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“You saw us together. The other night, she told me that she had a dream and woke up feeling like we hated each other. She asked me about it.”
“What did you say?”
“I told her I never hated her.”
“Was that the truth?”
“At this point, I can’t say. There were times I sure as hell felt like I did. More times that I almost called Rile and told him that either he partner me with someone else, or I was walking off the mission. Something I had never considered doing at any other time in my career.”
“Damn. I didn’t realize it was that bad.”
“It was worse. There was no question she hated me just as much. More, in fact.”
“What I don’t get is why Siren thinks the two of you were an item.”
“Me either. I mean, there was one night when we were in the Seychelles. We had too much to drink, and one thing led to another.”
Decker’s eyes opened wide.
“The next morning, I told her that nothing like that could or would ever happen between us again. She was sure to inform me that she’d rather die first. That’s how it was between us.”
“Damn, Smoke, I’m real sorry.”
“Me too. I’ve wanted to tell her the truth since before we left London. I didn’t, and then when we got here, the psychiatrist told me not to. That her already fragile emotional state could get a lot worse.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Not much I can, except wait until her memory comes back and, when it does, try to keep her from cutting my balls off and feeding them to me. Then I’m sure she’ll go back to IMI and I’ll go back to freelancing, only this time, with the caveat that no one ever teams me up with Siren again.”
I heard something outside the office, but when I looked, all I saw were the barn cats.
“It seems like you really care for her, Smoke.”
“It’s more than that, Deck. I think I love her.”
“Fuck, man. I don’t know what to say.”
“Me either. What I said earlier, about sweeping up broken pieces. I was referring to what’s left of me.”
16
Siren
Gripping the barn door with one hand, I tightly covered my mouth with the other, praying no sound came out. I ran across the lawn, stumbling before I got to the house. Once inside, I raced down the corridor to Smoke’s bedroom.
I pulled a small bag I’d seen at the back of the closet and tossed some clothes into it, careful to only take what I’d had when I arrived here. Then I went into the bathroom and grabbed a handful of necessities.
Next, I checked the cross-body pouch I wore under my clothes that I’d thankfully found in the bag of things I brought with me from the hospital. In it were my identification, passport, and credit cards.
I hurried over to the bedroom where Maureen had been staying. “Put this inside your suitcase,” I said, handing her the smaller bag. “I’ll explain later. We’ll be leaving earlier than anticipated…um…Dr. Mansfield had to switch my appointment.”
“He didn’t notify me.”
“That’s because he notified me,” I snapped and turned before stalking out of the room. “Please just do as I ask. I’m begging you.”
When she nodded, I hurried back into Smoke’s bedroom and packed the suitcase I usually took with me to Asheville. I had it almost wheeled to the front door when I saw him walking in my direction from the barn. I took a deep breath, ready to give the performance of my life.
“I thought you weren’t leaving for another hour,” he said, looking down at where my suitcase and Maureen’s sat near the door.
