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“I should head home tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Okay. That’s it?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Ask me to stay. Tell me you want me to stay.”
“Please stay. And, Ben, I do want you here with me.”
Friday and Saturday were a blur. They had dinner with Dottie and Bill, but otherwise spent most of the two days getting to know each other better.
Ben stopped asking her questions and started telling her more about him. He told her that while she was in Europe with Renie, he and the band would be on the road touring the majority of the time. Their new album was ready to release, and the record company had been pushing them to get out and promote it.
He hadn’t said anything about when they might see each other again. When he jokingly told her to check the CB Rice website for the tour dates, dread settled in the pit of her stomach.
When she woke up Sunday morning, for the first time since he arrived, Ben wasn’t in bed next to her. She got out of bed and went into the bathroom. There was no sign of him, his toiletry kit no longer sat on her counter. She walked back into the bedroom, his clothes and his duffel bag were gone too.
She pulled on jeans and a sweatshirt, put her hair in a ponytail, put on a pair of socks, and went in search of her boots. There was no sign of him in the living room or the kitchen either.
She put on her boots, and went out the back door, holding her breath, willing his truck to be in her driveway. It wasn’t.
She wrapped her arms around her waist, putting one foot in front of the other, making herself walk in the direction of the barn. Halfway there she started to cry. By the time she reached Micah’s stall, she let it all out. All the pent-up emotion she’d been holding in the last few days worked its way to the surface, and she cried.
Ben was gone, and he’d left without saying goodbye.
10
She cried so hard she didn’t hear the truck pull in the driveway, or the barn door open.
“Liv! What’s wrong? Did something happen to Renie?”
“Ben?” She wiped at her tears. “I thought you left.”
He held her close, and stroked the back of her hair. “I’m right here. Shh now.” He leaned back and kissed each of her eyelids. “I wouldn’t just leave.”
She hiccupped. “But your stuff. I woke up and you were gone, and your stuff was gone, and your truck was gone.”
Ben held her tightly, stroking her hair, telling her again and again everything was okay. He tried to stop himself from…smiling. What kind of asshole did it make him that he wanted to smile? And not a little smile, he wanted to grin from ear to ear. She thought he’d left, and it wrecked her. And that made him happy. God, he was a sadistic bastard.
“Liv, I wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye. When I woke up, you were sound asleep, sunshine. Your body took the rest it needed. So instead of waking you up, I came out and fed the horses. When I finished, you still weren’t awake, so I put gas in the truck.”
“But the last couple of days…”
“What? I haven’t pushed as much? Haven’t made you as crazy hanging on you, asking you to promise me your heart, and begging you to let me stay forever?”
“Are you trying to be funny?”
“Half-funny. Listen, it’s been what? A couple of weeks? Yeah, I realize I’ve been pushin’ you real hard, real fast. No matter what I say, you won’t believe that I’m not usually this way, ’cause for whatever reason, with you I am this way.” He laughed, but then got serious. “I’m not gonna lie to you, Liv. Leaving today won’t be easy. Every part of me wants to figure out a reason to stay, or beg you to come with me. And before you say anything, I know how crazy that sounds.”
Liv’s head rested against his chest, but he wanted to see her face. “Look at me, baby. I’m not letting go of this. Not at all. But I am going home to give us both time to breathe, time to figure out what this means. It definitely means something to me. Does it mean something to you, Liv? I want you to be honest with me. If it doesn’t, I need to hear it.”
“It does. Ben, I was sobbing because I thought you left.” She turned her head so her cheek rested on his chest. “I feel more than a little foolish,” she whispered.
Ben put his hands on each side of her face, turning her to him again. “Don’t. Don’t be afraid to show me you care.”
Liv closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat. She was stunned by her reaction to thinking he was gone. This had been a whirlwind between them. She’d miss him. A lot. And instead of trying to play it off as if it didn’t matter, she should tell him that it did.
