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“I guess, how are you? What’s with this going out of your fucking mind? Don’t you have a billionaire who fucks you so good he blows your mind, to keep you company?”
“Haha, you aren’t going to let me forget I said that are you?”
“No way, not when you said it like you meant it. I’ve never been fucked so good my mind was blown. Sue me, I’m jealous.”
“Okay, yes, sex is mind-blowing, absolutely amazing, only it’s at night and if I’m really lucky in the morning. Yeah, he was sweet and spent time with me while I had my period, but it’s been a week since then. Now, he hardly ever comes out of his office before dinner sometimes not even then. So, during the day, I mean I’m going out of my fucking mind.
“Grant told me I couldn’t go out without security but that was the first day. He hasn’t mentioned it again since. I just sit in the condo all day. At first it wasn’t bad, some reading, some yoga, some season three of Supernatural on a fifty inch flat screen, but come the fuck on.”
“Hmm... question. Do you think he thinks the sex is amazing too?”
Flopping onto the big squishy chair I love, I shrug, embarrassed. Today the peonies in the living room are white and the ones in the foyer are red. When I mentioned he didn’t have to he shrugged, saying he liked the way they smelled. “I don’t know, he’s a guy. Don’t they all like sex? He definitely likes it.”
“Don’t give me that. I know you know. Does he think it’s amazing too?”
I think of the way he spends so long going down on me I lose track of time and orgasms. The way he makes sure every time that he reaches that sweet spot within me. Then there’s the way he holds me tight when it’s over, as if he’s afraid I’ll get away from him. I know. “Yes.”
“Well, that was a whole lot of silence for a one word answer. If you’re sure he’s as nuts about what you guys have, then he won’t want to endanger it. You have a very small amount of wiggle room to push him.”
“I thought I was supposed to know men.” The idea of pushing him never crossed my mind. I don’t want to endanger what we have.
“I’ve picked up some things, and you’re calling me. My advice, get the hell out of the condo. Go to the Shedd you love so much or hang out in Millennium Park. Go do your thing. You’ll find out how serious he is about the protection thing.”
Robin is right. I can’t take staying inside another day. “You’re right, thanks. Talk to you on Thursday.”
Dressed in a loose blue shirt and a black maxi skirt, I pluck at my bra in annoyance. In the kitchen, I find Alice wiping down the kitchen counters.
“Alice, I’m telling you as previously ordered. I’m going out. Grant’s at the office where I’m not bothering him. I’ll have my cell phone on me and my pepper spray. I think I’ll check out the Shedd today. I found a camera in the office I’m going to use while I’m out.” I show her the large extremely expensive looking piece of equipment I found covered in dust. It’s pretty cool, with a ton of memory available to play with.
“Did you call him?”
“I’m not allowed to call him when he’s at the office. It’s just for a few hours. I’ll be back before it gets dark.”
Wanting to avoid an argument, I speed walk out the door. I wear a small plain cross-body black leather bag, with enough room for my cell phone, eighty dollars in cash, I.D., and a small can of pepper spray. On my way down in the elevator, I take the time to change my emergency contact to Grant’s phone number.
***
It’s my third trip to the Shedd aquarium, every time it feels like I find something new. From behind the lens of the camera everything looks different. I’m lining up a shot of jellyfish, it’s one of the darker areas of the aquarium, when hands grip my hips and pull me back against a hard, muscled chest. My scream is cut short when I realize who it is. “Grant! What the hell?”
I’m flipped around to face a very angry Grant. “No, sweetheart, you don’t get to ask questions. You answer them. What the hell are you doing here?”
“Well, I was enjoying myself, taking pictures. I told you I like to go out and explore.”
“And I told you, you weren’t going to be doing that alone. What are you fucking thinking?”
“Well, I was thinking you said it once then never brought it up again. I’ve told you several times I like to go and see the city. I didn’t just stop wanting to see the city, I’ve been taking time to settle in. I’m not going through what I went through with Frank. You can’t keep me caged up in the condo. I need to get out.” I know I’m getting loud but I don’t care. “I’m not going back to that again.”
Grant’s hands tighten on my hips. He shakes me once, pulling me out of my panic. I stutter to a stop. “All right. All right. Breathe, sweetheart.” Pulling me close, he sighs as his head rests on mine. “I won’t keep you caged in the condo. I won’t do that.”
His words calm me, I cling to him, trusting in what he tells me. A family enters the room and their chattering drives us apart. “I’m sorry.” I mutter as I go to wipe the tears that escaped. Only to find Grant is already doing it. I look away, embarrassed for getting emotional.
“I should have followed through on the call for your security. They faxed over a proposal but it’s lost somewhere on my desk.”
I sigh in exasperation. “I really don’t understand what the big deal is. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. I’ve told you. I’m used to going out alone. This is something I’ve been doing for years.”
A hard hand cups the back of my neck, forcing my head up to him. His eyes are glowing with anger. “That was then, before me. I protect what’s mine, you are mine. There’s an average of four women raped every fucking day in this city and that’s just the ones that are reported. You are a beautiful, extremely sexy woman. Any man who saw you would want you. Add into how small and fragile you look, no f
ucking way will you walk these streets alone. If anything happened to you...” He blinks the fear glowing out of his eyes now is so different than his anger. I can’t breathe at the depth of feeling I see in them. His hand tightens until I wince. Immediately he gentles his hold. Bringing me closer to him, he presses a kiss to my forehead. I feel infinitely protected, cared for and it sends a shiver through me. No one has ever made me feel as if I were important to them the way Grant does in this moment. “For me, sweetheart, for my peace of mind. Will you let me do this?”
