AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Gunner watched as Raketa led him down the hallway, wondering if she’d just go to bed too. He almost wished she would.
He didn’t know if he could talk to her. No matter what he said, the words would drip with the agony he was feeling, knowing he held the answer she sought, but was powerless to give it to her.
“Let’s call it a night,” she said, walking back to the sofa and holding her hand out to him.
“Go ahead, I’ll stay out here for a bit.” He brought her hand to his lips. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“No, Gunner. There are two beds in this house, and I refuse to sleep with Striker.”
“Damn right, you won’t,” he said, pouring another shot in his glass and throwing it back.
“If you keep going at that rate, you’ll be drunk, and I know you’ll regret it. If not in the morning, one day you will.”
Gunner looked into the eyes of the woman who held his heart. He couldn’t sleep next to her, let alone make love to her sweet body, knowing what he did. He could hardly stand to look at her with the guilt he felt.
“I’m going for a walk,” he said, pulling away from her. He went outside and slammed the door behind him.
Never before had he faced a situation like this one. There were good guys and bad guys. Choosing right over wrong was easy. The only time that had come close was when he had to choose Doc’s life over Lena’s, and even then, the decision had been made for him. In that instance, Lena was evil.
Who was evil in this case? Was Raketa any more or less so than Kuznetsov? He had no idea why UR would want the other woman over her, but either way, there was no way to define either of them as purely good or evil.
When she’d asked him what he’d do if he was forced to choose between her and his mother, he didn’t give it any thought. There would never be a time he’d have to.
But now, he was forced to choose between her and his loyalty to Shiver. It wasn’t much different than her hypothetical.
Gunner sat on a bench by the water and leaned forward with his arms on his knees. Sitting that way did nothing to assuage the pain in his gut.
Unless they could come up with someone else UR wanted more than Kuznetsov, Raketa would be running from them for the rest of her life, and Gunner wasn’t sure he could promise that he’d be able to keep her safe.
He heard the door open and close behind him, knowing Raketa was coming to him and wishing it were Striker instead, no matter how much he hated him.
She walked around him, pushed his shoulders back, and sat on his lap.
“Talk to me, Gunner Man. Let me help you.”
He almost smiled at her using his words back at him, but the pain he felt was too great.
“I can’t,” he said, wishing he could take the words back as soon as he’d said them.
—:—
Raketa brought her lips to his and forced her tongue into Gunner’s mouth. She circled her arms around his neck and held tight. The only time she’d seen him in this much pain was when he’d been forced to kill Lena.
She’d refused to take no for an answer that night, and she wouldn’t tonight either. She loved him too much to let him deal with his suffering alone, in the same way he wouldn’t have been able to let her.
When she pulled back and looked into his eyes, the pain she saw there broke her heart.
“When I got the first phone call, the person used my name, Zaryana. They went on to tell me that if I wanted to see my mother again, I could tell no one about the call or about the instructions I would receive. If I did, she’d die.” She took a deep breath. “I didn’t get another call until earlier, and you heard the same words I did. Wait, that isn’t true. There was another call, but I didn’t answer. It was right before I left the room, when Orlov shot at me.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because the only way I know to get you to trust me enough to tell me what’s going on, is to trust you first.”
“Jesus,” she heard him say as he buried his head in her shoulder. She felt his body shake as the dampness of his tears seeped into her sweater.
His arms around her waist tightened as he clung to her and cried. “I don’t know what to do,” she heard him whisper.
“Tell me, Gunner. What is causing you such pain?”
