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The door it’s stopped at is the third one down from mine, of course. No face of Our Lady on it, but when I step up to it, it of course clicks and swings open.
We go through the next doorway, and the next, and the next, seven doorways in all—from a library to a little museum, then another library, then an office, then an archive with messy files, then a bigger museum. Some of the rooms are empty—of people, I mean—and some aren’t, and when they’re not, the people, some in suits or dresses and some in clerical outfits—give me a look like, “Well, he certainly seems to know where he’s going with his musical instrument. Perhaps they’re having chamber music with espresso for gli ufficiali. And of course that can’t really be a pure white dove with an olive twig in its beak flapping in front of him, so everything’s just fine. Buon giorno, Signore.”
When the bird stops for good, hovering madly, it’s a really big door and it doesn’t open right off. But I know this is it—that my guy is on the other side. Whatever he’s doing, he’s there and I’d better get ready. He’s a vampire. Maybe he’s confused—maybe he doesn’t want to be one any longer—but he’s still got, according to the angel, superhuman strength and super-senses and the rest.
When the door opens—without the slightest sound, I note—I’m looking down this spiral staircase into a gorgeous little chapel. Sunlight is coming through the stained-glass windows, so there’s got to be a courtyard or something just outside, and the frescoes on the ceiling look like real Michelangelos. Big muscles. Those steroid bodies.
The bird has flown to the ceiling and is perched on a balustrade, waiting for the big event, but that’s not how I know the guy I’m looking down at is Frank. It isn’t even that he’s got that distinguished-gentleman look that old vampires have in the movies. It’s what he’s doing that tells me.
He’s kneeling in front of the altar, in front of this big golden crucifix with an especially bloody Jesus, and he’s very uncomfortable doing it. Even at this distance I can tell he’s shaking. He’s got his hands out in prayer and can barely keep them together. He’s jerking like he’s being electrocuted. He’s got his eyes on the crucifix, and when he speaks, it’s loud and his voice jerks too. It sounds confessional—the tone is right—but it’s not English and it’s not Italian. It may not even be Latin, and why should it be? He’s been around a long time and probably knows the original.
I’m thinking the stained-glass light is playing tricks on me, but it’s not. There really is a blue light moving around his hands, his face, his pants legs—blue fire—and this, I see now, it’s what’s making him jerk.
He’s got to be in pain. I mean, here in a chapel—in front of an altar—sunlight coming through the windows—making about the biggest confession any guy has ever made. Painful as hell, but he’s doing it, and suddenly I know why she loves him. Hell, anyone would.
Without knowing it I’ve unpacked my crossbow and have it up and ready. This is what God wants, so I probably get some help doing it. I’m shaking too, but go ahead and aim the thing. I need forgiveness, too, you know, I want to tell him. You can’t bank your immortal soul, no, but you do get to spend it a lot longer.
I put my finger on the trigger, but don’t pull it yet. I want to keep thinking.
No, I don’t. I don’t want to keep thinking at all.
I lower the crossbow and the moment I do I hear a sound from the back of the chapel where the main door’s got to be, and I crane my neck to see.
It’s the main door, all right. Heads are peeking in. They’re wearing black and I think to myself: Curious priests. That’s all. But the door opens up more and three of them—that holy number—step in real quiet. They’re wearing funny Jesuit collars—the ones the angel mentioned—and they don’t look curious. They look like they know exactly what they’re doing, and they look very unhappy.
Vampires have this sixth sense, I know. One of them looks up at me suddenly, smiles this funny smile, and I see sharp little teeth.
He says something to the other two and heads toward me. When he’s halfway up the staircase I shoot him. I must have my heart in it because the arrow nearly goes through him, but that’s not what really bothers him. It’s the wood. There’s an explosion of sparks, the same blue fire, and a hole opens up in his chest, grows, and in no time at all he’s just not there anymore.
Frank has turned around to look, but he’s dazed, all that confessing, hands in prayer position and shaking wildly, and he obviously doesn’t get what’s happening. The other two Jesuits are heading up the stairs now, and I nail them with my last two arrows.
The dove has dropped like a stone from its perch and is flapping hysterically in front of me, like Wrong vampires! Wrong vampires! I’m tired of its flapping, so I brush it away, turn and leave, and if it takes me (which it will) a whole day to get out of the Vatican without that dove to lead me and make doors open magically, okay. When you’re really depressed, it’s hard to give a shit about anything.
Two days later I’m back at Parlami’s. I haven’t showered. I look like hell. I’ve still got the case with me. God knows why.
I’ve had two martinis and when I look up, there he is. I’m not surprised, but I sigh anyway. I’m not looking forward to this.
“So you didn’t do it,” he says.
“You know I didn’t, asshole.”
“Yes, I do. Word does get out when the spiritual configuration of the universe doesn’t shift the way He’d like it to.”
I want to hit his baby-smooth face, his perfect nose and collagen lips, but I don’t have the energy.
“So what happens now?” I ask.
“You really don’t know?”
“No.”
He shakes his head. Same look of contempt.
“I guess you wouldn’t.”
He takes a deep breath.
“Well, the Jesuits did it for you. They killed him last night.”
