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“To take Matt’s love and do what you did to him...treating him as nothing...turning your back on him...disregarding his...”
“Now hold on a moment!” Peta shot back at her, stung into defending herself. “Matt never once said he loved me.”
“No, I daresay he didn’t.” Megan’s chin lifted, defying the negative claim. “He’s the kind of man who wouldn’t lay that on you because you told him you didn’t love him. And you’ve rubbed that in these past few weeks, haven’t you? Rubbed it in so far you left him nothing to hold on to.”
The heat in her cheeks was scorching but Peta hung grimly on to her defence. “Love never entered into our marriage,” she insisted vehemently. “From the very beginning...”
“Matt was head over heels in love with you, Peta,” Megan cut in with pitying scorn in her eyes. “That was obvious to the whole family at Patrick’s christening. Ask them. Ask any guest who attended your wedding. Only you were blind to it. Only you...”
“No, you’re wrong,” she cried, frantically resisting the charge. “He was physically attracted to me, yes. And he wanted a family...”
“With you. Because it was you,” Megan pushed relentlessly.
“No.” Peta shook her head vehemently. “Because he was ready.”
“He loved you,” Megan bored on, unshaken in her conviction. “He adored you. You were always the focus of his attention, caring about what would please you, what you wanted, doing everything he could to make you happy.” She paused, shaking her head at the stupidity of not seeing. “Add it up, Peta. That’s not lust. It’s love in capital letters.”
It was the kind of man Matt was, Peta wildly reasoned. He treated his mother the same way. The realisation struck... He loved his mother.
“And I’ll bet my boots he thought if he gave you all your dreams, you’d come to love him,” Megan went on. “But the first dream got broken and you showed him he was worth nothing to you, didn’t you, Peta?”
She rubbed at her throbbing temples. She hadn’t meant to hurt Matt. It was just...she couldn’t...
“Never mind all he did to help you.” Megan’s voice kept beating at her with sickening force. “Never mind his need to share what you were both feeling and to move on from it, his need for the togetherness he thought he’d get in your marriage. He not only lost his child, you took away everything you’d promised him, as well.”
Cheat...
“Matt poured out his love for you these past few weeks, Peta. It was obvious to both me and Mum he was desperate for you to be with him again instead of off in a world of your own. I don’t know what went on between you last night, but I can guess. You must have ripped out the last shred of hope Matt had of ever reaching into your heart. And even then...even then...he cared about you...calling me so I’d check on you, to make sure you were all right.”
She hadn’t heard his desperation. Not really. It had floated past her. Yet the words he’d punched so angrily at her...his violent actions...
“You still want to pretend he didn’t love you?” Megan mocked savagely.
“I...he never said...” Any coherent thought was lost. She lifted her hands in an agitated attempt to ward off more accusations. Her head was pounding with snatches of memories. Matt had said it...in many ways. She simply hadn’t taken it in.
The last night of their honeymoon... I don’t care to have roses banned from our life... It didn’t feel like a convenience to me... and last night... I married you for you. She hadn’t let those words mean what they had meant. She’d let them pass, attaching them to Matt’s pride if anything, not love.
The coffee-maker pinged.
“You’d better sit down before you fall down,” Megan coolly advised. “I’ll bring your coffee.”
Yes, she did feel faint. She drifted into the living room. The plates with the remnants of the dinner Matt had cooked were still sitting on the table, food congealed on them. She gripped the back of her chair, staring at the mess on her plate, knowing she’d made a much worse mess of the commitment she’d given to Matt.
If you want a divorce, just say so.
She’d said it so carelessly, numbly. While he...
Another shudder ran through her. She gripped the chair more tightly as she painfully acknowledged the truth Megan had shot at her. She had been blind and self-centred where Matt was concerned. His bringing up Giorgio... He’d given her every sign and she hadn’t seen.
“Oh, great!” Megan snapped in disgust, seeing the state of the table. She plonked down the coffee mugs she’d brought in and whipped away the soiled dinner plates. “You can sit down now,” she tossed at Peta on her way back to the kitchen.
She sat. There was no fight left in her.
Megan returned and settled at the table, all brisk determination to set the record straight. “I’ve run out of sympathy for you, Peta,” she started again. “You’re not the only woman who’s suffered a miscarriage. You were lucky it happened at six weeks.”
Peta flinched. Lucky?
“Some women carry their babies much longer before losing them. Even up to six months...”
