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“It’s not better at all,” Pierce told it angrily. “Turn off the lights, you son of a bitch!”
“No, I think it is time we shed some light, both literally and figuratively, on your sexual shame,” the Companion 2000 said, taking a step toward him. “I am programmed to understand your needs, even the ones you fear and distrust.”
“My needs are for you to shut up, turn off the light, and get back in your box—in that order,” Pierce growled. The laser blasts outside the building were getting closer again, by the sound of it. No doubt Shie-lu had seen the lights and was on his way back to collect Pierce or at least a large enough part of him to claim the bounty.
“What is it you really want?” the man-whore-thing insisted. “Do you wish to weep on my shoulder or vent about the terrible day you had at work? Perhaps you need to speak to me about troublesome family members or disloyal friends. My sensitivity sensors are set on maximum and I will not offer advice or try to ‘fix’ your problems. I am perfectly content to hold you while you cry in my arms.” It stepped forward, arms outstretched with a big fake sympathetic smile on its plastic, perfect face.
“Get the fuck away from me!” Pierce barked, circling around the naked man-whore. Damn but this thing was creepy! Behind him, the door he had used to enter the factory in the first place began to rattle on its hinges. Great, Shie-lu was here!
“I can be masterful too, if that is what you wish,” the Companion 2000 continued babbling. “I vow not to stop my sexual attentions to you until you are completely satisfied both physically and emotionally.”
“In here!” Pierce heard a familiar voice shout. It was Tern, Shie-lu’s right-hand man, and he was just outside the door.
Pierce had no more time to lose arguing with the crazy cybernetic man-whore. With a muffled curse, he dove into the long, silver sarcophagus the Companion 2000 had climbed out of and pulled the lid shut behind him.
“Where is he? I thought you said he was here?” Shie-lu’s voice, sounding angry and oily at the same time, was muffled but perfectly understandable through the thick lid of the box. Pierce held his breath—if Shie-lu found him now…
“Hello, Mistress, what do you desire?” It was the Companion 2000 speaking in that same fruity, slightly robotic voice, like a sex therapist on mind-altering antidepressants.
“What the fuck is this thing?” Pierce heard Tern mutter. There were similar grumbles of disgust and wonder from the other men in Shie-lu’s gang as well.
“I am a Companion 2000. I am programmed to fulfill all your sexual desires—even the most forbidden and socially unacceptable ones,” the Companion explained. “Would you like me to service you now?”
“Service this, bitch,” Tern said and a blast echoed outside the lined walls of the sarcophagus, followed by a burst of hoarse, trollish laughter.
“I am a Companion 2000… I am a Companion 2000… I ammmm a Compannnnionnnn…” The Companion’s voice wound down into a meaningless blur and stopped altogether. Pierce could picture the thing sinking to the floor with a gaping hole it its chest and wondered if it bled real blood, or some factory-grown derivative that was colored with red food dye.
“That wasn’t overly bright of you, Tern. Now it will be obvious to anyone searching for us that we’ve been here.” Shie-lu sounded pissed off, Pierce could tell because his voice was dangerously soft.
“Sorry, boss, but it wanted to sex on me!” Tern protested.
“It’s programmed to say that to anyone, you fool. Clean it up—or at least hide it so it isn’t found immediately.” Shie-lu sounded more pissed off than ever. “Pierce probably left this thing as a decoy and went the other direction. As we speak he is almost certainly on his way to his shuttle. Come quickly or we’ll miss him!” There was a sound of tromping feet—Shie-lu’s men weren’t going to win any prizes for gracefulness anytime soon—and the door banged shut behind them.
Pierce waited a long breathless moment, then heaved a sigh of relief. He only wished he had been smart enough to think of leaving the Companion as a decoy as Shie-lu had surmised, but it was nice to know his old enemy thought so highly of him. Still, now that he and his gang were gone in the opposite direction, it was time to get the hell out of town. The silver sarcophagus he was currently occupying was surprisingly roomy and plush, but it wasn’t anyplace he wanted to spend vacation time in.
He pushed casually at the lid, expecting it to open as easily as it had closed, but the thing didn’t budge. Frowning to himself, Pierce positioned himself so that both hands were braced against the satiny padding that covered the inside of the lid and pushed with all his might. Still no effect. Okay, he wasn’t claustrophobic, but this was starting to get to him.
