AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Well, ya ain’t gonna give me any damn peace, so let’s hear it. Tell me how you love me, tell me how bad you frigged the hell up. Tell me how you just lost the one man who loves you like there’s no tomorrow. I wanna hear all of your heart grippin’ declarations of love for me, darlin’. So let’s hear it.” He says as he leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees.
I flinch at his words as they slice against my wounds, but suck back the pain because this is gonna be dealt with now. I sit down on the floor beside the recliner, pulling my legs up to my chest. “I haven’t lost you, Colton. I just cut you with the same knife you cut me with once.”
“Always playin’ that card, huh?” He laughs, shaking his head as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Colton, I’m not trying to lay the blame at your feet, because this time I screwed up. I’m just trying to remind you that we all make mistakes. We never meant to hurt each other, but we did. I forgave you and tried to move on. I never fully trusted myself with you and tried to hide behind my heart. But as you told me before, you own every inch of me; so I can’t belong to anyone else.” H
e takes a minute to let my words soak in, flexing his wrists as he stares up at the ceiling fan that is rotating lazily, stirring a cool breeze about the room. I tighten my grip around my legs, searching for the warmth and comfort that I have within myself to make it through this night.
“There’s only so many times that I can be slapped in the face and rejected by you before I give up.” He pinches his eyes shut firmly, not daring to look in my direction. He hasn’t looked me in the eyes at all tonight. “I’ve lost the battle to Ashton, I just have to accept it in my own time and find a way to heal.”
“Is that what you think, that I want Luke?”
“It’s pretty obvious, darlin’. I saw you with him at the diner Tuesday. Don’t act so gullible.” He sneers.
“Were you following me?” I ask in disbelief. “Luke Ashton is my best friend. He was there for me when the only interaction you wanted was physical. He listened to me vent and consoled me when I needed it. It’s just when I left you in the hospital that night I let it go too far, and so did he. I don’t regret that Luke is in my life, but I do regret that I let my lapse in judgment drive a wedge between us and possibly alter our future together.” I pause, trying to find the courage to continue speaking. “I regret that I cut you so deeply and that you may never be able to forgive me. More importantly, I regret that this baby I’ve been blessed with may be raised alone because I’ve driven you so far away. You are the only man I’ll ever love, Colton. Even if I love you from a distance.” I confess, but my words aren’t sincere enough for him.
“I know I smothered you, Carly Jo, but damn it, I was so scared that I’d let you slip through my grip if I didn’t hold you too close. What the hell am I supposed to do now, Carly Jo? I need time to process all of this shit.”
“What the hell have you been doing for the last three damn days?” He shrugs at my question as he waves his hand at the empty bottle of Jack on the coffee table. “Colton, is it that bad that you had to fall back into alcohol? Do you realize that your daughter is worried sick about you?” I question him, but he scrubs his face with his hands in frustration.
“I appreciate the concern, Carly Jo, I really do. But I can’t even stand to look you in the eye right now. I just wanna be left alone until I can figure out how to deal with it all.” He murmurs. I nod to him then stand to leave, but find him behind me. He pulls in a shaky, ragged breath and I can feel the trembles as they radiate from his body. He is all consumed with emotions and is trying to stay strong in front of me. I turn to face him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He tenses up momentarily, but when I press my face to his chest, listening to the unsteady rhythm of his heart pounding out his chest, he melts into me. He wraps his arms around me holding me close, as he presses his face deep in my hair. He releases a throaty groan, then presses me tighter against him.
“Do you feel that, Colton? You’re heart still beats for me. I may have cracked it, but it’s racing so fast because I’m in your arms. Please don’t give up on us.” I plead with a shaky whisper. I feel a tear drop touch my shoulder as Colton chokes back a sob. I pull away from his embrace, but he grips my face with both of his calloused hands, swiping the tears that have spilled over my swollen lids with the pads of his thumbs.
