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But I remember feeling her taut nipples with my own fingers, and I cannot forget … or forgive.
I shake my head, trying to rid myself of these filthy thoughts, these emotions swirling through my head.
A man like me can’t feel, can’t want, can’t desire.
It’s impossible.
Because I was made to obey.
To torture.
To kill.
And she … she draws out the worst in me.
I groan against the tree as I cut a wound into my own skin, forcing myself to lose these desires tempting me to do something wicked to this girl. I already did the unforgivable, and now I must pay the price.
Flesh for flesh, blood for blood.
One pain to ease another.
My cock slowly deflates along with my lust as the blood rolls down my leg.
But it’s still not enough.
As I raise the blade to slice again, a gentle hand suddenly envelops my wrist.
My body instantly yearns to throw her up against the tree and bite her. I must ignore these sensations, but how do I deal with it when she won’t let me?
“Let go!” I snarl at her.
“No,” she yells back, putting in every inch of her strength to stop me. “Stop.”
She wants me to stop? She was on top of me, trying to peel away the very thing holding me together.
So I turn to face her and roar, “You did this to me!”
Her fingers unlatch from my hand, and she takes a step back, looking at me with tears in her eyes. Those same tears I’ve seen on a woman plenty of times before … but never did they put a wrench in my soul as badly as they do now.
“I’m sorry,” she mutters.
Her squeaky voice makes it all the more painful.
Not because I cannot bear to hear it, but because I want nothing more than to hear it … over and over again … and it’s driving me insane.
Our ragged breaths are the only audible sound for a few seconds.
“Leave me,” I say.
She won’t run. There’s nowhere to go.
It’s better for her and for me if she’s not around me right now.
But she shakes her head at me as if she actually wants to stick around, and I don’t understand.
“Why not?”
Why would she want to stop me?
Why would she care?
I wish I understood this woman, but the more time I spend with her, the less I understand about these creatures.
She swallows, visibly shaken by my actions … and questions. “I … you’re the only one who can get me out of these forests. If you hurt yourself, you could die, and then what? Then I’m all alone in a place I don’t know. And then I’ll die too.”
I snort and twirl the blade around in my hand.
Of course, that’s the reason.
Why did I ever think it could be anything else?
Still, my heart and face lose a little of that edge of darkness I was hinging on.
Chapter 14
Soren
I didn’t want to go to sleep anymore.
Instead, I packed my things and started walking again.
This time, she came without making a fuss. I didn’t even have to tie the rope around her waist. Maybe she did speak the truth when she said I was the only one who could get her out of this forest, so she’s stuck with me anyway.
But a tiny part of me wishes that wasn’t the reason she stopped me.
I shake my head. Enough talking to myself.
There’s no point in questioning her motives.
She’s my captive, and that will not change, no matter what happens between us. And I will bring her to our destination, even if it costs me every fiber of my being.
I shove aside some leaves and march on through the thicket, letting the moonlight guide me. The girl … April … follows in my footsteps, quiet like a mouse. If she didn’t occasionally sigh, I would’ve never known she was still there. She was so talkative before that I’m not used to this kind of silence.
Is she mad at me for what I did?
And why do I even care?
I grind my teeth and shove aside more leaves, trying to ignore the thoughts racing through my head.
I shouldn’t care. I don’t.
I don’t even wanna fucking know.
All I need is for us to get to our destination as fast as possible so this will all be over, and I can get back to what I do best: Hurting people.
And I don’t mean the emotional kind.
“You’re awfully quiet,” she suddenly muses.
“How’d you guess?” I quip.
“Well, someone’s grumpy,” she says.
I don’t respond. She’s obviously goading me.
“You were the one who went all carnal,” she suddenly says. “Flipping on top of me, ripping down my shirt.”
I spin on my heels. “You touched me first.”
We stare each other down for a second.
“Well, I just wanted to help,” she says, digging her heels in the dirt. “You were in pain.”
I narrow my eyes. “Don’t pretend you care.”
