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It's pure torture. I've never been with a man who knew exactly how to push me to the very edge of my desire with such a gentle touch. I pull on his hair, trying to guide his head back to my core. "I want it," I purr. "Do it."
"After you come on my face, I'm going to fuck you." He traces the tip of his tongue over my folds. "I'm going to fuck you so hard."
My hands jump to the bed linens, bunching the sheets in my fists. "I have to come."
"You will." He blows a puff of air over my flesh. "You're going to come for me now."
I scream out in pleasure as he scoops my ass into his hands, and dives into my pussy. His tongue expertly pulls at my clit, tracing a circle of pressure around it. I come quickly and hard. My hips buck beneath him but he doesn't stop. He only eats me harder, moaning into my flesh as I grind myself into his face.
His name falls from my lips over and over again as I ride the crest of pleasure into a deep orgasm. I cling to his head, pulling hard on his hair as he licks me softly until I finally rest my back into the bed again.
"Kayla." His lips are fluttering over mine now, the taste of my own desire mixed with his breath. "I feel so much."
I open my eyes slowly. His face is close to mine. I can sense his arms on either side of me, his hands holding up the weight of his body as they push into the bed. I stare into his face. "Ben," I whisper back.
"I would never hurt you." A tear falls from his face onto my chin. "Tell me you know I wouldn’t hurt you."
"I know." I cup his cheek in my hand.
He turns his head towards my hand, pushing the gruff edge of his beard into my palm. "I kept him from you because I wanted you. You loved him for so long. I didn't want to give you back to him."
I feel all of my own emotions crashing to the surface. "I wouldn't have gone back to him."
"I lied to him to keep you." He sobs into my hand. "I lied to Parker to keep you two apart."
Chapter 11
"I followed you a few times." His hands pull my body into his chest. He's behind me now. The dusk of the evening has taken over the city and his bedroom. The only light illuminating us is the faint lights from the buildings surrounding his.
"You saw me with Noah." I trace my fingernails over my bottom lip. "I heard that when you told Parker."
"I felt empty inside when my mother died.
" His breath is on my bare shoulder. "It took me years to forget how brutal the pain of losing her was."
I rub my brow. "I know, Ben."
"I felt it again." He exhales audibly. "I felt it when Parker told me he loved you."
I should turn over and face him but I know that I can't keep myself together if I do that. I'd almost fallen apart when he told me he had lied to Parker to keep us apart. It didn't really matter in the big picture of my life. I knew I'd never get back together with Parker once I met Ben, but still, hearing him tell me that he'd consciously manipulated the situation, it jarred me in ways I didn't expect.
"I didn't follow you because of Noah." He runs his hand over my hair, pulling it behind my back. "I followed you because Parker kept telling me he was coming back here to see you."
"What?" I lurch forward. "Parker told you that?"
His hands guide me back into his embrace. "He'd send me messages about how lonely he was and that he wanted you back and he was getting on the next train. Then he wouldn't respond to me for hours."
I'd read those messages on his phone but I hadn't thought much of them. Whether or not Parker tried to contact me the last few weeks didn't matter anymore. It likely wouldn't have mattered then either. I was so into Ben. I was so immersed in helping him and Noah that Parker was the last thing on my mind. "So you followed me because you thought I was going to see him?"
"It's stupid," he says the words in barely more than a whisper. "It happened twice and both times just as I was walking up the street to your place, I saw you leaving. I walked behind you and when I saw you meet up with Noah, I'd leave. I was so grateful Parker wasn't in New York trying to get you back."
"You should have stopped me. You should have just talked to me, Ben."
"I wasn't rational." He leans his head into mine. "I was fighting with myself, Kayla. The selfish part of me wanted to keep you away from Parker and the part that cares for you wanted you to have the life you wanted, even if it was with him. I was terrified of making another mistake that would cost me someone important to me."
"I wish you would have told me then that you knew him," I offer quietly. I do wish for that. Regardless of whether Parker was bad for me or not, Ben took on the task of weaving a new path for my life on his own.
"History is a powerful thing." His legs move slightly. "I asked you about him weeks ago. You told me he was your first love."
