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“Y’all ready to determine the gender?” Dr. Staton asks, and in sync we reply.
“Yes!”
She continues to scroll the wand around, nudgin’ her side tryin’ to make the baby roll over. Carly Jo winces, bitin’ down on her lip in discomfort. “Ya alright, baby.” She nods quietly, keepin’ her eyes on the screen.
“There. You see right there?” Dr. Staton asks, puttin’ an arrow cursor up on the screen, snappin’ shots of the image we see. “That’s your little girl. A wild one, too.”
Carly Jo clasps her hand over her mouth as tears spill over her lashes. I kiss her knuckles, mouthin’ I love you with a small wink. The excitement that courses through me is the best feelin’ in the world, and I can’t decide whether I want to watch my precious little girl roll around on the monitor or if I want to watch the emotions sweepin’ across my darlin’s face.
Carly Jo keeps her eyes fixed on the monitor, until the lights flip on and the screen goes black; the blindin’ smile on her face never waverin’. Kaylee wipes her belly off then takes her by the hand, and helps her to sit up on the edge of the exam table.
“Alright, Carly. Everything looks wonderful. The baby is progressing nicely. Kaylee is gonna draw some blood for routine lab work, then we’ll see you back in four weeks.” She scribbles down notes in Carly Jo’s file before shakin’ our hands. “If you need anything, just shout.”
After Kaylee draws her blood, I schedule Carly Jo’s next appointment while she makes a pit stop in the restroom.
“Let’s stop at home and have lunch before we go to the mines.” I say, helpin’ her up in the Tahoe.
“Sounds great, I’m starving.”
The drive home is silent as Carly Jo gazes out the window watchin’ the world pass by in a blur. She hasn’t said a word since we left the doctor’s office. Judgin’ by the way she’s chewin’ her lip in half, I can tell she’s battlin’ somethin’ that’s got her gripped tight.
When we get home, she changes her clothes while I make turkey sandwiches for lunch. She comes to the livin’ room with her hair piled into a messy pony tail, wearin’ her favorite UK sweatpants and hoodie. I carry our food to the livin’ room, sittin’ down beside her to eat.
“What’cha so silent for, baby?” I question. She ignores me, pickin’ the crust off her sandwich. I take her plate from her lap, placin’ it on the coffee table then pull her into my lap. “Tell me what you’re feelin’.” She shrugs her shoulders, still chewin’ on that damn lip. I pull her lip from between her teeth with my thumb, then tilt her chin up so I can look into her eyes. Her eyes are glistenin’ with unshed tears and my heart stills knowin’ she’s simply overwhelmed.
“Ya overwhelmed?” I ask her, and she nods silently. “Ya know, I can remember that overwhelmin’ feelin’ I felt the entire time Kari was pregnant with Heidi Jo. I was bitter for the longest time because I felt like my life was over before it had begun, but I was wrong. My life didn’t begin til she took her first breath.” I swipe a tear that falls down her cheek. “I know what you’re feelin’ right now, darlin’. But I promise you this…the moment you hear our sweet girl cry for the first time will be the happiest moment you’ll ever be blessed with. Holdin’ her in your arms for the first time, knowin’ that you’re the safety that she relies on will be better than any other emotion you’ll ever feel.”
She sits up a little straighter and rubs her belly. “Seeing her today, seeing how much she’s grown and how well she’s developing, made this pregancy feel more real.” She circles her hand over her belly as she sighs heavily, “I’m just so worried that I won’t be a good mom.”
“What the hell makes you think that?” I chide, her remark instantly annoyin’ me. She shrugs me off like I should find truth in her statement. “Darlin’, it’s natural to worry because it’s a major change becomin’ a parent. But don’t you dare doubt your ability to be a momma. Look at your relationship with Heidi Jo…ain’t that proved anything to ya yet?”
“I just hope that I can be the momma I always dreamed of being. I love Heidi Jo like my own, but she looks up to me like I’m a friend; not as a momma.” She looks away sheepishly, tryin’ to hide the sadness fillin’ her eyes.
I kiss her lips softly, then rest my forehead against hers. “That’s where you’re wrong, baby. Heidi Jo looks a
t you like you’re her momma, she just doesn’t know how to express how she feels for you. She still has moments when she doesn’t understand why Kari ain’t here with her. But that void she always felt in her heart, in her life-you fill that, darlin’.”
