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It had all been bullshit.
He’d abandoned his wife and daughter for a young, new piece of ass. He’d married her shortly after he betrayed my mom and clearly had no regrets or shame about it.
And a part of me hated him for what he’d put my mom through, for how he’d hurt her.
“It’s about your father.”
Of course it was. Because even after the years that had passed, he was still fucking her over.
I walked up to her and gave her a hug. I didn’t know what this was about, but whatever it was had upset her enough that she felt the need to come all the way out here to see me.
I pulled back and looked at her, hating that she felt so lost. She put on a good front, though, and I knew she did it for me even though I knew how upset she truly was over it all.
“Whatever has happened, things will work out. They always do.” I took her hand and led us into the living room, and we sat on the couch. Her focus was on the textbooks and papers strewn along the floor.
“I’m sorry for just barging in like this.”
I shook my head even though she wasn’t looking at me. “You know you’re welcome here anytime. I’m just sorry I haven’t been able to get home. School’s been kind of hectic.”
And then, of course, there was my affair with my professor.
Obviously I kept that to myself. That probably wasn’t a conversation we needed to have at this very moment.
“No, you should definitely focus on school. You shouldn’t have to worry about your mom dropping in because she can’t handle her shit.”
We sat there in silence for long seconds. I didn’t want to broach the subject again, figured she could tell me in her own time what was wrong. But then after a few moments, she cleared her throat and pointed to the textbooks.
“How’s school going, by the way?”
She was deflecting, stalling. She looked over at me and I shrugged. “It’s going.” I felt my cheeks heat as I thought about Lucian, wondering what she’d think, how she’d feel if I admitted what I was doing with my professor.
I ran my hands up and down my thighs, suddenly feeling so nervous. I saw the way she knitted her brows. My mother could read me well without me having to say anything.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded and cleared my throat. “What’s going on with Dad?”
She leaned back on the couch and exhaled, suddenly seeming so tired. “He’s having another baby with Crystal.” My mother stared straight ahead, her unshed tears evident.
I was angry instantly, not because there was another baby coming into the world, not because he had left us to create a new family—because we were clearly not enough—but because my mom was hurting.
“I’m sorry.” In that moment I hated my father all over again.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I shouldn’t even care at this point, but I swear it’s like a wound being reopened.” She smiled at me, but it was sad, distant. “I wanted to be here with you when you found out.”
Not only had he cheated on my mother, ran off with his too-young wife, but every time his happiness came rising back up, it was like a slap in my mother’s face.
“He’s an asshole,” I said, and she looked over at me and gave me a sad smile.
“He’s your father. I don’t want you thinking badly of him.”
“Then he shouldn’t have cheated on you and abandoned us for a piece of ass.” This anger rose in me so violently I felt my hands shake.
“It was wrong of me to come here, to burden you. But I wanted to tell you the news in person. I’m sure he’ll call you tomorrow.”
I could only shake my head. “He told you today?”
She shook her head. “No, I was talking with Cheryl, and she said she overheard Bob talking to your father on the phone.”
Cheryl had lived next to us nearly my entire life. After the divorce, Cheryl had washed her hands of my dad, but her husband, Bob, still kept in contact, apparently.
“She thought I knew already when she brought it up.” She glanced at me then. “Not that I expected Michael to call me and tell me, and honestly I’m glad he didn’t, but to hear it secondhand from the neighbor?” She snorted.
I hated that he was still controlling her emotions, that he had this effect on her. It was hard for her to even have her own life because I knew she still loved him. How could she not?
Even betrayal couldn’t stop somebody from caring. Even heartache couldn’t make those emotions vanish.
“Everything will be fine, Mom. He’s not worth it. Father or not, he hurt both of us, and at this point I don’t want him in my life.”
