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“You were back east?” New York? Was she thinking of going back to dancing? Dominic wanted to protest that she had worked too hard to give up on being a security tech, but figured he’d interfered enough already.
“I went back to Maryland,” she told him, her features drawn as she stared out the window. He knew she was seeing her past rather than the changing colors of the trees outside. “I had some stuff to take care of there.”
“Closure?”
“What?” She frowned, then pressed her lips together. He thought she might be about to cry until he noticed the humor dancing in her eyes. “Um, not emotional closure. I had that when I ran away.”
“So why’d you go back?”
“To help settle the estate. Phillip has been doing it all long-distance, but there were things that were better done in person. So I did them.” She bit her lip, then admitted, “Maybe that is a form of closure? Not with my past, but between my brother and me.”
“You cut ties with Banks again?” He wanted to protest. To tell her that a guy who would issue threats on his sister’s behalf was one who might be okay. Maybe. Again, he’d interfered enough already. But damn, keeping his mouth shut was hard.
“No, I didn’t cut ties with him. We just closed that chapter of our lives. What comes next depends on how hard we try, I suppose.”
“Try what?”
“Try to be family,” she admitted, wrinkling her nose. “You were right about that.”
He wanted to grab her, hug her, confess his feelings then haul her off to bed.
But he didn’t.
He couldn’t.
Because while she’d been unwilling to admit her need for family before, he’d been unwilling to admit his real fear.
“I’m a SEAL, Lara. Do you know what that means?” Of course she didn’t. Hell, his own family didn’t know the extent of the danger he lived with regularly.
“Are you asking if I know what your career means?” At his nod, she added, “In general? Or to you specifically?”
“Either. Both.”
“Does it matter?”
Yeah.
Yeah, it made all the difference in the world.
If she could handle his career, he’d gladly hand over his family, his house, his heart. If she could accept him for who he was, what he was, he’d happily give her everything he had.
* * *
LARA DIDN’T KNOW where his worries over his career choice had come from, but she supposed it was a fair question. After all, she’d gotten all freaked thinking he wanted to change hers. And not that she trivialized what she did, but it in no way compared to the dedication and focus his job took. She knew some of what he did on duty was crazy scary. Then again, so was life sometimes.
So she gave his question the weight it deserved. She thought for a second to be sure she knew how to put her thoughts, her feelings, into words.
“Starting with the big picture, I think the SEALs are pretty amazing. Not only because of how well you’re all trained or how talented you are at doing the impossible. But because you put your lives on the line every day to protect your country.” She took a deep breath, not sure why she suddenly wanted to cry. That kind of dedication was heart wrenching. “I didn’t value much of what I had growing up, because it was always used as a stick trying to whip me into shape. But my grandfathers served our country. I heard their stories, I saw their pictures.”
His half nod told her he understood her ingrained respect.
Okay. Lara wet her lips. Now it got more personal.
“And then there’s your team. You serve with guys who, from what you’ve told me, aren’t just incredible SEALs, they are great people. Fun, interesting, strong. I was afraid to meet them,” she confessed.
“Why?” He looked shocked.
“Because they are so important to you. Because I know their opinions matter. These are the guys who protect you, who cover your back. They’re the guys who saved my brother. I owe all of you more than I can ever say, and that scares me,” she admitted.
“I wasn’t there,” he reminded her.
As if it mattered.
“No. You were keeping me safe so your team could rescue him. But you have been there plenty of times in the past. Rescues, missions to eliminate terrorists, covert operations.”
“You’ve been watching the Military Channel,” he muttered.
Lara laughed a little.
“Sure, I wanted to know more about what you do. I did research, too. Comes in handy, my ability to hack websites.”
“You didn’t...”
“Hack the government?” She’d been tempted. “No. I figure you’re doing your part to keep the country safe. The least I can do is not jeopardize that.”
