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“Simone acts like she doesn’t know what it’s like to be held. Then—” I fight not to cry. “I went to touch her and she flinched, Ethan. She flinched as if I was going to hit her. She’s just a baby. How the hell does she even have that as a muscle memory?”
He hugs me tight, rubbing my back soothingly. “It’s going to be all right. She’ll never know that fear again. I’ll make sure the bitch won’t ever get close to her.”
I cling to him, believing every word. “I know. I’ll need your help, but this is my fight. Simone is mine and it’s up to me to keep her safe. I called Valdez, discovery. He’s on it.”
Ethan nods then pulls out his pocket square, mopping me up. “Good, once we have it we’ll be better prepared. When is Chris due back? What did he say?”
“He’ll be back the day after tomorrow. I haven’t told him yet.”
He squeezes his eyes shut. “Fucking hell, you can’t keep this from him. He has a right to know what is going on.”
“He will, just not yet. What exactly is there for him
to do except sit here and worry? Tomorrow, I take Simone to the doctor. Once we get there I’ll let them know she’ll need a DNA test. It will take a few days, and we still need to get the information back from Valdez. Until we do there’s nothing anyone can do.”
“He will not thank you for keeping this from him.”
“I know he won’t. It’s my decision to make.”
Shaking his head, he sighs. “Holly is dying to see the baby. After the doctor’s appointment can you go visit her?”
“Yes, I’ll be happy to.”
With a kiss to my forehead and a last look at Simone, he’s gone. I check the clock, the game is about to start. I clean up the kitchen, pop some popcorn so I don’t have to come back down when the munchies start, then carry Simone upstairs to the third floor to watch the game.
She’s alert after her small nap. I notice she only sleeps an hour or two at a time. Once we’re upstairs I keep a running commentary of the game while I hold her. She finds the game as interesting as I used to before there was Chris to focus on then falls asleep halfway through.
When Chris calls I’ve just given in to putting Simone down in her crib for the night and am staring at the video monitor.
I take a deep breath as I answer. “Hey, honey, good game.”
“Was it? We lost, sugar, I’m not calling it a good game.” He snorts.
“You played great, three more RBIs. I’m calling it a good game.”
“If you say so. What did you do today?”
Why do I remember the promise not to lie from all those months ago now? If I lie to him now, he might never forgive me. There’s no such thing as avoiding this answer. “I love you. Have I told you that? I tried not to. I knew you probably didn’t want to hear it when you were trying to talk me into fun and a fuck, but I knew it even then. Does it count as a lie if I never told you? You never asked if I did.”
“You’re killing me, you know that. Why are you doing this to me when I can’t reach out and pull you into my arms? When I can’t show you how much I love you. Why?”
“I need you to trust me and stay in St. Louis and do your job.”
“What’s going on, Amelia?”
“Promise me you’ll stay in St. Louis.”
“No, I’m not promising you shit. Tell me what is going on.”
Taking a deep breath, I clench my eyes tight. “The stripper who tried to set you up...she did. She dropped off a baby today, as if she were dropping off lost luggage. She’s beautiful, she has your eyes, your chin, a dimple in her cheek and your lips. Her name is Simone and I’m in love with her just as deeply as I’m in love with you. We’re keeping her, even if somehow, some way, she isn’t yours. That bitch who dropped her off is never getting her back.”
Stunned silence. “I’ll be home soon,” he says, then he hangs up.
23
Chris
Hearing Amelia tell me she loves me is a surreal moment. I know she does, I never doubted it for a second yet hearing her actually say it... My world shifts, everything is right, perfect. Until I realize there is something very wrong in her voice. Everything after that, until she tells me I have a daughter, that Amelia is in love with her and we’re keeping her, is lost in the buzzing around me. Of course, I’m keeping my daughter. It’s the Twilight Zone. Did time skip forward? I want a baby girl, with Amelia. How the hell do I have a daughter with someone else? Then I remember, that fucking bitch. I try to do the math and fail...five months, six months old maybe, and at the mercy of a poor, avaricious excuse for a human being.