She pinches her eyes closed, and a single tear trickles slowly down her flush cheek. “There are just so many things to learn! What if I mess up or hurt her?”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Carly Jo. You have the inner strength of a dozen men, but change terrifies you. Embrace it for all it’s worth. We’re gettin’ married, and our family is comin’ together. I know it seems like so much to happen all in such a short length of time, but I’ll be here all the while, leadin’ you each step of the way.”
Chapter 24
Bitchy.
That’s the only way to describe me. Stress from every angle absorbs me and if I didn’t have Colton by my side, holding my hand and reminding me to breath, I’d done lost my shit. At twenty weeks pregnant my rounded belly is clearly noticeable, the raging hormones seep from my pores and the resting bitch face kindly tells everyone to piss off without me having to say a word. I’m restless already, my legs ache in misery each night as I try to sleep. I want to eat and have sex around the clock.
Colton is beyond ecstatic that I have such an insatiable sexual appetite. For a man who can’t keep his hands to himself, he’s living in a desirable bliss. Each morning, my hands find his thick cock before my eyes even open. He started setting his alarm earlier than usual because I was late getting Heidi Jo to school one morning due to an explicit sheetrock splitting, headboard cracking good morning kiss. Like I said, my hands wander. One thing led to another and before we knew it the headboard was shoved through the wall, the bed rails busted to the floor just as Colton spilled his release into me. When he collapsed on top of me, his sweaty body heaving roughly against my chest, I never wanted that moment to end. Whether he makes love to me gently or rocks me violently beneath him in the most aggressive way, the love delivered is earth shattering.
I spent the entire last two weeks browsing through wedding magazines and planning catalogs before I got frustrated and threw the towel in. After talking to Colton, we decided to get married on the beach. I have less than two months to tie the knot, so I don’t have time to pussyfoot around with planners, flowers and all of the other bells and whistles that go into a fairytale wedding. Give me some warm white sand, the ocean breeze blowing through my hair as the sun sets in the horizon and I’m right as rain.
Colton asked to select the music for the wedding and I happily agreed. I reminded him that he needed to find a best man, and even suggested that he ask his dad. He laughed at that suggestion, calling on Luke Ashton instead. Shocked the frickin’ hell right out of me, but it’s fitting in its own way. Colton’s life revolves around his daughter and coal mining, so he hasn’t had many friends involved in his life in recent years. Since he accepted Luke as a permanent fixture in my life, the two of them have become true friends which nearly scared me at first, but I’ve adapted to their friendship.
Naturally, I want Savannah to be my maid of honor, but I haven’t worked up the courage to ask her yet. She hasn’t called me since I told her that Colton and I were engaged and I’m nervous for her reaction to being included in the wedding. Jealousy and anger are two emotions I haven’t seen on Savannah since we were kids and the more I think over her personality changes recently, the more convinced I become that Luke may be right. Instead of being bubbly and smiling all of the time, she’s withdrawn and quiet. She hates any physical contact and the light in her eyes is simply dim. I just don’t know how to approach Savannah and ask bluntly if I need to cut Josh’s dick off before torturing him slowly for hurting my sister. Not a very subtle conversation to have with someone.
I’ve been on pins and needles over our lunch date since she replied to the text agreeing to meet me. We decided to meet at a restaurant close by her house, so after I drop Heidi Jo off at school, I stop by Simon Energy quickly to check in on Colton. He has been all up in arms over some violations that MSHA smacked us with last week. We were given two weeks to bring everything up to code or we’d have to face a ten thousand dollar fine for each day that the violations went over the two week deadline. He’s been working fourteen hour shifts, just to keep the miners asses in line and to keep any extra stress away from me; so we’ve seen very little of each other this week. He leaves the house at six AM each morning and comes dragging in after eight each night.
Shelly is nowhere in sight, so I grab the stack of mail and messages she has set aside for me and turn down the hallway towards Colton’s office. I stop mid step when I hear loud shouting seep from the walls. There are two voices, both are muffled and I can’t make out the argument. I knock on his office door once, but I’m sure he doesn’t hear me through the shouting. Intrigued by the argument, I twist the knob pulling the door open and enter Colton’s office. The shouting stops. Colton’s eyes pierce mine and the roiling anger that radiates from him and Bill causes my breath to hitch in my throat.
