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“Darlin’, ain’t no point in dredgin’ up all the pain again. Fact is, we’ve both made mistakes. One thing I’ve realized is I can’t stop lovin’ you. I don’t wanna stop lovin’ you. So, until the last breath extinguishes from my body, I’ll be here, by your side, holdin’ your hand, lovin’ you.” I kiss the back of her hand, then shoot her a quick wink that earns me a wide smile.
“So we start fresh? Put it all, and I mean everything behind us and move forward?” She questions.
“No, we start where we left off…just another bump in the road that’s made us stronger. Ain’t no point in movin’ slow, pacin’ things along. We always come back to each other, Carly Jo; only because that’s where we belong, together. I know everything there is to know about you, darlin’. If you’re more comfortable keepin’ things above the sheets until you get the results of the paternity test, I’m fine with that. As long as I have you tucked by my side each night.”
Carly Jo clears the table, rinsin’ the dishes before placin’ ‘em in the dishwasher. Makin’ her way back to the table she wraps her arms around my neck, plantin’ herself in my lap and kissin’ the corner of my mouth. She leans her head against my shoulder as she releases a deep sigh. “For the first time in months, I feel like I can breathe. I feel like I’m home.”
I pepper delicate kisses across her forehead, breathin’ in that delectably sweet scent that I’ve missed so damn much. “Welcome home, darlin’. Welcome home.”
Home.
Hearing him say that word settles all of my doubts and fears. I haven’t felt at home since I left South Carolina. Coming home to Kentucky I’ve unveiled a mountain of secrets that I wish I could hide away. I’ve felt even more alone in the home I grew up in surrounded by the people that I’ve known all of my life. But the displacement and overwhelming sense of loneliness has made me stronger because I realized I could only rely on me to take care of myself. It wasn’t hard to find my strength, it’s been here all this time.
When Colton re-entered my life I faltered briefly and let the weakness consume me because he breaks me down so easily. One simple touch and I’m putty in his hands. He knows the extent of his control over me and I pray to God that he handles me with care. If he leaves me again, I’ll be dust at his feet. My heart can’t shatter again and continue beating.
Home is where the heart is and my heart has always belonged to Colton. You can mask your fears and try to bury the pain, but it’s what lies beneath the surface that holds the truth. We have both ran in opposite directions trying to hide from the other, but the earth’s pull draws us back together every time. Whether it takes seven years or a couple of months, we always collide together.
I was taken aback when Colton told me that he made amends with Luke. I don’t know why he always had so much hostility towards Luke, but I’m glad that he has put it behind him. Luke and I may have had one amazing night that was a huge mistake, but that doesn’t alter our friendship at all. We have a physical attraction to each other, but Luke knows that friendship is all I can offer him. He knows that my heart belongs to Colton.
I hope that IF Luke is the daddy of my baby, Colton holds true to his promise. He said he won’t walk away from us, that he’ll be here holding my hand regardless. But he’s left me so many times before that it’s really hard to grasp any truth in his statement, although I really want to believe him. Two weeks…that’s how much longer I have to stand with my feet on the ledge of the cliff, waiting to know the results of the Paternity test. There’s a double edged sword to this situation. I have Colton back which is exactly what I want, what I need. I know he will have a hard time keeping his hands to himself over the next two weeks and I can’t erase the what-ifs from my mind. I guess I’ll just live in the moment, take each day as it comes and see what tomorrow holds.
After I’ve cleaned up our mess, we crawl back into bed. Colton nestles me tight to his side wrapping one arm around my shoulder, hanging the other over my hip as our feet tangle together. I nuzzle my face against his shoulder and his scruffy unshaven face tickles my nose. A giggle escapes my lips because I’ve missed the sensation of his scruff tickling my face, the scent of his warm body encasing mine. I’ve just missed him.
“What’re ya gigglin’ ‘bout darlin’?” His husky voice vibrates in my ear.
“Your beard is scruffy and it tickles my face. Just thinking about how much I’ve missed this.”
