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I had no idea what the beginning of Siren’s conversation with Decker sounded like, but I’d heard the end loud and clear. She said there was nothing between us and there never would be. I’d endured indescribable pain to make love to her only a few minutes earlier, and yet she just said there was nothing between us and there never would be.
“Deck, Smoke and I need to talk.”
My friend turned to me, and I nodded once. “Don’t go too far.”
“Copy that.”
“Where are Casper and Hughes?”
Siren put her hands on her hips. “Why?”
I shook my head. “Just curious,” I mumbled.
“They’re outside. Talking. She looks quite happy, in fact. Shall I go and fetch her for you?”
“Stop it.”
“Something’s just occurred to me.”
I rested my hip against the kitchen counter top, wondering how much longer I could remain standing. “What is that, Siren?”
“That’s why you were so anxious to be rid of me once my memory returned, you and Casper—”
I stalked over to her and got in her face. “Quit it. There’s nothing between Casper and me. There never has been and there never will be. But I’m curious why you care when you just said there’ll never be anything between you and me.”
“You aren’t the only one who overheard a conversation, Smoke.”
I was beginning to feel lightheaded. “I need to sit.” She was furious with me; she had been often enough that I knew the signs. However, she still helped me over to a chair. “Sit down.”
“No.”
“Dammit, Siren. Sit the fuck down.”
“Don’t talk to me that way, Smoke! If that’s how you’ve talked to the other women in your life, then I can’t say I’m surprised you’re alone.”
I lowered my head. That one hurt.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured and took a seat.
“So am I.”
“This is what we do, isn’t it? We hurt each other?”
“Not always.”
“No? I don’t remember it being any other way.”
“Maybe not before you were shot.” She tried to stand, but I captured her wrist. “Before you were shot,” I repeated. “And then things changed.”
“Bullshit,” she spat, wrenching her wrist from my grasp. “It didn’t change; you just lied.”
“I don’t know what you thought you heard, but whatever it was, you took it out of context.”
She walked over to the window, folded her arms, and then turned back to look at me. “Like you took my words out of context? A few minutes ago, you told Decker you were ready to leave.”
As much as I wanted to, I didn’t have the strength to get up and walk over to her. “Siren, please.” I held my hand out to her, but she shook her head.
“Do you have any idea how devastated I was that day?”
