was coming for him. I felt my warmth wash over him and as he arched up inside of me, I felt his heat fill me as he cried out my name, his hands tight on my hips as I felt the bruises forming on my skin.
I collapsed next to him and he pulled me into his arms, knowing that I wasn’t going to move for several hours. I could go to the apartment tomorrow or even the next day at the latest and be in class in time. I knew that it was prolonging the inevitable but being here in his arms was the best feeling I could ever have.
I ignored my phone for the next couple of days, not wanting to have to answer to Bella. She wanted to know details of an apartment that I hadn’t been in yet. I didn’t know what to say because I was too busy fucking her father in his bed.
I left two mornings later, sore, and tired and lacking sleep. I could not put it off any longer and I turned up the radio as I glanced back at the house. Boyce stood outside and watched me leave, his face serious with pain as I tried to smile. I knew that we’d done more than just sleep together over the last few days, but I needed to take this space and sort through my racing thoughts.
I looked forward and pulled out to the main road, thinking about the one-bedroom apartment that was waiting for me. I had my car loaded with boxes and there was going to be furniture delivered tomorrow. I had classes in three days and I was preparing for a whole new life, or was I?
Once I arrived at the apartment and unloaded my boxes, I sent Bella a text telling her that I was sorry I’d been off the radar. I explained that I was busy settling in and adjusting as I asked how she was doing.
The text turned into a phone call and we chatted about our new places. Bella was obviously more excited about hers as she chatted about the city and her little apartment that was perfectly centered in the middle of it all. Bella told me about the people and the school and how in love with everything she was. When she asked me about my apartment, I told her that it was great as I looked around at the boxes. I made up a lie about the furniture delivery being delayed and that I’d been in a sleeping bag for the last couple of nights, and she expressed her horror at the idea. I laughed it off and told her that it was fine. It was my place and in just a little while, it would be perfect. When I hung up, I only hoped that it was true.
I unpacked through the night and piled a bunch of pillows on the floor with a blanket. I missed Boyce right now and if it wasn’t late and he was an hour away, I’d go ther
e. I had to give this a chance though. Boyce might be a passing fling at best and somehow, I’d need to move on from that.
I slept fitfully that night and woke up sore in the morning. If the furniture delivery hadn’t been scheduled early, I would have stayed in the bay for another night. I rose and looked around at the boxes that were unpacked and folded neatly by the door while the other ones were piled out of the way of the delivery men. I glanced at my phone and saw that I had time to run for coffee before they arrived. I dressed in some jeans and a sweater that was folded up in the bathroom and slipped my feet into the worn converse by the front door.
I left the complex and walked down the street since there was a strip mall just a few blocks away. I glanced around at the cute little town, seeing other college students in groups and laughing together. I felt like I was such a world away from that doing what I was doing with Boyce, keeping it secret from the world.
I stepped into a corner coffee shop and ordered a large cinnamon mocha and a muffin, taking the bag and cup with a smile as I thanked the girl behind the counter. I walked towards the door and noticed a guy leaning near a table as he looked me over. He was my age if not a couple of years older and handsome if I wasn’t already with an older man. I looked away and made my way out of the front door and to my apartment, so I could arrange my new home.
That night, I slept in a bed with new sheets and bedding. My room overlooked the campus in the distance and it was beautiful but lonely. I reached for my phone and sent Boyce a text, knowing that I was opening a can of worms.
CHAPTER 9
Boyce
The house was too fucking empty. I went to work an hour after Vivian drove away and stayed there late. I didn’t want to feel my big bed by myself after being with Vivian for the last few days. I wanted her in it, spread open for me so I could take her again. She was in another city now and I missed her as I stared at my computer. I had some take out pushed back and my stomach hurt from the bad quality of the quick choice.
I glanced out at the dark sky and ran a hand through my hair. I decided to stay at the apartment tonight since I had enough clothes there to get by as well as food. I cleared the screen and powered down the computer before I bagged the Styrofoam container and tossed it into the trash.
Had it only been two days since she left? I walked out of my office and turned off the light, noting that the dim office was empty. I strolled through it and took the elevator down to the parking garage, walking to my car as I tried to push away the thought of an empty bed. I drove to the apartment and parked before going to the fifteenth floor and unlocking the door. I was just setting my briefcase down when I heard my phone chime, frowning as I pulled it out of my jacket pocket.
Vivian: Hey, handsome.