“We’ll make up for what we’ve lost, darlin’. I don’t want to think about the past anymore. We can’t change anything behind us, we can only pave a perfection for tomorrow. The world could be pulled out from beneath me, but as long as I have you, Heidi Jo and our baby all will be perfect.” He runs his fingers through my hair as he speaks and the softness of his touch sends tremors down my spine. “You just have to trust in me. I’m a changed man, darlin’. That much I can promise you."
“I trust you, baby.” I whisper against his neck, getting comfortable as sleep tugs at me.
Chapter 18
Considering the awkwardness between Colton and I over the last few weeks, I’m utterly amazed at how quickly we fall back into an ease of comfort with each other. Reluctantly, I’ve spent the last two weeks at his house, but he insisted that I begin adjusting to the life we hope to build together. Although I refuse to have sex with him until we are sure of the paternity of the baby, he’s surprisingly okay with just holding me close to him and talking at night. It’s bringing us closer together, sorta like getting to know each other all over again. We may have fallen in love as kids, but time and circumstances strained that love, although it was ever present lying dormant below the surface of our hearts. It’s nice getting to know the Colton that I know now; the mature man, the daddy, the superintendent.
After we drop Heidi Jo off at school, Colton and I make our way to Simon Energy. He scans his ID card at the front gate, then pulls to the front space labeled Carly Simon. After being attacked by Drew a few weeks ago, I had a high tech security system with key card entry only installed at all of the mines. Anyone else who wishes to enter the properties has to be verified by security at the front gate before entering.
“Hey,” I squeeze his arm lightly, “will you go to Lexington with me this weekend to pick out a new vehicle?”
He shoots me a sideways glance before popping the latch on the door and climbing out. I slide to the edge of the seat where he helps from the cab. “You know I will.”
“So why do you look so shocked?” I bump my hip into his side and a low grumble boils up in his chest. Hey, I said I wasn’t screwing his eyeballs out yet. Flirting is fair game.
He wraps his arm around my waist and thrust me backwards into his firm chest. His growing erection pulsates against my ass and a sly smile slips up my lips knowing that I can affect him so wildly. “You’re gonna kill me, you know this right?” He breathes against my ear, causing me to shudder in excitement. “I’m shocked you’re gettin’ rid of the Camaro. I thought she was your baby.” He says lacing our fingers together as he drags me up the stairs and out of the cold.
I twist around quickly shooting him a deadpan glare, “Hey, who the hell said I was gettin’ rid of my baby!” I snap at him. “I can promise you now that shit ain’t happening. I just want an SUV because the Camaro is too small for when my little monkey makes her appearance into the real world. I really don’t know what to look for as far as safety standards, fuel economy, blah blah; so I thought you would help.” I mimic with my hand.
“Pipe down, woman.” He barks at me playfully as we pass by Shelly who rolls her eyes at us. “We’ll drive down to Lexington, and find my darlin’ an SUV. Heidi Jo would love to go to Kangaroo Jack’s. Let’s make a weekend of it.”
I toss my messenger bag on the floor beside the desk then
fall back into the leather chair. “Sounds good, I’ll search for a hotel after I complete my reports. Do you have a very busy day?”
“Yep, up to my ass with MSHA violations to get straightened out.” He leans down for a kiss, but steals the breath right from me instead.
“Well move your ass, Weston. You’re costin’ me money! Scoot it, sexy.” I say swatting at his ass as he walks around the desk. He chuckles as he walks out of the office and it echoes through the hallway, filling my heart with happiness.
When he’s out of sight, I pull my focus to my morning tasks of checking emails, productivity and safety reports, etc. I power on the laptop and wait for it to boot up, then move over to the Keurig to brew a steaming cup of hot chocolate. Sitting back down, I see a pile of mail on the edge of the desk that I somehow overlooked. Sifting through it, I toss the junk mail to the side only opening the important mail. A large gold envelope is stuffed in the middle of the stack and neatly written across the front is my name, no addresses whatsoever. I toss everything aside, intrigued by this lone envelope and the contents that it holds.
