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“That shouldn’t ever be a question, baby. In fact, you’d be so proud of your little girl.” She says softly and I cock an eyebrow up at her, intrigued by her statement. Before I can ask her what Heidi Jo did, she chokes on her words, “Sh-she called me Momma,” a broken sob hitches in her throat.
Momma?
Momma!
“Night, Daddy. Tell Momma I love her.” I remember her sayin’ as I tucked her in, but I thought she might have been dreamin’ of Kari. My chest swells so tight that it hurts, and an overwhelmingly prideful feelin’ clenches me.
"Momma." I smile to myself.
One of the hardest things I've ever done was to explain to my baby girl why Kari - her momma wasn't with her. Death is a hard concept to understand at four years old but I refused to ever lie to Heidi Jo. The foundation of her very existence was built on lies...I refused to let my lies and secrets control her life. That’s not what makes her who she is; but her genuine heart and adoring personality. Momma was always there, fillin’ Kari’s shoes bein’ the momma that Heidi Jo needed, but it’s hard for her to play the role of momma and mamaw.
Heidi Jo fell for Carly Jo as quickly as I did. One night as I was tuckin' her in she asked me if I'd make Carly Jo her momma. I told her I was workin' on it. She was satisfied with my promise, but each night as she kneeled beside her bed to pray she would always finish on a whisper, prayin’ that God would make Carly Jo her momma.
Things hung in the balance by a weak, frayin’ thread for a while. Heidi Jo had a hard time with Carly Jo’s absence as much as I fought with it. My heart broke, shatterin’ into a million tiny pieces each time her smile didn't reach her eyes. I knew she missed Carly Jo and was slowly beginnin’ to give up hope of havin’ a momma. She didn't understand how or why someone she loved left her life so quickly. She instantly blamed herself just as she did after she began questioning Kari’s absence. Knowin’ that Heidi Jo’s doubts have settled and she’s found the motherly love she’s always deserved tugs at my heart.
Family.
Carly Jo lays tucked underneath my arm quietly swipin’ tears from the corners of her eyes, startlin’ me from deep thought.
“Thank you, baby.” I mutter, kissin’ the top of her head. She yawns lazily, tightenin’ her arms around my waist as she nestles her face against my chest, her eyes flutterin’ closed.
“What for?” She asks quietly, sleep tuggin’ her from within my reach.
“For havin’ a heart big enough to love my-our daughter unconditionally. She needs you as much as I do, Carly Jo.”
“Mmm,” she mumbles low, driftin’ further off to dream.
I press a light kiss to the side of her temple then bury my face in her soft caramel waves. The sweet scent of rose buds and Japanese cherry blossoms swirl around me as I inhale deeply, rakin’ my fingers through her hair. The tips of my fingers move on their own accord, grazin’ the soft, tender flesh at the nape of her neck, then trailin’ down the contours of her throat and shoulder. She mindlessly melts into me with a breathless sigh, nudgin’ her knee between my thigh as she tangles her feet in mine.
A low grumble rattles in my chest as her warm breath cascades across my throat and I tighten my grip around her hip, palmin’ her ass in my hand with a tight squeeze.“Damn, darlin’,” I whisper against her ear with a nip, “I need you so damn much, baby.” I know she’s tired, but I need her like I need my next breath to come down from this roller coaster of mixed emotions chargin’ through me. This day went from fun to shit to deeper shit to one of the happiest moments in my life. The highs outweigh the lows, but I’m wound so tight I feel like I could explode any minute now. But feelin’ Carly Jo pressed tight to my chest has my cock twitchin’ beggin’ to feel her wrapped tightly around it. I knead her ass cheek as my mouth finds the soft curve of her throat and my lips still at her throbbin’ pulse point. I inhale a slow, torturous breath focusin’ on our racin’ hearts, beatin’ together in a melodious harmony.
Sync.
My heart beats because of her.
My mouth continues its decent down the swells of her breast as a smolderin’ heat blankets over me, sweat beadin’ across my brow and all I’ve frickin’ done is touched her. Shit! My lips latch onto her taut nipple as my fingers trail inside her thigh to her sweet, warm pussy. She whimpers softly stirrin’ in her sleep, diggin’ her nails tightly into my back. I circle her clit gently, before glidin’ over her soft slit and sinkin’ into her warm entrance. I roll her to her back and she instinctively spreads her legs wider, grantin’ me access where I desire it most. Hoverin’ over her I trail wet, hot kisses down her body at a slow torturous pace findin’ pleasure in each of her soft cries.
