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“Then?”
“When you came to Germany.”
“And you were certain I would pity you?”
“Let’s say it became my expectation.”
“I understand.”
“What happened to me…There were times, there are times…I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
She put her hand on my heart and brushed my lips with hers. That brief contact filled me with warmth that quickly turned to something akin to dread. I couldn’t allow myself to kiss her. If I did, I’d want more, and I was
n’t capable of more.
I saw Edge walk in and nodded to his wave.
“That’s your friend. I met him in Germany, but I don’t remember his name.”
“His name is Keon, but everyone calls him Edge.”
“He is a good friend to you.”
“He’s my best mate. Has been so since our days at Sandhurst.”
“Was he there?”
Pia’s voice was soft, and I knew she didn’t mean at the Royal Military Academy. “Yes, he was.”
“It must have been so difficult for him.”
She was right, and it was something I didn’t acknowledge often enough. My head was filled to capacity with how awful it had been for me, and I rarely thought about the pain of others. Every so often, I’d see the light, but most of the time, I was mired down in my own darkness.
“He feels guilty. It’s common among those who serve. Most call it survivor’s guilt. In this case, I survived, but there were others there that day who did not.”
Pia stopped dancing and took a step back. “Excuse me…I’m sorry.” She rushed away, and I followed.
“Let her go,” said Edge as I was about to blow by him. “Give her a minute. She’ll be back.”
I shrugged off the hand he’d put on my arm. “How do you know?”
“I just do.” A waiter walked past us with a tray of Champagne. Edge grabbed two glasses and handed one to me. “Welcome back, ya wanker.”
“Thanks.” We toasted.
“Z Alexander has been asking about you.”
“Why would the head of SIS ask about me?”
“Maybe because you were trained to eventually work for him.”
“Not going to happen.”
Edge took my glass and set it and his on a nearby table. “Let’s find a real drink, yes?”
I led him over to the bar, where we both ordered an Irish and a pint.
“There’s a job at MI5 when you’re ready.”
