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“It hurt too much.”
Alex sucked in a breath at the unexpected admission. “Em—”
“Back then,” she corrected. “Back then it hurt too much. After a few months . . . I just didn’t care.”
Now his chest hurt for a different reason. But he didn’t have the right to be hurt. Not really. He’d held on to his anger for a long time. Couldn’t blame her for doing the same.
“I went to San Francisco,” he said. “Helped launch a couple start-up magazine publications there. Got familiar with the digital space. I didn’t think much about New York until a headhunter tracked me down for the Oxford position. What I lacked in editorial experience I made up for in digital content and vision.”
“Lucky us,” she muttered.
“What about you?” he asked, wanting to keep her talking. “Why New York?”
She glanced up. “Honestly? Because it’s huge. Because I wanted to escape to a place where I could be anonymous. You know . . . all the classic reasons small-town girls escape to the bright lights and big city.”
He smiled at that. “I think actually the cliché is that they run to the bright lights because they want to be a star. Not anonymous.”
“Whatever,” she said with a shrug, standing and taking her glass to the sink.
“You’re leaving?”
“I am. I haven’t eaten yet, and I’m starving,” she said, moving toward his front door.
It was on the tip of his tongue to suggest that she stay and eat there. To let him cook her some pasta or eggs or . . . no.
That would be foolish.
He didn’t even want that. Did he?
Alex followed Emma to the foyer and watched as she turned the doorknob.
Then she turned back. “Cassidy?”
“Yeah.” His voice was gruff, and he was shocked by how much he didn’t want her to go.
Her eyes found his, her expression unexpectedly vulnerable. “Do you ever think we broke each other? Because sometimes . . . . it’s like both of us are unable to feel.”
Alex was definitely feeling right now. But he knew what she meant.
“Yeah, Emma. I think that all the damn time.”
Her smile was sad. “Yeah. I think so, too. Probably best that we keep our distance, then, right? It feels . . . easier.”
Alex nodded in agreement, because it was what he was supposed to do.
She gave him another sad smile and was gone.
After she left, he found himself staring at the door.
Just an hour ago, he would have said that the wall of ice between Emma and him had been crucial. Even necessary.
But at the moment, he had the strangest urge to chip away at that wall. To see if the real Emma was still there.
Chapter 10
Generally speaking, inviting ex-boyfriends to one’s place of residence wasn’t the smartest of ideas.
But when you were facing a month of revisiting a dozen of your ex-boyfriends . . . well, that was a lot of painful coffee drinks or awkward dinner/drinks scenarios.
