Page 69 of Private Deceptions


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We drank, and like I said, she talked for over an hour and then she stopped. She got up and walked over to the French doors. I walked over to her and touched her arm. It seemed to startle her.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, just wondering what you must think of me."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what do you think of me, Nick?"

"I don’t know, I think you’re nice. Very pretty."

"Is that all you see in me, Nick. A pretty face, — nice. Nice to look at, but not much more, right?"

"I didn’t say that."

"You don’t have to, because it’s the truth. That’s all I’ve ever been, pretty. Oh, look at Gabrielle, she’s so pretty. All my life I’ve gotten by on my looks."

"You ain’t all that now." I knew I had touched a nerve, so I tried to make light of it. "I was just being nice when I said you were pretty."

"Very pretty, that’s what you said, Nick." She laughed. "You said I was very pretty."

"I was lying, ’cause you look like you been hit in the face with a bag of quarters. I bet little children scream and run to their mothers when they see your ugly ass."

"Stop it, Nick. I’m not that bad. And besides it wasn’t a bag of quarters, it was a fist."

"I know, I was trying to be nice about it. But I can see. And I see that make up doesn’t hide everything."

She looked away from me and stared into her drink. "I’ve never been in control of my life, Nick. I went from my father’s house to Chilly’s. The first day I met him, he told me that I was the prettiest woman he’d ever seen. From that day on, I never wanted for anything. After a lifetime of being told no, you can’t, that’s not for you, Gabrielle. Everything was yes. All because I was pretty. But that’s all I was. All I’ve ever been. I was just something for him to show off to his peeps. To look good on his arm. I don’t have a life of my own. That’s Chilly’s wife, Mrs. Childers, even to you, Nick. To you I’m Mrs. Childers. Well I’m not, my name is Gabrielle. My friends call me Gee. Since I’m not your client anymore it’s time you started calling me Gee too."

"Okay, Gee. Why don’t you get me another drink?"

"I didn’t say you could start ordering me around," she said, snatching the glass out of my hand. "Want any ice?"

"No, just Hennessy will be fine."

Mrs. Childers handed me my drink and sat down next to me. "You’ve never told Chilly that story about you and Rocky, have you?"

"He’d kill Rocky if I told him. I never told anybody. Not Jake, not even Chéz. You’re the first."

"What makes me so special?"

"I don’t know. I’ve told you a lot of things about me, Nick. Shame that none of it is good. But that’s the way it is."

"There must be some happiness in your life."

"You tell me what there is to be happy about? I live in fear, Nick. I never know when Chilly’s gonna snap. Sometimes he can be so sweet to me and other times he’s like a nightmare."

"Maybe it’s time you wake up."

"Maybe. Maybe it is time to get my life back."

She began to cry.

"I never meant for things to turn out the way they did. You ha

ve to believe that, Nick. It was never supposed to happen."

"What are you talking about?"

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