AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Hey, boss.” Hank looks shocked to see me. “You’re in early, is there anything wrong?”
“Oh no, no not really.” I shake my head and wonder why I didn’t plan what I was going to say earlier. “It’s not that at all. It’s just… well the project is almost finished now and I have something that I need to get back home for. Do you think you can get the last few things done without me?”
Hank gives me an apologetic look, it’s almost like he can see that everything has fallen apart with my love life. I want to hold my head high and to give him a defiant look, but I can’t. My eyes fall downwards and I look at my feet instead.
“Sure, boss, me and Archie can take control of everything. I don’t think it’ll be more than an extra week anyway. Probably a lot less. I can keep you updated via email if that’s what you want?”
“Perfect. Thank you.”
“And, erm… what about the other project?” It takes me a few moments to realize what he’s talking about, but when I remember the lake, recognition flickers across my face. “After our little chat yesterday, we started it. We’re just going to get it as close to how it once was… if that’s what you still want.”
Maybe that’s a good idea. It’ll give Lola somewhere to go if she wants to remember me and her in a positive light. What we had on that day when we went to the lake was magical, made even better by the fact that she opened up to me in the most incredible way. She revealed parts of herself to me that I don’t know if many other people will get.
I would like to think of her standing there, when times get tough, just remembering.
“Yes,” I rasp back. “Please carry on with it. Like I said I will pay you well.”
“Okay, that’s great, boss. Will do.”
Once we’ve embraced and said our goodbyes, I hop back into the car with all kinds of thoughts racing through my mind. I’m hoping that the nearer I get to the city, the clearer my brain will become. The positive for me is that I can get some separation from all of this. I can go away and back to my real life. I hope Lola somehow manages to overcome it well. Somehow.
I can’t look back now, I just have to go. I’ve made my bed and I need to just lie in it.
Chapter 15 – Lola
“How are you doing, sweetheart?” my dad asks me with sympathy in his eyes. He reaches out to touch my arm as he gazes at me. “You look a bit… I don’t know, sad.”
“I’m fine,” I lie, despite the fact that I’ve been really sad for over a week now. I don’t want to upset him since he’s still quite frail. “How are you doing?”
“Oh you know me.” He smiles through the pain. “I’m used to it, I’ll keep on going.” He cocks his head and examines me closely. “But what’s going on with you? I know that you’ve just said nothing but I really don’t believe you. I know you better than that.”
I can’t even make myself smile. I know I probably should, to reassure him, but I’m too physically and emotionally exhausted to fake it. “I’ll be fine too. I’m resilient like you.”
I move into the kitchen to make a hot drink for me and Dad. I feel like we both could use some caffeine right now. I flick it on and watch it boil, all while my mind is reeling at a million miles an hour. At the moment, I’m the lowest that I’ve ever been. I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy again. To anyone else, that might sound dramatic but to me it feels impossible. Everywhere I look I see a reminder of the man I fell in love with, the man I offered myself to on a plate, and the man that I wasn’t good enough for. Even when we argued I didn’t mean what I said. I certainly didn’t think he’d skip town without saying goodbye.
No, I think as a tear streams down my cheek. I can’t think about him now. He’s gone and it’s just me and Dad left. I have to be here for him.
I take a deep sigh once the drinks are made and I try to keep some strength in myself. Then I finally brave, heading back into the living room to face my perceptive father again.
“I have a coffee for you here.” I put it down in front of him but he doesn’t immediately take it. “I hope that’s okay for you? I can make tea if you’d prefer.”
“No, no, coffee is fine.” He stares at me intently as if he’s trying to read me. I shift uncomfortably under his gaze. “Lola, can I ask you something?”
No, please don’t! Leave me alone, leave me to my misery, I think as I take a big sip of my drink. “Sure,” I say aloud.
“What happened to the long distance man?”
Oh God. My heart falls. I can feel the tears burning behind my eyes once more. I have spent far too long crying over this man, I don’t want to do it again. “He’s gone,” I rasp thickly. I want that to be the end of it, but of course it isn’t.
“Gone where?” Dad leans forward as if he wants to get closer to me.
“He’s gone home. He went back to the city and that’s the end of it.”
“How do you know that’s the end? Like I said, me and your mother managed to make it work. It wasn’t easy, but we did it.”
The tears fall, I can’t stop them anymore. “The difference is that you both wanted it to happen.” I brush the wetness away angrily. “I can’t change the way he feels so that’s that.”
It is what it is… urgh, I hate that God damn saying.
