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“I can pay for better.” His words stun me to the core although I’m not sure why. This is exactly the sort of thing that Brandon does. I don’t want to get suc
ked in a second time thought because it doesn’t mean he cares. Even his words don’t. He didn’t ever say anything quite so intense the last time we spent time together, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to instantly trust him now. “I can pay for the best of the best, really get him some help.”
“No I don’t think…” I try to stop him in his tracks, but Brandon’s on a roll.
“Oh I wouldn’t be doing it for you, I’d be doing it for him. He’s a great guy who’s always been good to me and I’d like to do this for him. I’ll get him the best treatment with a private room and I’ll put you up in a hotel nearby.” He holds up his hand to stop me from talking. “I know that you’re already ready to shut me down, but before you do I just want you to think about it. If you say no, it’ll be selfish. It isn’t really your future you are playing with. Don’t you think your dad would like to have something like a quality of life back again?”
“You can’t do that to me,” I exclaim. “That isn’t fair. He’s so proud that he’d probably say no anyway. I don’t know if he’d want to take your money. And we’re fine here. We’re quite settled in the motel to be honest.”
Brandon leans forwards in his chair and he smirks at me. “That’s why you have to be the one who says yes. It’s up to you to give him that chance. Then we can just not tell him what’s really going on. And if you’d rather stay here, just stay here.”
“I think he might notice…”
“Maybe, but it’ll be done then.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me. “Come on, you haven’t worked your ass off to get nowhere, have you?”
Damn it, it’s like he can see right through me. I think I had that exact thought myself. It would be so easy to cave to what he’s offering, to fall for it and let my dad have the best of the best, but then I’ll be stuck spending a lot of time with Brandon, and much as I’m managing to be strong now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep it up for an extended period of time. How is anyone supposed to continually resist such a hard pull? It just isn’t possible.
“I don’t know,” I eventually reply cautiously. “I feel like I already owe you enough. You might never have told me, but I know you paid the bill last time, and I’ve constantly felt guilty that I haven’t been able to pay you back.” Well, apart from the times when I wanted to kill him for being so heartless, but this isn’t the time to bring that up. “I don’t know if I want more hanging over my head.”
“I didn’t tell you because I don’t want you to pay me back. That was the whole point of that. I can afford it anyway, what’s the point of having all this money if I can’t do any good with it? This is how I want to spend what I’ve earned.”
He extends his hand for me to shake it, sealing the deal, but I don’t at first. I pause, I rack my brain for any logical reason why I shouldn’t do this, but I just can’t find any. None that aren’t selfish anyway. If I can’t spend a bit of time with this man who maybe isn’t quite the devil I remember him as, for the sake of my dad, then what sort of daughter am I?
“Fine.” I grab his hand and shake it once. “We’ll do this, but if I want to stop at any time, you have to respect my choice without asking questions.”
“I will.” His face breaks into a big, bright smile. “I can promise you that much.”
Just as I’m about to slide my hand away, he yanks me close to him. I fall against his body and allow him to embrace me for just a second. Electricity bursts through my body and all the old memories of him touching me everywhere and making me feel incredible, float to the surface. I slide my eyes closed and just remember, for only a second.
Who would have thought that this is where tonight would end? Me in Brandon Heath-Smith’s arms.
Honestly, if someone would have told me as much, I would have called them insane. Yet here I am, doing just that.
But soon I have to pull away, before I fully mold into him. This is complicated enough, I don’t want to make it a million times worse by adding my feelings back into the mix. Never again, I can’t let myself get hurt a second time. I’ll never survive it.
Chapter 22 – Brandon
God, it feels good to be doing something positive. It actually feels amazing. I feel more alive than I have been in a very long time. As I watch Lola walk with her father into the room of the doctor I’ve paid for them to see, there’s an intense warmth in my chest that I’ve never experienced before. I love it. I want to grab onto it and have more of it. It’s delicious.
“We’ll be back in a moment,” Lola calls out behind her, with a happiness shining in her eyes. She’s warming to me, which is wonderful. “Thank you, Brandon.”
“No worries,” I reply with a bright smile. “Take as long as you want.”
I sit back in my seat, thinking about how I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. Yes, I could be in the office, sitting behind my desk making important sounding decisions and impressing my father… but is that really what I want? I know now, more than ever before, that it doesn’t make me happy. Okay, so I might not know what does make me happy, but at least I’m one step closer.
Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
I roll my eyes and grab my cell phone out of my pocket and I make my way outside. I don’t know if answering a call is still taboo in surgeries anymore, but I just don’t want to risk it. I don’t want to wreck anything in here, not when it cost me a fortune to get such a rush appointment with this well renowned doctor.
“Hello?” I answer the moment I step outside. “Sandi, is everything okay?”
“Where are you?” she whines. “It’s hard for me to be your PA when you aren’t here.”
Urgh, she doesn’t care at all. She isn’t exactly hard worker of the century, this is more about her disappointment in me than anything else. I haven’t heard anything directly but the rumors suggest that she’s more than upset that I didn’t go to Franko’s party.
“I told you, I’m out this morning. I’ll be back this afternoon. There’s always plenty of paper work that needs filing. You can’t be that bored, can you?”
I can hear the irritating sound of her long fake nails banging against the desk. “Yes, I suppose so. What am I supposed to tell your father if he comes around?”