“I’ll always love ya, darlin’. Don’t ya ever forget the sound of my heart beatin’ just for you, Carly Jo.” He presses his swollen lips to mine, with a hungry fervor. He sucks my lip between his teeth, licking softly, before he lays one soft final kiss to my aching lips. He pulls back, then walks me to the front door, without saying a word. I give in to his request, and leave him to cope with his heartache in his own way. No goodbye is spoken, just one passionate kiss that tells me he just let me go.
Chapter 8
There’s an old sayin’ that goes: “If you love somethin’ set it free and if it comes back, it’s meant to be.” Well whoever said that is full of shit. I’ve set Carly Jo free time and time again, only for her to be continuously stripped from me. But they also say sometimes you gotta learn the hard way, and that much I can promise you is true.
It’s been over a week since Carly Jo walked out of my house, and I haven’t laid eyes on her since. I’ve been workin’ the night shift just to avoid her. Pushin’ her as far away from my mind as possible is the only way I’m gonna be able to move on. But every day when I wake up, I’m still lovin’ her. I can’t erase her from my mind, no matter how hard I try. If it weren’t for Heidi Jo, I’d leave Kentucky just to escape seein’ her and the happiness that she lives with. Just keep my focus on my baby girl and movin’ on will be simple.
I haven’t got to spend much time with my princess since this shit storm started brewin’ a few weeks ago, so I decided to have a daddy-daughter evenin’. We’re sittin’ at the Village Diner waitin’ on our food. Heidi Jo is colorin’ in her Frozen colorin’ book while she hums that same annoyin’ snowman song to herself and anyone within earshot. I laugh to myself at her spunk. Kid ain’t got a worry in the world and not an ounce of shame. I’m lost in her shrilly voice when she abruptly stops and says, “Look, Daddy. There’s Carly Jo’s friend. The one you don’t like.” I crook my neck to the right to see Luke Ashton standin’ near the counter. When our eyes lock, he nods his head before he starts walkin’ back toward me. “You ain’t gonna get mad again, are ya Daddy?” Heidi Jo asks with a bubble of nervousness in her voice. I smile, noddin’ to assure her.
“Weston. Little Lady.” Luke nods to Heidi Jo and me. Heidi Jo smiles as she looks nervously between me and Luke.
“Ashton.” I tip my chin up. “Whatever it is, man, can wait. I’m havin’ supper with my daughter; so have some respect and walk away.
“Listen, man. I’m worried about Carly. Ain’t heard from her for days. Y’all still ain’t figured all this out?”
“Your woman now, Luke. Ain’t my problem any more.” I grumble with a cocked eye brow.
He ain’t pickin’ up what I’m layin’ down. Dumbass slides in the booth beside Heidi Jo, picks up a crayon and asks if he can color with her. She looks to me for approval, and I nod. She smiles up at Luke and with a wink she says, “Well sure, big guy. But stay on your own side so you don’t mess up my masterpiece.”
Luke colors quietly with Heidi Jo for a minute, ignorin’ that I’m just sittin’ inches within reach of him and his throat. I release a deep growl to catch his attention and he looks at me from the corner of his eye as he speaks to Heidi Jo. “You are such a wonderful artist, little lady. I won’t mess up your masterpiece any more than I already have. I’m gonna chat with your daddy for a minute, if that’s okay.” He says, layin’ the crayon down in the small pile. Heidi Jo nods to him, then continues to hum.
“Not your woman anymore, huh? Weston, I told ya once before to fight for her. Why are ya givin’ up so easily?”
“I ain’t gettin’ into this with ya, Ashton. Let it be. We ain’t buddies, so stop actin’ like it.”
“Ain’t never said we were buddies, Weston. You’re makin’ a big mistake, man; turning your back on her. If you don’t wanna talk about Carly, how ‘bout we talk ‘bout your path of mass destruction? You plannin’ on fixin’ any of that?”
“What the hell you talkin’ ‘bout Luke?” I scoff, this prick’s done lost his damn mind.
“Really? Damn, Weston. Do you remember anything about that night? Ain’t you wondered how your truck got so beat up?” He’s searchin’ my eyes for an answer, but I ain’t got one to give him.
“No, but I’m sure you’re gonna tell me, huh Luke?” I shrug at him as I shift around in my seat.
