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“Even then you were the best fucking glitch I’d ever had happen to me. I took it all for granted you were a part of my life, so I could punch out what I wanted, and we would work the way I wanted. Until you didn’t, and it fucked up my world.
“I’ve had too much money and too many things my way for too long. I got scared, and thought maybe I was wrong and you didn’t love me. In the scenario of not repeating my father’s mistake I never saw myself as being my mother. Yet every time I told you I loved you and you didn’t say it back, I understood what my mother must have felt.”
Anne bursts into tears then lunges for me, her arms around my neck. “I’m sorry. Oh god, I’m so sorry. I love you but I couldn’t believe it was forever. I was happier than I’ve ever been before and I was so scared any moment something was going to take it all away. I was sure it couldn’t last, it wouldn’t last. It didn’t seem like I deserved you after all I’ve done.
“How could you really love me and want me? You’re this beautiful, brilliant, billionaire and I’m me, a plus size, GED certificate holder, online college degree haver. Me, a former prostitute, who couldn’t keep her baby alive, who couldn’t hold down a job. Maybe you wanted me for the moment but not forever. One day you were going to realize you didn’t really love me and leave. I was trying to protect myself from the pain of loving you and you leaving me.
“Even when you offered me that ring I still couldn’t believe it was true. It was a dream, a dream I felt like a fool for believing in. Then when you told me about your parents, I understood you had fears of your own. It never crossed my mind you could be afraid. You seem so sure, so unbreakable. I finally understood you loved me enough to give me your heart and let me break it. There I was, terrified I was going to be hurt all over again by loving you and losing you. I wasn’t brave enough to own up to you that you had my whole heart. I’m sorry, I had no idea how much it hurt you when I didn’t tell you I love you.
“And I do love you, Grant. I don’t know when it was exactly that it happened but I do know I realized it that day in the office of the campus visit. It didn’t really surprise me when you told me that day. At the time I was worried you only said it because you knew I loved you and you were trying to make me feel better.
“It wasn’t until I’ve been sitting here for over an hour going over everything you said for the tenth time that I realized you were calling off the wedding not because you didn’t love me, but because you didn’t believe I love you.”
Hearing her say it after the last few weeks of doubt, I squeeze her so tight she moans. Feeling like an idiot, I loosen my grip enough for her to breathe easily.
“Oh, my love, I’m the lucky one. You are amazing, fucking amazing. You grew up in the darkness, without real air and you became this beautiful light full of love and strength. Going through everything you did you didn’t let it make you bitter, or angry, or afraid of life. You are so fucking beautiful inside and out don’t ever let me hear you put yourself down again, no one talks badly about the woman I love not even the woman I love.
“I’m sorry, too. I should have told you about my parents earlier. I should have given you more time. I just love you so much, need you so badly. My expectations were too damned high. Even though I promised myself I wouldn’t get greedy again, I’m going to need you to tell me you love me again, and maybe five times a day for the next month or two.”
Even with tears in her eyes she’s beautiful, her smile wide. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you because I love you so much. Can I have my ring back now?”
I fumble with the ring as I pull it out of my pocket. My hand is trembling when I slide it on her finger.
Chapter Eighteen
This time when Grant slides my ring on it feels infinitely right. As if it’s always been there, as if it’s supposed to be there. I’d been scared he wouldn’t come, scared of going back to the hotel to find he hadn’t changed his mind. “I made it out of the hotel and out of the cab but I couldn’t bring myself to even go inside. There wasn’t anywhere I wanted to go but back to you.”
“Thank you for not leaving, for giving me another chance to get this right. From here on out, you’re driving us. The ring is yours, it will always be yours. We don’t have to get married here in Venice or anywhere else until you’re ready.” Grant humble, I never thought I would see the day. I hate it.
“Oh, no you don’t, you’re making an honest woman of me here in Venice today. I want to wear that beautiful dress you described in exquisite detail to the dressmaker and look as gorgeous as you think I do.”
He smiles, “Silver again, finally.”
I wonder if he’s drunk, as I smell the liquor on his breathe. “Silver? What?”
“When you are extremely happy or wet and ready for me your eyes are silver. When you’re upset, they get cloudy and grey, if you’re turned on and wanting me or just really happy, they are a shiny pewter. Since the last time we made love before finding out you were pregnant in Rome they’ve only turned silver when we were making love.”
I blush, having no idea until now. “Oh.”
Grant throws back his head and laughs. Hearing his laughter, all the tension I’ve been feeling dies. “I love you, sweetheart. Let me get off you the ground and into bed where you belong.”
“I’d like that.”
During the ride back to the hotel I’m practically in Grant’s lap, I’m so clingy. I consider apologizing, but Grant’s hold is pretty tight too, I figure he’s not bothered by it. When we go up to our room I’m surprised to find Marshall asleep on the couch.
Grant apologizes to me. “He was pretty worried about you and whether or not I would get this right.” I nod, remembering how hard Marshall had worked to get me to give Grant another chance. “Hey, Marshall, I found her, it’s all good. You can go to bed now.”
Cranky at first when Grant nudges him, Marshall smiles when he sees us holding hands. “Awesome, good job. Told you, Anne, he’s a little slow when it comes to all this. Don’t be afraid to tell him to fuck off and not let him get his way. Don’t spoil his ass.”
“Thank you, I won’t.” I’m enveloped in a bear hug.
“I’m pissed you scared the hell out of him, but it was what he needed to make him listen. Just don’t do it ever again, okay?” Marshall whispers. I nod, giving him what I hope is a reassuring squeeze back.
Grant, smacks Marshall on the back. “Okay, hands off my woman. Thanks for the help, I needed it but I got it from here. Oh fuck, did you call them to cancel like I asked you to?”
I stiffen then sigh, it didn’t matter, it really didn’t. Marshall rubs my back before letting me go.
“Of course I didn’t, dumbass.” Marshall says before punching Grant in the shoulder not very gently. “I’ll see you two at sunset later on today. Get some sleep.”
