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“Right I see,” I gulp. “So you’ve found something else to do? What’s that?”
His face lights up as he speaks, I can already see this means so much to him so I cling onto every single word that falls out of his mouth. “The thing is, I’m good at overseeing property development plans, but at the moment it doesn’t make me happy. I’ve found a way to change that.”
“You… have?”
“I have combined it with my other passion… helping people. Something that you and your dad have helped me to see.” I open my mouth to say something but I can’t get a word in edgeways because he’s already on a roll. “I want to create housing projects that actually help people. Affordable homes for the needy, adapted homes for the people who need it, rented homes for single mothers,, renovations for those who can’t afford it, that sort of thing. I sat up all night last night creating a business plan for it and I’ve already spoke to Hank and Archie this morning who want to be on board. Sure, it won’t make me much money, a lot of the time it might even cost me more than it makes, but I don’t need money. I have plenty, more than I need. I’m not in it for that. I want to make a difference.”
I can barely breathe, never mind speak. “Your dad?” I pant out breathlessly. The plan is incredible and so damn noble, but how will his father take it?
“Oh don’t worry about him. He knows, I told him this morning, and actually he’s okay with it. I’m sure he thinks that I’m making a mistake, but that’s okay. I don’t mind what he thinks. I know that I’m doing the right thing.” He bumps his hip into mine, making me stare up at him. “And the best thing is I can set up office wherever I want and I can travel wherever I need to go to do my work.”
Through my foggy mind, I think he might be telling me that if I want it we can be together. We don’t have to be long distance because somehow we can make it work. It’s what I want, so damn badly, but I can’t seem to find the right words. I’m just trying my best to digest this shock at the moment.
“That’s wonderful,” I finally manage to tell him. “I’m so happy for you. You deserve this very much.”
He envelops me in his arms and presses me up against his chest so I can hear his racing heart. I close my eyes to block out the noise and the sights of the city because I only want to feel him. Somehow, I just know that this is it. Our make or break moment. For good this time. I just wonder which way it will turn out…
Chapter 28 – Brandon
I spend the next few days throwing myself into my new business venture. As I do it with all my heart and soul it doesn’t feel like work. Even the stressful bits aren’t hard to do because I’m so damn desperate to get things done. I love it. Every day I realize more and more this is just what I want to do. This is me. Finally I feel like myself.
As I bang on the door to the motel room which has almost become like a second home to me, I’m bursting with things that I want to tell Lola… but all of them fall apart on my lips as the door swings open and I see what’s going on inside.
“Are you packing?” I ask while peering behind Lola. The mess that’s been all over the floor is long gone now and already I miss it. “What’s going on? Are you moving hotel?”
“Actually…” As she speaks she can hardly meet my eyes. My chest runs cold as I get a horrible feeling that I’m not going to like this. “Dad wants to go back home. He’s finished his treatment with the doctor for now, I’m sure he’ll have follow up appointments, but…” She shrugs her shoulders regretfully at me. “For now he wants to go back. I have been calling you all day long, you just weren’t answering your phone.”
I grab my phone out of my pocket and stare at the screen. Thirteen missed calls and four text messages stare back at me, all containing the terrible news I can see in front of me. “Oh God, sorry I’ve just been so busy today. In meetings and things. I didn’t look at my phone.” I shove it back in my pocket and shake my head as I realize that the missed calls aren’t the most important things. “You’re leaving? Today?”
My heart thumps angrily, my stomach turns over and over in a frantic, confused manner, my head spins. How can I make this not be the truth? What can I do?
“I have to, Brandon,” she tells me sadly. “My dad needs me at the moment. I might be back soon, especially if the record label stuff works out, but I can’t just leave him.”
She’s right, I know she is, and I also realize that this doesn’t spell the end of us, but that doesn’t stop any of the anxiety from coiling around inside of me. I’m so damn scared to let Lola go. I don’t want to spend another year without her. I can’t do it. I won’t survive.
“How are you getting back?” I gush. “What’s happening? What time are you leaving?”
“We’re headed to the bus stop now, I’m so sorry Brandon, I honestly didn’t want you to find out in such a brutal fashion.”
Her eyes are so full of hurt, it breaks my heart. I can see that she doesn’t want it to be this way, but she feels like this is what she has to do. I could just step back and let her do her thing, but the idea of the separation kills me.
“Okay. Don’t go to the bus stop,” I tell her sharply. “Not yet. I’ll… I’ll take you back. I’ll drive you, it won’t take me long.”
This causes her to widen her eyes in shock. “I can’t ask you to do that. You’ve got all your own stuff going on. You’ve got your business and all your meetings… I don’t want to get in the way of anything.” She steps forwards and takes my hands in hers. “I know you have your own thing going on at the moment. I will be back, this isn’t goodbye. This is just me doing my thing while you do yours. Our lives are both crazy at the moment. It’s just a bit of a timing thing. It’s certainly something that we can overcome.”
I can’t stand it, her words are killing me. Logically I know that everything she’s saying is right and that of course we’ll be fine at the end of it, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I pull her to me and run one hand up the back of her neck until it knots up into her hair, then I crash my lips into hers and I kiss her hard.
“I don’t want you to go,” I murmur into her mouth as we pull apart. “I can’t stand the idea of being without you.”
“I know, I know,” she agrees. “I can’t stand it either, but what else can we do?”
The words bubble up inside of me, I can’t seem to stop them from falling out of my mouth. I don’t think that the timing is right, but that doesn’t seem to matter. “I love you,” I whisper to her, so quietly that only she can hear.
“You do?” she gushes to me. “Because I love you too. Really and truly.”
“Then get your things. I’m driving you home.”
There’s no way in hell I’m going to let this wonderful woman get the bus. She needs to go home, fine, but I’m taking her. Then maybe on the way we can both really think about how we’re going to make this work. It’s an hour to an hour and a half. Plenty of time for me to come up with the right plan for all of us.
