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“Twenty-six. Your turn.”
“Older.”
That’s not an answer. “How much older?”
“I told you. Time works differently here compared to the Iron.”
“But—”
“Shh. You asked me a question. Would you rather I not finish explaining myself? I know I’d prefer the quiet.”
Promising myself that we’re gonna circle back on this later, I tell him, “Go on.”
“Time…” Rys sighs again. “It flows so quickly. It passed like a blink of an eye while I served the queen, and I was afraid that, when I returned for her again, she’d be gone. I sought to take her with me to Faerie, to hide her away, and then when she was old enough, I’d take her for mine. But she wasn’t. The Shadow always belonged to the Dark but I was too blind to see it until it was almost too late.”
The Shadow? What does that mean?
Before I can ask, Rys continues. I’m so spellbound by his soft murmurs, I let him.
“She refused me. I tried to save her, and she refused me to protect another human girl. I lost my temper and I thought…”
“You thought what?” I whisper.
“I thought, if the other human was gone, mine would give into me. Without a reason to stay in the Iron, she’d follow me across the veil.”
I know this story. I know what happens.
Rys told me before.
“That’s the sister you killed, isn’t it?”
“You ask me why I want to protect you. Perhaps it’s because I realize now that even a human’s life has value. I didn’t then. I was young. Arrogant. Foolish.” He pauses, his voice dropping. “Cruel. I’ve killed before. I was a soldier and a guard. But that human girl… I regret that one now.”
“Because it lost you your mate?”
“She was never mine,” he says. “But that’s not why I regret it.”
“Then why?”
Rys takes in a breath. “I belong in Siúcra, Leannán. The queen might have chosen this punishment, but I don’t deny my crimes. I’ve done whatever I was told to do, and I’ve done whatever I thought was right. I’ve never apologized for it, though I’ve made my amends. Still… the look on your face when I told you I killed her sister… that’s when I regretted the kill the most.
“You asked me why I shielded you from the cruelty of the guards? I won’t see another human harmed because of me. And if it means that I agree to every lash, every lost meal, and every hour in the shadows, I’ll do it gladly. I’ll do it for you, Elle.”
“But… why?”
“Hush.”
It’s not like the last time he told me to hush. There’s no heat to it, no cocky arrogance, either, just a plea for me to be quiet.
I know what it’s like to be open and vulnerable. For one of his kind, it must be even harder. Despite my nagging, he didn’t really have to share all that with me. I’m glad he did. It’s like I know him better now. I’m still trying to understand how I feel about Rys chasing after a teenager and killing another one, but that’s the thing. He’s fae. The same kind of rules don’t apply in Faerie.
I did learn something really significant from his confession, though. Rys doesn’t just tolerate me.
> He actually kind of cares about me.
Good.
I can totally use that.
