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Taking the box into my office library, I don’t bother closing the pocket doors. I cut the box open. The flowers are gone, and it means more than she wants it to. She wrapped the vase carefully in bubble wrap so many times it would take dropping it off a building before it broke.
It doesn’t surprise me, so why the fuck does it send a blow to my chest with all the force of a ball hitting me at ninety miles an hour? Sonofabitch. Leaning against my desk, it’s a minute before I can even catch my breath.
Carefully, I unwrap the vase. The vase is a beautiful representation of Lalique. It’s the kind of thing people would pass down, an heirloom. I set it back in the box upside down, then I spot the hammer I used the other day to hang up a print Catherine sent me. I’m on autopilot as I send the hammer into the bottom of the crystal. The sound of it breaking is loud, it feels good to see it shatter; another blow and it’s in a thousand pieces. Still the tension doesn’t go away, it’s there high and tight inside me. Taping the box back up, my movements are jerky, and it takes a minute.
The guy is waiting, his eyes wide, wary. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. Will a hundred cover it?” I ask as I peel off a bill.
He nods.
“Thanks for waiting. Have a good night.” The words are stilted as I close the door behind him.
Once the door is closed I don’t move. From somewhere close I can hear a siren wailing. My stomach grumbles, only the idea sours in my mouth. The chime of my phone startles me. I look down; it’s Trent asking me to hit the club again. Despite what I told Amelia, I don’t even hesitate to lie that I’m busy. Then go upstairs to change. Nothing appeals except losing myself in a workout hard and sweaty.
9
Amelia
The buzzer goes off, scaring the hell out of me in the quiet of my condo. I haven’t changed from my work clothes, deep down I expected this. I grab the gorgeous bouquet of flowers from the counter and run to hide it in my bedroom. Taking a deep breath, I work to even out my breathing. “Who is it?”
“Frank, ma’am, package from Mr. Baldwin.”
Okay, this isn’t what I expected. “I don’t want the stupid vase. I’m refusing to accept it. Please take it back to him.”
“Umm...ma’am, it’s not a vase.”
What? Fine. I buzz him into the building. While I wait I wonder what it could be. When the knock comes, I open the door. It’s the same box, how is it not the vase? “I thought you said it wasn’t the vase?”
Frank puts it down, then hands me the electronic pad to sign. With a huff, I sign. “It was what you sent him, but it’s not a vase anymore.”
Closing the door behind him, I pick up the box. It shifts; the sound of broken crystal moving is loud. Oh no, it broke? I take it to the island separating the kitchen from the living room and set it down carefully. When I open the box, I find out how useless my being careful was. The once beautiful vase is in a thousand pieces. Tears blur my vision but I still see the sparkling crystal at the bottom of the box. How could he do this? It was so beautiful. How could he willfully destroy it like he did?
Eyes closed tight against the sight, I fight the tears threatening to fall. I would have kept it, I would never have let it go if I’d known what he was going to do. My phone ringing startles me so badly I almost drop the box. Setting it down on the island, I grab my phone. I knew it was Holly from her ringtone, and I take a deep breath before I answer. I’m shooting for light, curious, and fail miserably. “Hello?”
“Amelia, are you okay?” Holly lowers her voice, which means Ethan is close by.
I can’t ke
ep from flicking my eyes to the box on the island. Another breath doesn’t work. “I’m fine.” I again fail miserably at selling the words. “I’ll be fine. What time is it there?”
“Don’t ask, we haven’t quite gotten used to the time change. I’m calling to see how you are. Did you know you popped up in a picture with Christopher Baldwin? What’s going on with you two? You both looked smitten.”
“Nothing is going on. Okay, it was going to be, but not anymore. I came to my senses. It would have been a disaster.”
Holly sighs loud. “Go, it’s fine. Get me more of those chocolate croissants. I mean it, go or you sleep on the couch tonight.” She’s quiet for a minute. “Okay, he’s gone. You know I love you, right? Yes, we had a bump in the beginning, but it’s all done and over. I get it, with the whole lawyer thing you guys shift from what you need to be to get what you want to whatever situation is going on. At the time you wanted your way, so you were manipulative, bitchy, and a brat about me and Ethan. It’s done, I haven’t thought of it in years. It has nothing to do with what I’m about to say.
“Amelia, get your fucking head out of your ass. I get your parents bullied you into submission, into thinking you had to be this perfect little good girl to win at life, but where has it gotten you? What is your prize exactly? You try to put a on good show, only you can’t hide how miserable you are. Life is to be lived outside of books, not through them.
“Knock it off, right now. Stop your crying.” Her harsh command stuns me into stopping. “Tell me what the hell is so bad about getting involved with Chris? Why would it be a disaster?”
Wiping my tears, I swallow the lump in my throat. “It’s me. I’m the disaster. I’ve never liked sex. I’ve never had an orgasm. The one thing he wants, I can’t give him.”
Her gasp is loud in my ears. “Never with a guy or never ever?”
“Never, ever.”
“Holy shit, why not?”
