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I prop my hand on my hip as I really consider her question. Why am I doing this when I can simply make her disappear right now?
Because you’ll always have doubt.
I fist my hand and press it to my forehead, feeling my nails dig into my palm. “Shut up,” I tell the voice in my head. The pain helps the noise to quiet, the headache easing off.
I look at Addison, who is watching me closely. “How much about psychology do you understand?” I ask her.
She shakes her head quickly. “I don’t know…”
I exhale a laden breath. “There are two contending realities,” I say slowly for her benefit. “Mine and yours. In one reality, Carter and Addison are best friends, gradually falling in love. The classic friends to lovers tale.” I walk a circle around her. “And the stress of a crazed and scorned lover is bringing them closer together.” I stop in front of her and widen my eyes. “Is that not how you see your life?”
She releases a clipped laugh. “Oh, you have no idea.”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t you? You’re the heroine of your story.” I track to the edge of the cliff, to where I can see the lake. “That’s a selfish way to see the world, however. There are infinite realities, as many as every soul who has existed in this world and who will ever exist.”
“In my reality,” I whirl around, “Carter and I have fallen in love. We would do anything for each other. He’d fight for me, and I’d kill for him. But there’s this jealous, meddling little bitch who’s filling his head with lies.”
Addison shakes her head slowly. “That’s…ridiculous. How does one of us dying prove anything?”
“Because only one of us is telling the truth. And there can only be one truth, one version of reality, that remains. Do you see the dilemma? We can’t both exist to love Carter. One of us has to love him more, and that’s what this will prove.”
Addison places a hand to her stomach, as if she’s about to become ill. “Carter doesn’t feel that way about you.”
“Yes, he does, and I’d do anything to protect him.”
She becomes brave and marches toward me. “The way you stalke
d him at Alister’s party? How he had to go to Mr. D. to be removed from you psycho meetings? Christ. Can’t you see how insane you are?”
I pace the cliff. “Shut up. Shut up. Shut the fuck up.” I point the knife right at her. “You have no idea what I’ve done for Carter. What I will do for him.”
“They’ll figure it out. Everyone will. Carter will find out what you’ve done to me.”
“Have you heard about what happens in this town? Serial killers, girls gone missing, murders, bullies…” I flick the knife with every beat. “This is the perfect place to vanish, to go unnoticed. No one cares, Addison, about me or anything I’ve done. That’s why I chose Black Mountain.”
I walk behind her and prod the small of her back with the knife. “Now go.”
Panic grips her, and her anger transitions into pleads. I ignore every protest and desperate promise as I ease her closer to the pass.
“All right. All right. Fuck!” Addison relents. She sucks in a shaky breath, then takes a step toward the pass, hands clenched into fists. “I can do this.”
I watch her inch out onto the jagged ridge and stop.
“Try not to look down,” I say. “Isn’t that helpful?”
“Fuck you.” She starts again, creeping along the ledge of the outcropping, her arms outstretched to keep balance.
The darkness of the night consumes her. She’s a shadow on the mountain as she blends into the landscape the farther out she gets. A gust a wind blasts across the rift, and she hunkers down in place, quivering with her knees tucked to her chest until it passes.
I raise an eyebrow, impressed. Maybe I underestimated this girl.
Maybe you don’t love Carter as much as she does.
“I shut you up once before,” I say, tucking the knife into the back waistband of my jeans. “I’ll do it again.” With a determined breath, I step out onto the ledge.
My bare feet conform to the rock. I wince as the sharp edges dig into my soles. I block out the pain. Fragments of stone come loose under me, and I feel as they give way and fall down the ravine.
Equilibrium doesn’t exist on the pass. The near absolute blackness all around distorts the perception of up and down. It’s like walking through limbo, terrified your next step will be the one to take you over the edge.
