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Hard as it was, he had to force himself to do it. He eased her head down on the pillow, got up, and walked out of Liv’s life.
21
The fallout with CB Rice’s fans had been less than anyone initially expected. Since they had a full week of shows still booked, Ben did what he did best. He came out at the start of every show and told the truth.
He told people he never meant to deceive anyone, and until the story broke in the press, he believed Liv was still in a coma. He told them about her paralysis, and that Liv was so strong, so independent, so brave, that she wanted to protect him from it. He went on to say she’d had a successful surgery, and everyone believed she’d be walking and back to her old self in no time.
Each night the crowd roared when he said it. He didn’t tell them that he and Liv were no longer together, but then, they never really had been, anyway.
For the first time in over three months, Liv was home. She hated not having her independence, and while her recovery went faster than anyone anticipated, not being back in her routine made her wretched to be around. She’d be the first to admit it.
Renie took it in stride. She wouldn’t go back to school until January, and in the meantime, she’d be home with her mom, helping with her continued recovery.
“Would you like to ride today?” Renie asked.
“No, it’s too soon,” she murmured. “I’ll walk to the barn, that’ll be enough for today.”
Liv wasn’t sure she’d have the courage to walk into the barn when they pulled into the driveway. She needed to see Micah, as much as the thought of it terrified her. She missed her boy, but worried how he might react to her.
She didn’t see Micah when she walked in, but by the time she got to the stall, his nose peeked out. She stood and let him nuzzle her. His hind leg bent, and his breathing evened out. He almost purred.
Liv stood and loved him until one of her legs gave out. She grabbed the top of the stall’s half door, and Renie ran over to her, with a stool for her to sit on.
Renie tried to hide her tears, but Liv saw them. “Will you be okay for a few minutes, Mom?”
“Sure, honey, go ahead. I’ll catch up with my boy.”
Liv managed to hold in her sobs until she heard the back door of the house close.
“Oh Micah, what have I done?” she sobbed.
&n
bsp; When she woke up in the hospital and Ben was gone, she thought maybe she dreamt everything from the night before. She moved one of her legs to be sure that part wasn’t a dream. It hadn’t been.
The nurse came in with breakfast, and told her she’d be going to rehab in two hours. And then she was gone, leaving Liv alone. The ache of what that meant spread through her chest.
He didn’t stay, even though he said he would, and Liv had to face the fact that he wouldn’t be coming back.
She spent the following two weeks trying to get her legs to work properly, and doing her best to kick everyone close to her out of her life. Even Paige reached the point where she’d had enough.
“I’ll be your friend until the day I die, and I love you, but I won’t be your punching bag. You know where to find me when you want to,” she said before she stormed out.
Mark still came to visit every day. He didn’t talk much, he rarely even said hello. He arrived when she began rehab, and left when she finished. In between, he helped.
Renie also came every day, in the afternoon. They spent so many afternoons in silence, that Renie started bringing a book with her. Liv would stare out the window, lost in thoughts she had no desire to discuss.
“Depression is normal,” Liv heard the doctor tell Renie. “Her body has been through a significant series of traumas. She needs to heal. She’ll come around. I’ve offered to prescribe something for it, but your mother refuses it.”
Billy came with Renie as often as he could. He was in the top five nationally for saddle broncs, and slated to go to the finals in December. He’d tell her about the barrel racing standings, and who was winning in each region.
At first it bothered her, but then she realized Billy talked to her as though she was on the injured list, not the retired list.
“I’ll help you. Anything you need. I’ll be there for you, Livvie. Soon as you’re ready, we can get back out on the road together.”
“I appreciate that, Billy. We’ll see, okay?”
Thanksgiving morning, eight days after she came home, Liv decided it was time to ride. Renie suggested her mom ride Pooh, but Liv was determined to ride Micah. Her leg muscles were stronger than they’d ever been. She’d never exercised before, she’d rode and worked. Now she had a strength-building regimen she followed every day.
