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"That's it," I say quietly.
"You didn't think to mention this sooner?" he asks tightly. "You didn't think that it might be worthwhile to tell me that my brother got bad news the day he flipped out?"
I feel indignation course through me. I want to stop him on the spot to point out that before Asher disappeared into thin air, Caleb didn't give a shit about what was happening with him. "I didn't know any of the details."
"Did he tell you not to tell me? Is that what happened? You made a promise to each other again and you can't break it?"
The sarcasm dripping off the words is palpable and thick. "He told me he was upset after an appointment. That's all I know."
"You know where he is, don't you?" He points his index finger right at me.
Even though I recognize his anger talking, I won't dive into that with him. I don't want to argue about Asher. "I have no idea where he is."
"That's why you were so calm when we went to the morgue." His eyes close as he pushes his head back into the leather chair. "You didn't bat a fucking eyelash because you knew he was fine."
I bite my lip to stop the flood of emotions that tear through me. "I wouldn't do that to you. I would never keep that information from you."
"Tell me where he is." He rests his elbows on his knees. "Just tell me."
"I don't know," I say clearly and slowly. "I have no idea where Asher is."
"I need to talk to him." His gaze narrows. "If you have access to him, now is the time to tell me."
"I don't," I spit back.
"I came here to talk about what happened." His hand waves in the air towards the hallway. "That was a mistake, Rowan. I don't know what I was thinking."
That you wanted me? That you ached to be inside of me? That the pull that has been there between us for years is real?
"You're sorry that it happened?" I ask for blunt clarification. Now isn't the time to skirt around the edges of this. I want a clear and concrete answer about how he feels.
"It should never have happened." He's on his feet before I have time to react. "We're friends. We almost lost that. I can't risk damaging what we already have. I need you as a friend. I'll always need you as a friend."
I don't look up. I know that if I do he'll catch a glimpse of the disappointment that's washed over me. "We'll never do it again."
"We can't," he says quietly as he turns on his heel. "I need to go but if you hear from my brother, call me…or…you can call Gabriel. Just let one of us know."
Chapter 23
"I need someone to go to Martha's Vineyard for me." Clive is standing in the doorway of my office. "If you tell me you're sending Jordan, I'm going to need to remind you that she just got back from Dallas a few weeks ago with her husband in tow. She's still refreshed."
I smile faintly at the joke. "What's in Martha's Vineyard?"
"There's a very smart developer there who has come up with a software program that I want the rights to." He takes a heavy step into my office. "He hates New York so we need to go to him to get the deal done."
"Imogen can handle it," I point out. "She loves it up there."
"Imogen has court on Friday." He doesn't miss a beat with his retort. "I'm suing a competitor so she's focused on that. She's drawn up the documents for the sale of the rights of the software so you just need to fly there, get them signed and fly back."
I always refer trips like this to Imogen Ford, the legal expert at Corteck. She's constantly asking either Clive or me if there's any way she can get out of the office for a few days. It's actually the perfect getaway for her. "She can't switch her court date? Can't you sue whoever you're suing this week another time?"
"You're not funny," he mutters under his breath. "The trip will be a good distraction for you. I know that Caleb's brother is still missing."
It's a thought that never escapes me. I think about it the moment I open my eyes in the morning and it's the last thought that drifts across my mind before I close my eyes at night. I panic at times, like I did this morning when I was in the shower, but I have to trust in Asher. He wouldn't hurt himself or put himself in peril. He's worked too hard these past few months to piece his life back together. Throwing that all away just to chase a fleeting high doesn't make sense to me. I may be foolish to believe that he's changed as much as I hope he has but the alternative is to sit and fret over his safety. I can't do that. I'll drive myself to the brink of insanity if I do.
"I need to be there on Friday?"
"You can fly in on Friday morning and be on your way back to solid ground within a couple of hours." He nods in the direction of my laptop. "I'll email you all the details."
