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Liosh frowned.
“Why would anyone do that? Why would you deny yourself the richness and love and companionship that comes with a strong bonding with your bride? Having a relationship without bonding would be like having a delicious dessert and never taking a bite of it but only looking at it every day.”
“Oh…” Melli’s heart felt like it was made of lead—it had dropped right down to her toes. “I…I see,” she somehow managed. “Yes, I guess that makes sense.”
“Are you all right?” Liosh asked again. “Your face is so pale now.”
“It’s fine…I’m fine.” Melli made a desperate effort to try and smile. But inside she felt like crying…or dying.
Somehow the night before when Liosh had been holding her on the loveseat and they had been talking about everything and nothing, she’d gotten the silly fantasy into her head that they might stay together. And maybe, just maybe, Liosh was such a nice guy that he wouldn’t mind that she couldn’t have sex and he’d want to be with her anyway.
But she knew now that she’d just been fooling herself. After all, what man would want to stay with a girl long-term who couldn’t give him sex? All men wanted it—even wonderful, kind, honorable Kindred warriors did. In fact, they needed it even more than human men did because it was the only way for them to form their all-important bond with their wives.
It’s time to stop being a fool and living in a fantasy land, Melli, whispered an unkind little voice in her head. It’s time to admit that no man—ever—is going to want you when you can’t give them what they all want and need.
When you can’t give them sex.
Fifteen
The morning meal was tense but Vorn kept his head down and helped with the dishes, which Jodi seemed to appreciate, and somehow they got through it. Then she announced she was going to the University and he could stay at her apartment if he wanted to.
“I don’t fucking think so,” Vorn had growled. “I’m supposed to stay with you all the time and that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“But I have to teach today!” she protested. “And then I’m having lunch with James.”
“Oh, the fiancé, right? I’ll be interested to meet him,” Vorn remarked. He still wondered what kind of amazing specimen Jodi’s mate-to-be was. He must have some pretty remarkable attributes to make up for the fact that he didn’t go down on her or satisfy her sexually in any way.
“Nobody invited you to have lunch with us!” Jodi’s face had flushed red as though she could read his thoughts and knew they weren’t complimentary to James in any way.
“Fine, I won’t,” Vorn had growled. “I’ll just sit at the next table over and mind my own business while I guard your pretty little ass from any Varians who might be trying to sniff you out.”
Jodi had stiffened at his allusion to her bewitching but very prominent scent and Vorn wished he could call the words back. He might as well have accused her of not getting off to lessen her scent, as she had promised to do—though he was pretty sure she had at least tried.
“Look,” he began. “I didn’t mean—”
“Never mind.” Jodi held up a hand to stop him. “You can come with me if you have to—just stay in the background.” Her face was frozen into a mask of irritation but it was clear she didn’t want to fight.
Which was a relief to Vorn. After their exchange the night before, he was happy to have some peace.
They had ridden to the USF campus together, Vorn driving and trying to ignore her sweet, strong scent that called to him so alluringly. It was like a low, feminine voice whispering naughty things in his ear every minute he was in close proximity to her and it nearly drove him fucking crazy.
To judge from the way Jodi was shifting around in her seat and clenching her thighs together, she was a mass of un-met needs as well. But neither one of them said anything about it and it was a great relief to Vorn when they finally parked and exited the car.
Jodi was a TA, and also taught some of the lower level classes so Vorn sat in the back of the room and just watched her teach. She looked damned sexy in the black pencil skirt and white silk blouse she was wearing but he was listening too—not just looking. He was surprised at how interesting her classes were—especially the Counseling class she was teaching.
Her lecture that day had to do with the five love languages—words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and thoughtful gifts.
“Now, the reason to know about the love languages in couples’ counseling is that you’ll need to teach your clients to show love to their partners in the way their partners can internalize it,” she said, pacing up and down the lecture hall while the students scribbled notes or tapped furiously on their laptops. “Because everyone shows love in their own love language—but it doesn’t always translate to their partner’s love language. For instance, an acts of service husband might take out the trash and mow the lawn but if his wife’s primary love language is words of affirmation and he never tells her that she’s beautiful or intelligent or wonderful or that he’s proud of her, she’s going to feel unloved.”
