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“The baby is due in September, right?” I nod. “You can’t be travelin’ after the seventh month, darlin’. So marry me by July and you’ll make me a happy man.”
“So you want me fat, barefoot and pregnant when you marry me?” I twist around to look at him, with my eyebrow cocked. My dream wedding doesn’t include any of the above.
“You’re beautiful regardless, baby. You handle the wedding and I’ll handle gettin’ you moved in here.” He peers at me out of the corner of his eye, waiting for my reaction. I drop bread into the toaster, then plate his food. He pulls the barstool out waiting for his food and I can see now he could get used to being waited on hand and foot.
“Okay, living arrangements haven’t even been discussed yet. What makes you assume we plan to live here?” I ask, sliding a plate across the island to him.
“Simple.” He cocks his head to the side like I should know the answer without him stating the obvious. When he sees that I’m still expecting an answer, he huffs and says, “Because I said so; leave it at that.” Did he really just try to play the man card? Go ahead, Colton, pull the man card and watch me rip that bitch in half.
“Oh hell NO. You did not just say that!?” I laugh at his brazenness. “Care to explain in further detail, why you ‘say so’?” I mock with air quotes.
“Alright darlin’, but don’t get pissed. I’m just bein’ honest. First, I sure as hell ain’t livin’ in your childhood home. With the amount of shit Big John kept buried deep, I ain’t about to sleep where his skeletons lie.” He holds up another finger and delivers a blow that I didn’t see coming. “Secondly, you must think I’m one dumb son of a bitch to sleep in a frickin’ room where another man had MY woman.” Yep, he went there and knocked the wind right outta my damn lungs. I nearly choke on a bite of bacon as his words wound me, but he doesn’t even notice as he continues to deliver his point home. “Lastly, this is Heidi Jo’s home. That little girl has only known this house and Momma’s. I can’t interrupt her life just because mine is changin’. We can build on, whatever we need to do, but this is our home now.”
I sigh, biting down on my lip, considering his explanation. I didn’t expect him to bring Luke into it, but what should I expect? He’s still wounded. I’m just grateful that he is looking forward more than he is looking behind him.
“Okay, that all seems fair. And it will be nice to have your mom close by when they baby is born. I’m a little clueless and to be honest, I’m scared shitless.”
“You have nothin’ to be worried ‘bout, baby.”
“By the way, when the hell did you have time to buy an engagement ring?” I ask taking a sip of orange juice.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told ya, so I’ll keep it my own little secret.” I cock an eyebrow up at him and he sighs in defeat, rolling his eyes at me. “Alright, you win as usual.”
He scrubs his hand roughly up his face, taking a deep breath. “I bought your engagement ring right after we got back together; when you came home in the fall. I know it was a bit eager on my end, but I’ve always known I was gonna marry you, Carly Jo. I had planned to ask you to marry me on Christmas Eve, but then you left me after the accident. I put it away, because I knew you’d come back, I just didn’t know when.”
My mouth drops open wide and he tips my chin, closing my lips together firmly before kissing me gently. “So you’ve had it all this time?” I ask looking down at my hand.
“Yep, and it took everything in me not to ask you when you found out you were pregnant.” He shakes his head as his eyes drift shut, and I can see the agony of the last three months wash over him. “I knew you weren’t ready though. These last three months, Carly Jo, the rocky cliff we’ve balanced from gripped me so tight, some days I just wanted to give up. Thankfully, God didn’t let me lose my faith in you.”
I climb into his lap wrapping my arms around his neck, clinging to him like my life depends on his touch. “Thank you for not giving up on us. I can’t imagine life without you, Colton.” Tears trickle down my cheeks, but he quickly kisses them away.
“Don’t cry.” He shushes, consoling me. It’s bittersweet tears that I cry. We’ve both wronged the other. But after all of the lies, secrets and destruction we have dragged the other through, we find our way back together.
Chapter 21
DESPAIR
de·spair
verb di-'sper
: to no longer have any hope or belief that a situation will improve or change
Luke flops down, placing his arms across the back of the couch, relaxing instantly between Carly and me. A sweet smile splays across his face and the sparkle in his eyes as he speaks causes goose bumps to blanket my flesh. I scoot closer to the edge of the couch putting distance between Luke and me. Pulling in a deep breath, I pinch my eyes shut as I gather my thoughts.
You’re married, Savannah. Yeah, your husband is an abusive bastard who could care less about loving you, only uses you to feed his need for control. But remember, Savannah; you made vows to be a faithful, loving wife. Until Josh gets tired of beating the shit out of you, endure the abuse and smile through the tears. Nobody cares about your pain.
“Savannah, you okay over there?” Carly says pulling me from my internal monologue.
“Yeah, sorry got lost in thought I guess. What were you saying?” I ask looking from Carly to Luke. As soon as his eyes capture mine I feel naked and exposed. My eyes well up with tears but I bite them back before they spill over my lids.
“Luke was asking you about Josh. I know he’s not much of a get together kinda guy, but where is he?”
“Oh.” I say, wringing my hands nervously in my lap. “He had to travel to North Carolina this week for work.”
“What’s he do?” Luke asks, his eyes piercing through me like a dagger. It isn’t a look that’s terrifying, but a look that leaves me feeling vulnerable.
“He’s in coal sales.” I say quietly. Carly chooses this inopportune time to go to the bathroom, leaving me to my own devices. I look down at my hands trembling in my lap then glance up at Luke quickly before searching the room with my eyes, looking anywhere but him.
