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“The last thing I remember…” I couldn’t go on.
“You were kept in a medically induced coma to prevent you from further injuring yourself.”
“I wouldn’t mind if you put me back under.”
He nodded. “I understand, but there are a few people here who are waiting to see you. I asked that they let me explain your injuries and treatment plan before they came in.”
I closed my eyes again, certain I didn’t want to hear what he was about to tell me.
I listened only superficially as he explained different types of skin grafts, which were temporary, and which could be considered permanent.
“It will take approximately one month for the grafts to heal.”
“You’re saying I’ll be out of here in a few weeks’ time?”
Dr. Schweitzer shook his head. “With the amount of skin that will need to be grafted, it will take several surgeries. You will be with us for at least one year, Miles. Is it okay if I call you Miles?”
I could barely register his question; my mind was swirling with his prediction that I’d be here a year. At least.
“Before I bring your parents in, do you have any further questions at this time?”
Fighting tears, I found my voice. “Just one.”
“Go ahead.”
“Why the fuck did you let me live?”
When he stood to leave, I called out
to him.
“Yes?”
“I don’t want them to see me like this.”
“If you mean your injuries, they’ve seen you, Miles. They’ve been here every day since you arrived.”
I turned my head, fighting threatening tears. “I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to see anyone. I want to be left the hell alone.”
The doctor’s already solemn expression grew more somber. “I understand, Miles, but the support of your family is essential to your recovery.”
I didn’t respond. I’d told him I didn’t want to see anyone. Whether he respected my wishes or not, there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn’t as if I could get up and walk out of the room.
A few minutes later, the door opened and my mum and dad came in. They both put on a brave face, but their cheeks were tear-stained and their eyes red and swollen.
Mum stood beside me and brushed the hair from my forehead. “The most important thing I want to say to you, is to tell you how much I love you. I thank God every day that you’re still with us.”
Did she know I wished for the exact opposite? Had she been listening to my conversation with the doctor?
“Miles,” said my father, standing on the other side of the bed. “Son…” His eyes filled with tears, and he looked away.
The door opened again, and a woman walked in who looked like my sister but with an extra five stone. When she rested her hand on her stomach, I realized she was pregnant.
“Hi,” she said, coming to take my fathers’ place.
“You look big as a house.”
She smiled through her tears. “Sure, go on, then, make fun of me when I can’t give you a swat for it.”
