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I stare at the door trying to control the pounding in my chest. I just need to press the buzzer and Jax will let me up. I have no idea what I'll say to him. I glance at my hand. The broken necklace is dangling between my fingers with the flash drive pressing into my palm. I have to tell him I watched it. I have to tell him I understand now.
I push my purse further onto my shoulder as I reach towards the panel that houses all the buzzers. "Excuse me." A woman's voice startles me. The street is dimly lit and in my overwhelmed state I hadn't noticed anyone walking up the steps.
"I'm sorry." I step back and watch as she unlocks the heavy door to the building with her keys.
"Are you coming in?" she asks as she holds open the door with her foot.
I nod and follow closely behind her marvelling at how she can balance two bags filled with groceries, a briefcase and a container of take-out all while using two different keys to unlock the door.
"Where are you headed?" She smiles as we reach the base of the stairs.
"I'm here to see Jax Walker," I say softly now wishing that I had stayed behind and buzzed him. I'm not certain of how warm a reception I'm going to receive when I start pounding on his apartment door.
"He's that way." She nods towards the wooden stairs. "I'm this way." She points with one free finger to a hallway to the left.
"Do you need some help?" I step closer reaching for a grocery bag.
"I'm good." She turns and disappears down the corridor while I pull in a deep breath and begin my ascent of the staircase.
I reach the top and I'm overcome with dread. I glance at my phone and realize it's almost ten o'clock. Maybe he's not here. Could he be on a date? Did he give up on me because I gave up on him? I shake the thought from my head. I came here with purpose and resolve. I can't turn back now. I'm so close to understanding the truth. All I need is for Jax to fill in the missing pieces.
I knock softly on the door before pressing my ear against the heavy wood. I hear nothing. There's no movement inside. I knock again, louder this time. Still there's nothing but complete silence. I don't want to wake Jax's neighbors but I'm not leaving without talking to him. I thump my fist against the door three times and call out his name. The distant sound of swift footsteps is my reward.
I hold my breath as I hear the click of the lock. I stare at the door handle, watching it turn. It's as if everything is in slow motion. I feel a wave of emotion washing through me. Suddenly the door swings open.
"Ivy," he says in a breathless whisper. He's not wearing anything but a pair of blue pajama pants that are sitting low on his hips.
"I just wanted…" I hold up the necklace and open my hand to show him the flash drive. "I watched this."
I'm vaguely aware of his hands grasping my shoulders as he pulls me into the room. I hear the distinctive sound of the door closing before his arms engulf me. I melt into his bare chest, clawing at his skin. I want and need to pull him into me. I inhale the scent of him and rest my forehead against his chin.
"Beautiful," he breathes the word into my mouth before his lips claim mine.
I wrap my hand through his hair as I pull his body into me. I need to tell him I'm still confused. I should explain that I want answers. I want to understand everything. Thoughts are bouncing off every recess of my mind. I should tell him to stop.
"Jax," I say his name as he moves his lips to my neck. "Please."
"Please what?" His hand is moving up my thigh. I can feel it getting closer. He's going to touch me. He's going to feel how aroused I am already.
"Please," I repeat unsure of anything in the moment.
"Please let me love you," he growls as he dips his index finger into my panties. I shudder as he pulls the length of it against my slick cleft. "Let me show you how much."
I don't resist. There isn't an inch of my body that doesn't want this right now. I need to feel him inside of me. I need to know we're connected. "Yes. Jax. Yes."
He drops to his knees. I whimper at the thought of his tongue touching my core. I don't think I can hold back. I'm so close to the brink now. I feel the brush of his hand against my hip as he rips the panties from my body. I'm so open, so exposed and so ready.
"Christ, Ivy. Look how wet you are." His breath whispers across my skin as I feel the first hint of his tongue brushing against my already swollen clit.
I moan in response, arching my back to meet his hungry mouth.
"That's it, beautiful," he growls into my flesh. "Take your pleasure. Use my tongue."
I grab hold of his hair with both my hands and push myself into his mouth. I'm lost in the moment. In the indescribable feeling of perfect pleasure. I buck my hips against him, using him to bring myself closer to the edge.
He moans loudly, lapping at my clit. He pulls it into his mouth, his tongue tempting it. "Come for me," he coaxes. "Do it, Ivy. Come."
I don't want it to end. There is nothing that feels as good as this. Nothing but having him within me. I cry out as I fall over the edge and the orgasm claims my entire body. He holds my legs as I shudder and pull on his hair. He's reaching for me with his tongue and I'm too tender to respond.