She fists her hands in my hair and lets out a low raspy moan as my lips latch onto her sweetest spot. I lap my tongue up her slit languidly, teasing her clit slowly. Warm, sweet honey coats my lips as my fingers tease her tenderly. She fists my hair tighter and my cock goes rigid-hard as steel. Easin’ up her body I lean to the side, mindful of her huge baby bump. I grasp her neck tightly in my thick palm and swallow her cries as my lips crash to hers. She kisses me wildly with a fierceness so out of control that my mind fogs. I blink my eyes rapidly and a thick white haze encases around me.
I’ve been drunk.
I’ve been high.
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But nothin’, not a damn thing compares to the euphoric high of makin’ love to Carly Jo.
I roll to my back, pullin’ her to straddle on top of me. Grinnin’ with lust hooded eyes, she grinds her wet pussy against my dick. I grip her hips and line her over my cock, grazin’ her clit with the tip, then thrust her roughly down onto me. Her head thrashes back wildly and she pierces her nails into my chest so hard that I can feel the prickle of blood formin’ on my skin. I hold her still, swirlin’ small circles lazily against her hip bone as I gently thrust against her. Her eyes lull and her back arches as she grips my thighs. I still. My cock throbs inside of her, but I don’t move. Her eyes flash open, smoky, lust filled hazel irises gaze back at me. I caress her chin, then raise up to taste her lips. I lick my tongue across the bottom of her plump lip softly, but she nips at my mouth harshly, rollin’ my lip between hers. Cuppin’ her chin in my hand, I pull my mouth from hers and gaze into her sunflower eyes, “ride me, baby,” I say huskily.
The way she devours my mouth tells me she wants the control, so I give it to her freely. She rocks her hips against me roughly, grippin’ her nails into my shoulders. As she closes her eyes, I cup the back of her neck in my hand bringin’ her forehead to mine. “Look at me, darlin’.” I command with a low feral growl. Her eyes pop open, excitement flashin’ wildly and a glistenin’ sheen of sweat beads across the swell of her heavy breast. Her chest heaves roughly as she works herself up and down my cock. Her eyes pierce me frantically and her grip on my shoulder tightens, as her pace quickens. Grippin’ her hips, I can feel my release brewin’ as my balls stiffen. Her eyes grow wide as a high pitched hum falls loudly from her lips. I thrust her one last time then still her hips as we come together. Pantin’ loudly, chests risin’ and fallin’, our sweaty bodies tangle tighter together as our release washes over us with a soothing calm.
She rolls from my lap and falls back against the bed, sighin’ breathlessly. I lay back beside her, bury my face in the crook of her neck, and revel in the feel of her in my arms. No better feelin’ in the whole damn world. “I love you, Carly Jo.” I whisper against her neck, after my breathin’ has calmed. But the white noise that fills the room is her soft, silent snores.
I wake up the next morning squirming to get out of bed. Colton’s dead, thick weight pressing against me all night was misery for my weak, now full bladder. I untangle myself from the death grip his arms have locked around me and stumble to the bathroom, swaying lightly on my feet. My thighs and back yell at me in protest, and I don’t have a damn clue why.
When I stand from the toilet, I’m suddenly hot and flush, so I splash cold water on my face before trudging back to bed. Drained of every ounce of energy, I just want to pull the blanket up high over my face and melt into the mattress for the next month or so. I lay on my right side, then flop to my left. I punch the pillows, fluffing them aggressively. The bed shakes lightly and I peek one eye open to see Colton’s arms stretching up above his head and his thick lips tipped up into a wide smile that meets his pinched eyes. I groan to myself and tug the blanket tighter around my face.
“Wake up on the wrong side of the bed, darlin’?” He asks, trying to pull the blanket away from my face, but I have it gripped so tightly in my fist he’d have to pry my fingers open to remove the soft cotton. I moan loudly, then flop back to my right side.
