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“We want you to stay here,” my mother says, her eyes pleading.
I nod. I was planning on it. “Okay. I will.” I can feel Solon’s gaze burning me, but I don’t want to look at him yet. “Mom, Dad, do you mind giving me and Solon a moment alone?”
My mother narrows her eyes. “He’s not staying here.”
“I know he’s not. But I still need to talk to him.”
She sighs heavily and exchanges a weary glance with my father. Then the two of them head to the door, Solon stepping out of the way, averting his eyes from the hate in their gaze.
“I don’t think you should be alone with this monster,” my mother says, pausing outside the door. “It isn’t safe.”
“I know. It’s just for a moment.”
“We’ll be in the living room,” my father says, closing the door behind us.
Suddenly my old bedroom feels so small.
I stare at Solon, unsure of what to say. How to start.
“I’m sorry,” he says to me quietly, his eyes slowly searching my face, anguish creasing his forehead. “I am so sorry, Lenore.”
“I know you are,” I tell him.
“Why didn’t you run?”
I frown. “What do you mean? Like it’s my fault?”
“It’s not your fault,” he says quickly. “But I told you to run. I knew it was coming and I told you to run and I know you heard me. Why didn’t you run?”
I shake my head. “No. I’m not going down this path. You’re trying to put the blame on me.”
“No one is putting the blame on you!” he says angrily. “Obviously I did this to you. Obviously I hate myself, more than you could ever imagine. Your mother had her blade pressed against my heart and part of me wanted her to drive it in. The only thing stopping me from stepping into it was that I needed to see you again, to know that you were okay.”
“Well, I’m here now. I’m okay.” But fuck, please don’t willingly step into any witches’ blades. “I just…how did it happen? How could…I looked into your eyes, Solon, and you were gone. You were gone.”
“I told you!” he says roughly, eyes on fire. “I told you what I was. You saw with your own eyes what I was capable of doing to those I love. You knew, you can’t pretend you didn’t know.”
“I know,” I cry out. “I just thought…I thought I…”
“Did you think you were so special?”
Ouch. It feels like he just slapped me across the heart.
I swallow the pain down, my stomach sinking. “Yes,” I say weakly. “I did. I thought I was special. You’ve told me as much, Solon, I—”
“You’re special to me,” he says, lunging forward. I gasp as he grabs my arms, fingers squeezing tight, my heart thundering in my chest. “You are everything to me. But I am not the beast.”
I shake my head, a tear running down my cheek. “But you are, Solon. You are the beast. It is part of you, and you’ll never be able to escape. I’ll never be able to escape. Next time, next time he’ll kill me. He’ll finish the job.”
His nostrils flare, jaw set in a firm, tense line. “There won’t be a next time.”
“Yes there will,” I tell him. “Of course there will. Anytime I’m with you, I’ll—”
“You won’t be with me,” he says sharply, a line drawn between his brows. “You won’t be with me at all.”
I stare at him, dumbstruck with fear. “What…what do you mean?”
“I’m not going to put you at risk,” he says gravely, breathing in deep. “I can’t put you at risk. We can’t…we can’t be together like this, not when I know what can happen.”
I blink.
My heart feels on the verge of shattering, like one more hit and it’s exploding into a million pieces.
He’s not…
We’re not…
“Are you breaking up with me?” I manage to say, and god, it sounds so dumb, but I’m so fucking scared that this is what’s happening.
He presses his lips together in a firm slash, swallowing audibly. “Lenore.”
I shake my head. “No. Don’t. Just tell me what’s happening. This isn’t a solution, Solon.”
“It’s the only solution I have,” he says, his voice soft and breaking, carrying pain in his eyes, but then I’m reeling from so much pain that it’s starting to cloud my vision.
“Do you love me?” I whisper. I press my fingers to his chest, on his heart. “Do you really love me?”
His face crumbles. “I love you.”
“Then this isn’t the solution.”
“I can’t risk losing you!” he yells, throwing his arms out. “Please, god damnit Lenore, listen to me. Listen to me. I love you to the ends of the earth, but our love works best when it’s alive. When I’m alive, and you’re alive. I won’t lose you. I won’t hurt you. I need to…I need to figure myself out, to stay away from you, to—”
