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Her eyes spill over, and when the dam gives, I’m out of the car and racing to her side. I have her in my arms before the breakdown takes her.
I carry Avery into her home, locking the door behind us. She clings to my neck as I lay her down in bed. I slip my arms around her, cradling her against my chest. Her body convulses with her sobs, making my chest burn with a fiery ache every time she gathers reserves to unleash new tears.
She bleeds the sickness from her soul. A purification process that’s as painful as it is necessary. I rub her back as she fights her demons, her mind a battleground. How many of us are strong enough to face evil and not be effected?
“You’re not the same,” I assure her.
Her grip tightens on my shirt as her cries come harder. I hold back my own, just so I’m strong enough for her to break against. I have to be.
She’s not the same as the monsters who tried and tried again to destroy her. And no matter her claim, that in the end she became a likeness of her enemy to defeat them, she is not one. She never will be. I will never stop fighting for her.
Epilogue
Ties
Avery
“You look like shit.”
I elbow Quinn, and he grunts. “You look great, Carson. How do you feel?”
His first day back on the job, Carson does look thinner, his boyish countenance that gives him an eternal rookie appearance has aged some.
An overdose of an illegal drug that never hit the market will do that to you.
“I feel awesome, Avery. Thanks for asking.” Carson sends Quinn a mock smile. “I could let your digs get to me, or I could just bask in my promotion. I think I’ll do that, instead.”
“Live it up, rook,” Quinn says, grabbing the beer on the bar. “Captain will soon come to his senses and send you back to the trenches.”
I let my body relax against Quinn’s solidness beside me on the stool as they continue their banter. I’m not sure how Quinn and Carson will manage as partners—they’re more likely to kill each other than solve cases—but I am relieved Quinn will have someone watching his back.
The environment of the prec
inct was tense right before the case was officially closed. That tension bled into the crime lab as we awaited the final outcome. According to Captain Wexler, an anonymous email brought to light what the FBI wanted to keep from the public.
The Commonwealth’s Attorney received a detailed missive which contained evidence of Maddox’s connection to Lena Bell and her crooked empire. The evidence against Lena was staggering. Quinn and the task force worked the trace on the email, which led to a server at Lark and Gannet.
Quinn’s report concluded that Ryland Maddox had set a timed email to send out to the Commonwealth. A safeguard in the event of his death, as it was stated in the email itself. Maddox was willing to confess his sins in order to take down Lena.
The investigation into Chase Larkin’s firm was closed after that. And even though he won’t admit it, I know Quinn was protecting Larkin by doing so. Chase and Alexis are safe from any future claims of involvement with the auction or Lena. Maybe Quinn figures his debt to Larkin is paid…or he really does have a soft spot hidden within his tough exterior.
In the end, it was the rescue of the abducted women that made headlines. Eleven women were purged from the basement quarters of Lena’s mansion and delivered to their families. And once the Commonwealth got inside Lena’s operation, they were able to locate more trafficked women and their buyers.
The number of women—unknown to the media—is frightening.
Not all were found, some outside the country and the FBI’s jurisdiction, but the search continues. I maintain faith that all will be saved.
I have to honor that faith. It’s what saved me.
Even two weeks later, Quinn and I haven’t spoken of that moment when I made the choice to end Lena’s life. I think he wants to believe it was his voice, his reinforcement to push the plunger, that sealed her death.
I know the truth.
I try not to think about what the outcome might’ve been if Quinn would’ve told me to release the syringe. I can’t allow myself to contemplate that dark reality.
I’ve stopped reliving the past, trying to conjure alternatives to what I ultimately took as my road to freedom—because that’s just another form of captivity. Where I hear Lena’s voice whispering to me about how we’re all broken and ruin is inevitable.
The reality is, we are all capable of violence, regardless of our past or gender. It’s the darkness we wage war against, and darkness can wear the face of any victim if given the power. Neither good nor bad has any defining authority. We are all sums of both; we are qualified to be virtuous, just as we are capable of evil.
