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I’m watching Carolina’s body give out right in front of me.
It’s been three weeks since she had anything to eat. When she told me that, I was torn between being horrified and being pissed, and I snapped.
“Are you kidding me? You’ve got to eat. Ask for more fruit or something. Anything. You’re gonna starve.”
Okay, so I went months without food—but that’s only because I lost time somehow thanks to fae magic. In reality, it was at most a day and a half, and I was super hungry between meals.
Three weeks?
I’d be dead.
With the sun’s rays highlighting her sunken-in cheeks and the black circles beneath her eyes, poor Carolina looks like she’s halfway there.
I don’t get it. I really don’t. Sure, I understand that relying on faerie food to survive means that she’ll never be completely free of the magical, mythical race, but that’s got to be better than wasting away to nothingness.
Not for her.
“It’s not about asking,” Carolina says softly. “I would have to beg for more. And I’m so very tired of begging. I’d rather starve.”
Not on my watch. “You don’t have to beg. Look, I can call Nine. He’s a good guy. If you need some faerie food, I’m sure he’ll get some for you if I ask him to.”
Her head jerks up suddenly. A flash of panic flitters across her face. Her voice drops to a whisper. “Riley, you can’t.”
“Sure, I can. It’ll suck, ‘cause I did tell him that I never want to see him again, but it is what it is. You need help. And, hey, it’s not like I don’t tell Nine to leave me alone all the time anyway. He knows I don’t mean it.”
Because that’s the truth right there. No matter how mad he makes me, no matter how much it hurt to have him reject me like that when I was so vulnerable, I never mean it when I lash out at him.
I can’t.
Whether I want to or not, I love him. Can’t really deny it since I let it slip while under the influence of his touch. I’m gonna have to own up to my twisted feelings sooner or later. If it means that I can stop Carolina from dying right in front of me, I’ll use Nine’s name.
But she won’t let me.
Surging up on her knees, she throws her hands out. “You don’t understand,” she bursts out, her hand inches away from closing around my wrist. She freezes before she does, then shakes her head wildly. “You can’t, Riley. She wouldn’t like that. She’d never allow one of her kind to interfere. It’s better if you leave your fae out of it. It will only make it worse for me. Please.”
“Okay.”
“Promise me. Promise me that you won’t call him here.”
“I promise.”
She sinks back on the ground. A soft sigh of relief escapes her. “When you get rid of Melisandre, I’ll be free of my mistress. That’s the bargain. We don’t need to involve anybody else.”
“Carolina, what if—”
“I believe in you. You’re the Shadow. You can do anything.” A crooked grin tugs on her chapped lips. “I’m hungry, but I’m used to it. I’ll survive. I’ve made it this long.”
“Let me go get you some water at least.” It won’t do anything to satiate her hunger, but water is the only thing on this side that she can get down without throwing it back up. “Can I do that?”
She nods, folding her skeletal body in on herself, knees to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs so that there’s no chance of her brushing up against me as I climb to my feet and move past her toward the kitchen.
It’s only after I’ve left the living room that I notice something.
My pulse is steady. I didn’t flinch, or jerk out of her reach. My hands are clenched at my side, but that’s not because I was trying to brace myself for an unwelcome touch. They’re clenched because I have half a mind to pop into Faerie, find the Dark Fae responsible for this, and punch the Unseelie female dead in the nose. I’m not a killer, but a sucker punch would totally be worth however much time I lose crossing over.
Huh. Look at that. Absolute fury trumps panic. I’m so stinking pissed at her reaction, at what Carolina’s faceless mistress has reduced her to, that I actually would have let her touch me without even the smallest niggle of fear if it made her feel better.
Somehow, over the last couple of days, I’ve grown used to having her around.
